


Trio Out of Time

by lvrgrl5



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 1940s, Asian-American Character, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Brainwashing, F/M, Kidnapping, M/M, Multi, Other, Period-Typical Racism, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:47:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 44,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23831851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lvrgrl5/pseuds/lvrgrl5
Summary: //Follows the events of the Captain America movies most of the time. I'm bad at tagging but I'm sure if it comes up I'll edit them in. I might even change the rating too if it comes up to it. All characters and used lines belong to Marvel and their respective movies and franchise.//Reader is an asian female. She meets Steve and Bucky when she's young and has been their best friend ever since. They become lovers but soon the war tears them apart. What will happen to the Reader?UPDATE: I found a better title. It's better than trying to loosely revolve around the song lol
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Reader
Kudos: 25





	1. Prelude

**Author's Note:**

> Some prelude before we get into the First Avenger film.

**1933, Brooklyn**

“Hey back off!” yelled a scrawny little blond kid. The bullies had just pushed and made fun of the other small kid, an Asian girl. “What’s the matter with you? Is that any way to treat a girl?”

“Ah yeah punk? You wanna defend the girl, be our guest,” said the bully. His small gang punched and kicked the blond boy. Fortunately, he always got up every time he was brought down. “You just don’t know when to quit, huh,” the bully taunted.

“I can do this all day,” the blond panted. Once more, he gets punched down.

“Hey,” another voice calls out, “Pick on someone your own size.” A taller brunet boy stopped the bullies and shooed them off, leaving the beaten blond and frightened girl. He walks up to the two, “You gotta stop with the fights Stevie. ‘Else I’m gonna get in trouble with your ma for not takin’ care a’ yas.”

“I had them on the ropes Buck,”

“Yeah, yeah, not even close punk.” The blond dusted himself off and turned to the girl, “are you okay?” You flinched when he stretched out his tattered hand. “It’s okay, I’m not gonna hurt you. I’m Steve,” he crouched, “and this jerk is my best pal James.”

“But everyone calls me Bucky.”

You hesitated but finally, “I-I’m… (y/n) (l/n)…” you took Steve’s still outstretched hand.

“Nice to meet you (y/n). Do you… uh wanna join us? We’re heading out for some milkshakes.”

“You sure?”

“We’re not like other people (y/n),” Bucky assured you, “People got get their heads outta their asses-“

“Buck! Language!” scolded Steve.

Bucky just side eyed him and continued, “…and realize that people are people. Skin, size, whatever, should not matter.”

“Buck’s right (y/n).”

They both shone brightly in front of you, and for once since you came into America, you felt at home.

**1939, a week prior to the war**

You catch up with Steve after school. You and him had gone to art school together and you grown close to both him and Bucky.

“Hi Steve, how was class?”

“Good, we were just practicing real life modelling.”

“Ouu must’ve seen some pretty dames.”

“…they were male…” he shyly said, his face turned cherry red.

You laughed hysterically, “C’mon, Buck is waiting for us at the diner.” You took his hand and dragged him along.

At the diner, you saw Bucky at the usual booth you guys always sat at.

“Hiya Buck,”

“Took you guys long enough. I just ordered the usual.”

You greeted each other with a tight hug and a peck to the cheek, “Thanks Buckaroo.”

“You know I hate when you call me that doll. So how was class you two?”

“Stevie was practicing drawing some pretty fancy _naked_ men,” you teased, once again flushing Steve’s face.

“Was he? Maybe you could draw me sometime,” Bucky winked. Their relationship was special. You knew it went beyond just childhood best friends. You knew behind closed doors, they were and will always be, lovers. You were just lucky that you weren’t shut out from their relationship.

“How about you (y/n/n), what did you do?”

“Pottery. Made some pretty nifty tools.”

“Ah yeah? What kind of tools?”

“Oh you know…”

“No I don’t know,” he pursued, “(y/n/n)…”

“Okay, okay… it was just a couple of knives. Nothing fancy, just like… pottery knives.”

“Funny, making tools out of the clay to use them for.”

“Ha, ha, very funny.”

Your milkshakes came to your table. Bucky got the chocolate, Steve with Vanilla, and you always preferred the Strawberry.

Soon enough, you all walked over to Steve’s home later that night.

“Thanks guys, I really needed this. Especially after…” said Steve lowly. His mom had just passed away from TB leaving Steve all alone. Luckily for him, Bucky was there for him.

“We’re with you ‘til the end of line, isn’t that right doll?”

“Yeah Stevie, you, me, and Buck-o. You ain’t gotta do this alone.” You took Steve into your arms and kissed his cheek, “I gotta go. You know how my mom is.”

“Be careful (y/n/n),” Bucky warned.

“I will Buck. I promise,” you also hugged and kissed him and went on your way.

Unbeknownst to you while you walked a block and a half home, someone lurked in the shadows. He eyed you and took notes. He had been watching your every move for the past week. He watched as you got into your home and settled into your room which was at the front of the house on the second floor. Content that he was done for the night, he disappeared.

**A week later.**

_Attention, the United States of America is now at war with the Axis powers, Germany, Italy, and Japan._

You had heard the news. An unfortunate time to be alive. You heard from your parents, who weren’t being very discreet, that the Japanese have either enlisted or have been sent to the internment camps. Thankfully, you weren’t Japanese yourself but you had no idea what was in store for you when you went to school.

You walked through the gateways on campus and you couldn’t help, since walking out the house, all eyes were on you. It all felt menacing. Did you do something wrong? You were a normal girl. You went to school, you went home, and only hung out with Bucky and Steve.

“(y/n/n)!” Steve yelled and caught up with you, “you okay? I’ve been calling you for a while now.”

“Oh sorry Stevie. I was just in thought is all.”

He pulled you aside, “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know Steve. I just get a feeling that people are staring at me, and not in a good way.”

“What why?”

“Maybe the war?”

“Don’t be silly. The war is scary sure, but that doesn’t give people the right to treat you any different. ‘sides, you’ll be fine when you get to class.”

“Maybe you’re right Stevie. Thanks. I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, and we’ll go for milkshakes after. My treat.”

“Stevie you don’t have to spend money on lil’ ole me.”

He took your hand and gave you a small smile, “I want to (y/n/n).”

You went to class as usual but the atmosphere was different just like you worried. Death glares all around the class. People backed up when you walked close to them, they scooted their chairs towards each other leaving you alone at a table, even the professor side eyed you and you couldn’t tell if it was pity or something else. Then, you snapped. You heard whispers everywhere and you could tell they did just loud enough so that you did hear them.

_It’s her. It’s her. It’s her._

_You think she’ll attack us?_

_Wonder if her parents are spies._

_I hear her dad only treats Axis supporters._

It was all too much and you darted from the classroom and out the campus. You ran back towards the nearby park but you knew eyes were watching your every move so you hid in an alley. No one dared to bother you there. It was safe for now.

It was after school and he was waiting for you by the gate. You were always punctual but today was different. Since that morning, you had been in an awful mood. You had told him there were eyes on her everywhere and you were uncomfortable until he had said something to relieve you of that stress. Now you weren’t here and it’s been almost 30 min since your original meeting time. He made his way to the diner. He thought maybe you went there early and just simply forgot to tell him. He got there and saw Bucky alone.

“Hey Stevie, where’s (y/n/n)?”

“I don’t know Buck but she was feeling kinda down today. Said something about eyes on her everywhere. You think it’s serious? She mentioned that maybe the war had something to do with it.”

“She may not be wrong Stevie,” he patted the back of Steve’s head, “have you heard about the Japanese?”

“No…”

“Oh Stevie, you gotta read the news more often now. The Japanese are either fighting the war with us or they get sent to the internment camps.”

“What are those?”

“They’re kind like those damn residential areas the Natives live at but worse, I hear.”

“Oh no… do you think-”

“I don’t think so. She’s not Japanese but I wouldn’t be surprised if something or some people started treating her differently than they already do.”

“We gotta do something Buck.”

“I know Stevie, I know.”

Just then, a small crowd formed near the diner. They were shouting.

_Go back home!_

_You’re unwelcome here!_

_Die filth!_

Both boys looked to each other and rushed out of the diner to see a few Asians being bullied and stoned and egged in a corner. In the small group, they saw you hiding your face and trying to protect yourself from what was thrown at you. The few managed to leave, ashamed of who they were. You trudged out of the mess once the crowd died down and they had nothing else to throw or shout. Steve and Bucky ran to you. They shooed off the straggling bullies and took you into their arms. They were silent til they got back to Steve’s apartment. They got you cleaned, dried and tended to the wounds they found from the stones. Steve gave you some tea as you sat on his couch, an empty shell.

“Sweetheart,” Bucky’s voice soothed you a bit. His warm breath near your neck as he hugged you. That’s when you broke down. You cried in his arms. You sobbed until you passed out. Steve had called your parents saying that you had been assaulted and stressed out from today. He insisted that you stay at his place for the night to watch over her. Her parents reluctantly agreed. It was better than having to walk home again.

Bucky carried you into the bedroom. He dried off your face and got himself ready for bed, as did Steve. They slid under the covers, Bucky to your front where you nuzzled into his chest, and Steve to your back as he gently kissed your neck as his hand intertwined with Bucky’s. Bucky and Steve gave each other a chaste kiss before knocking out as well.

The next day, you woke up with a terrible headache and your eyes sore from all the crying last night. You also found yourself in the arms of Bucky and Steve, Steve’s arms wrapped around your waist as Bucky’s over your two forms. You were confused as to why you were in bed with them. You’ve always slept on the couch whenever you ended up sleeping over but this was a first. Bucky felt your movement, “Good morning princess.”

“Bucky, I’m sorry, go back to sleep.”

“Mmm too late, I’m up and I woke up to an angel.”

“No…” you scoffed playfully, “hardly.”

“Doll face, you’re beautiful. Even if…”

You knew what he was referring to, you had puffy eyes this morning. He took your head in his hands and kissed both your eyelids before kissing your forehead. He gave you a gentle smile. His baby blue eyes were entrancing and you couldn’t help but lean forward and catching his lips with yours. As quick as you kissed him, you pulled away and sat up.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry Buck. I didn’t mean to. You’re with Stevie and I- oh no…”

“(y/n/n),” he cooed as he sat up with you and rubbed your back, “it’s fine. I-“

Steve started to stir from the commotion next to him. He slowly sat up, “Buck? (y/n/n)? What’s going on?” he asked groggily. You tackled him and rambled on.

“Gosh Stevie, I’m so, so, so, sorry. I didn’t mean to. It was the heat of the moment. I kissed Bucky and-“

Steve’s lips caught yours and you were astounded. Your eyes widened and shocked that you had just kissed your best friends.

“What…”

“I was gonna say doll, Steve and I, well… we talked about it. We kinda like you. Like _like you_ like you.”

“But you two.”

“But nothing, (y/n/n)” said Steve, “If you want that is. It’ll be your choice. You decide if you want us just the same as we want you. We wouldn’t want it any other way.”

You didn’t know what to say. They were your boys but did you feel the same way? You imagined your life without them. It would devastate you. You couldn’t remember a time when they weren’t there and it was fine.

“You’ll always be there?”

“We promise (y/n/n),” Steve assured you as he stroked your hair, “like we always say, we’re with you ‘til the end of the line.”

“I can’t imagine a life without you guys but would it be okay to take it slow? You guys together is already a big deal and to put me, a person of colour on top of it I-“

“(y/n/n), stop that,” ordered Bucky, “you, me, and Steve. No one else matters but us. Who cares what they think? You are the most wonderful, smart, beautiful, strong lady we’ve ever seen.”

“Even if I’m balling my eyes out?”

“Even then. You can take anything that life throws your way. You made it this far haven’t you?”

“I guess you’re right.”

“That’s our girl.”


	2. You're leaving me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We start the first Cap movie!
> 
> Some dialogue notes:  
> Bold is Bucky  
> Underlining is Reader  
> Normal is Steve  
> I'll only use these when all three of them are in one scene together.
> 
> (y/n/n) = your nickname

**1943**

A few years have passed and the war is still going strong. You and Steve had to stop going to school because of financial problems. You developed the suggested relationship the two boys offered you. You also gained some confidence. As a person of colour, you had to. You became feisty and fought every other person who thought less of you. That was the greatest thing you learnt from your boys. Fortunately, you hadn’t been asked to do anything for the war other than your parents to tend to soldiers wounds at the front lines. They had to leave you in the care of Steve. Steve was no better however. He was getting antsy staying home in Brooklyn. He wanted to join but no one would enlist him. He had numerous ailments not mention a skinny, weak 25-year-old. You and Bucky had time and time again scolded him about it. Including this time…

Steve once again tries enlisting but the doctor had said he couldn’t join with his asthma alone. Disappointed, he settles to watch a cartoon alone but gets mixed up with a guy who was being mouthy during the propaganda preview. Steve is then backed into an alleyway and beaten up by the man before someone stops him.

“Sometimes I think you like getting punched.”

“I had him on the ropes.”

Bucky walks up and picks up the piece of paper, “How many times is this? Oh you’re from Paramus now. You know it’s illegal to lie on the enlistment form. But seriously, Jersey?”

Steve looks up to Bucky and realizes he’s in uniform, “You get your orders?”

“The 107th. Sergeant James Barnes shipping out for England first thing tomorrow.”

Steve shakes his head, “I should be going…”

Bucky smiles and takes him in his side and kisses his head, “You and I have a girl to meet. My last day and I want it to be with you two. Okay?”

“Where are we going?”

“The future,” he stated as he passed him a newspaper.

At the World Fair, otherwise known as the Stark expo, you wait at the entrance. Bucky and Steve would be there any minute and you were excited. You wore a pretty pink dress with white flowers on them, you're done up like them poster gals you see on the posters. Then you saw your boys. Your smile turned flat when you saw that Bucky had come in his uniform and Steve with a bandage near his mouth.

“What in the world happened Stevie?”

“Guy got beat up… again. And he tried to enlist _again_.”

“Stevie!” you hit his arm, “Not again,” you caressed his face as he gave you a pout. You couldn’t be mad at him though, he only wanted to serve his country. You looked to Bucky.

“So Bucky, you got your orders?”

“Yup, my last night with you guys,” he gave you his usual charming smile but you couldn’t help but tear up. You were about to lose one of your boys. You love Steve as much as you did with Bucky but you needed them both.

“Doll, don’t cry. I’ll be careful. As soon as the war is over, I’m going to treat you both to the best date in the world.”

You smiled brightly, trying to be strong for Bucky and Steve.

Some time after Howard Stark’s failed presentation, you and Bucky lost Steve. You soon found him at the enlistment office again. You looked to Bucky and shook your head. Bucky pushed Steve while he was admiring one of the interactive enlistment posters, “Come on, you’re kinda missing the point of a date.” Steve followed and saw you with your hands on your hips.

“You guys go on ahead. I’ll catch up with you.”

“You’re really gonna do this again,”

“Well it’s a fair. I’m gonna try my luck.”

**“As who? Steve from Ohio? They’ll catch you, worse-“**

“-they’ll actually take you.”

“Look I know you guys think I can’t do this-“

The argument overlaps between you three before Steve puts down his foot.

“Bucky, (y/n/n), come on, there are men laying down their lives. I got no right to do any less than them. That’s what you guys don’t understand. This isn’t about me.”

**“Right… ‘cause you got nothing to prove.** ”

You couldn’t take it and left. You couldn’t stand to watch Steve try again. He was always so stubborn. But that’s what you loved about him. You couldn’t fathom to think if he went off into the war too, no matter how unlikely it was. You’d be alone. You tried not to cry in public when you thought of your boys.

A moment later, Bucky found you alone by the statue. You saw Steve behind him turning back into the enlistment office.

“You let him go?”

**“What was I supposed to do? You know him as much as I do. He’s as stubborn as a mule.”**

You sighed. You knew he was right.

**“Come on. You and I are going out for milkshakes. I know how much you hate dancing.”**

You took his hand and went to your diner.

“So…”

“So..?”

Bucky shook his head, “nothing…”

“It’s not nothing. Come on.”

He sighed, “If anything happens to me-“

“Don’t you say that!”

“Just hear me out (y/n). Please.”

You nodded and allowed him to continue.

“If anything happens to me, I want you and Stevie to live a happy life. Grow old together and have kids. Promise me that.”

You tightened your lips. He was basically saying he was going to die. But you couldn’t let him down.

“I… I promise.”

And so, the night ended. He dropped you off at Steve’s place. He slowly cups your face, taking one last look into your eyes.

“I love you (y/n/n).”

“I love you too Bucky.”

You two shared a passionate kiss. The last- like it was the last. You wanted to believe he’d be coming back. You had to. You grabbed onto him for dear life as if begging him not to go. He parted, “Please doll, I gotta go.”

You bit your lower lip, hesitant to let him go, but you did. He dried the forming tears in your eyes and kissed your forehead. You watch him walk down the steps and the down the sidewalk until you couldn’t see him anymore. Bucky had officially left you and Steve for the war.

You turned around, and unlocked the door. It was still dark. You turned on the lights and searched the place before realizing Steve wasn’t home yet. You worried that instant that the government had found out and arrested him for falsified papers. You grabbed your coat again and opened the door to see Steve fumbling in his own jacket to find his key.

“Steve!” you gave him a big hug, “thought you’d gotten arrested when I came home and the lights out.”

“No, no, actually quite the opposite.”

You raised an eyebrow to try and comprehend what he meant by that. He passed you and took off his coat and a piece of paper and looked to you. He had a gleam in his eye and you could only imagine what that means.

“Stevie… did you…?”

“I got in. A scientist named Erskine let me in. ‘said it was for a special project for some sort of special forces. I can’t believe it (y/n/n), I’m going to join…. (y/n/n)?”

Time had stopped for you when you knew. Steve was gonna leave you too. He saw the distraught in your eyes. This couldn’t have been a worse time.

“(y/n/n)?”

“So you’re leaving me too?”

He couldn’t answer that. You left for the bedroom. The bedroom you once shared with Bucky. Now it’d be just you when Steve leaves. You cry in your pillow. All the confidence you gained over the years now gone. You were going to be all alone. Buck doesn’t even know Steve managed to join. After a good while, Steve walks in the room. You don’t turn around to see him; angry you might do something to him. All you do is hear the shuffles of his feet as he gets ready for bed. He doesn’t even bother to go under the covers with you. You feel the bed sink in beside you as he wraps his arms around you. He thinks you’re asleep.

“(y/n)… I know you’re mad. First your parents leave, then Bucky, and well… me. I hope you understand that the war means a whole lot to me as you mean to me and Buck. I love you so much. I don’t what I’d do without you. You’re my other third. Bucky leaving is hard on me too but it gives me all the more reason to join and make sure he’s safe. So that we can come back to you. Please, I hope you can be strong for me and Bucky. I love you so much. It hurts me as well to leave you all alone. I promise to write you every week.”

You feel his kisses to your neck. You wanted to say something but you couldn’t. All you did was lay there. You and him fell asleep together one last time.

You woke up to silence. Not even the light breathing of Steve’s. Just sunlight and the radiator going off. You sat up and saw that he’d left something behind. You opened it up and saw that he took the time to draw your sleeping form. You tore up again but not so much as you did the night before. You made a promise though. To be strong for Steve and Bucky. They were fighting for America. For you. So your day started. It was the quietest it’s been. At this point, you’d still be in bed with your two boys and they’d be wrestling you just to end up cuddling with you. After, you’d enjoy your coffees together while listening to your guys’ favourite song, All I Do Is Dream Of You. That’s all you’re ever gonna do. Dream about your boys and how much you need them by your side; to just stay in all day; go get milkshakes. All of it was behind you. So you go as planned. You weren’t about to stay indoors and mope all day. You had a job and still had to make what rent you need to pay. Luckily your landlady eased up and said you’d only have to pay her your half since Steve is off at the war. You went to work and you got used to glares as you stepped into the factory. Hours went by and then you went home. Your next few days were like this. This was your new reality.

It hadn’t been a week yet before you heard a knock on your door. You didn’t exactly have friends anymore since the war started. Maybe the army gave up on Steve and he came back and just lost his key. You slowly opened the door with the chain still on and peeked through. It was a man in black. He had a scar across his face.

“M-may I help you?”

All he did was smirk and kick in the door making you fly backwards and on your back. He had two associates with them and before you knew it, a cloth was over your face and then you knocked out.


	3. Join

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader is captured and we find out what Hydra wants with her.

**At Camp Lehigh**

Steve made it. He breathed in the camp grounds. He was finally going to serve his country. He lined up with his squadron for basic training when a lady came forward.

“Recruits attention. Gentlemen, I’m Agent Carter. I supervise all operations within this division.”

“What’s with the accent Queen Victoria,” mocked a fellow soldier, “thought I was signing up for the US army.”

“What’s your name soldier?”

“Gilmore Hodge your majesty.”

“Step forward Hodge.” He did with a smirk on his face. “Put your right foot forward.” He complies again.

“Hm, we gonna wrestle?”

Steve watches on as he’s given a clipboard of information to fill out.

Hodge continues, “’cause I got a few moves I know you’ll like,” he flirts while he distastefully winks at Agent Carter. Then, she punches him, right in the kisser. Steve smiles as he goes down and admires Agent Carter for being so strong willed.

“Agent Carter!” groans a gruff voice from behind her.

“Colonel Philips.” He walks up to her and the men, “I can see you are breaking in the candidates. That’s good.” He tells Hodge to get back in line.

“General Patton has said, ‘wars are fought with weapons but they are won by men.’ We are going to win this war because we have the best… men.” He had almost messed up his speech just looking at Steve’s tiny form, “And because they are gonna get better. _Much_ better.” Then the training begins. Throughout the whole time, Hodge had tried to mess it up for Steve, causing him to struggle. Then it came to their camp run. Sergeant Michael Duffy halted them at the flagpole. He told them that whoever gets the flag can ride with Agent Carter. Steve, being out breath waited for the rest of the guys to be done with fighting and climbing up the flagpole. Sergeant stopped them and told them to get back in line. Not following orders, Steve walked up to the pole and simply dismantled it from the bottom, letting the pole drop and the flag was easy pickings. He gave the flag to Sergeant Duffy, “Thank you, sir,” hopped in the back of the jeep and rode off with Agent Carter.

Back at the base camp, while doing jumping jacks, Colonel Philips and Dr. Erksine were discussing about Steve.

“Look at that, he’s making me cry.”

“I am looking for qualities beyond the physical.”

“Do you know how long it took to set up this project and all the groveling I had to do in front of Senator what’s-his-face committee?”

“Ah, I know, yes, I’m well aware of your efforts.”

“Then throw me a bone. Hodge passed every test and re-test we gave him. He’s big, he’s fast, he obeys orders, he’s a soldier.”

“He’s a bully.”

“You don’t win wars with niceness doctor.” Philips walks over to the back of the truck and picks up a dummy grenade, “You win wars with guts.” He tosses the grenade and yells, “GRENADE!” All the men scattered but Steve jumps right on top of it.

“Get away! Get back!” Steve warns. They all waited some moments until nothing actually happens. Troops relieved and Steve sat up and questioned, “Is this a test?”

Philips looks back at Erskine and grunts, “He’s still skinny,” and walks away.

At the end of the day, Erskine met Steve in his tent and gave him a pep talk about the procedure for the next day. Afterwards, Steve took a few minutes to write a letter to you.

_My dear (y/n/n),_

_I’ve made it. Farther you could imagine. That doctor I told you about? His name is Dr. Erskine and he chose me to apart of the special procedure he designed. I’m scared but excited. I wonder what they’ll do. Oh and there’s this lady, Agent Carter. She reminds me of you a bit. I know you’ve grown to be more independent and courageous but she punched a private right in the kisser. I’m sure you would’ve liked to see._

_I miss you so much. Soon, I’ll find Bucky and we can both write letters to you. I gotta get some rest now but I’ll see you as soon once the war is over._

_I love you so much._

_Yours truly,_

_Steve_

He sealed it and ran straight to the post office on base. He gave it one last kiss and went back to his tent and slept. He had a long day ahead of him.

**At an unknown secret base**

You woke up with another headache. You were strapped down in a seat. There were no windows, just four concrete walls. The only source of light was the bulb above you. You were scared out of your mind. Was it the government? Did they declare for all Asians to be relocated at those internment camps? No, society may not be pretty now, but the government knew the rights of people. They wouldn’t just take people away. Then you heard the door behind you open.

“Fraulein. I am Doctor Arnim Zola.”

“Y-you’re German? Nazi?”

“Swiss actually but yes Nazi. I work for a very special field. Do you know of Hydra, Fraulein?”

“N-no…”

“It’s the Nazi Science Research division.”

“W-why do you n-n-need me doctor?”

“Your father and mother are of the medical field yes?” he read from a clipboard.

“…”

“Answer me Fraulein.”

“Y-yes…”

“And of you?”

“I’m not…”

“I know you’re not. You were an art student. Pottery. You were always very skilled at making… knives?”

“P-pottery knives. Nothing special.”

“Hm… no but you will learn to wield one.”

“Excuse me?”

“Ever felt angry Fraulein? Ever had the urge for revenge?”

“N-never.”

He wasn’t interested in your half-assed answers anymore. He retrieved a box from an agent and dumped the contents on the ground in front of her.

“Do you recognize these?” It was your knives. Not your puny pottery knives, no, your _knives_. Tactical knives, throwing knives, blades, you name it. It was a hobby.

“From what I’ve learned, you know martial arts. Reached black belt, basically at mentor status, in various arts. Taekwondo, Karate, Kung Fu, other martial arts not formally taught in classes but from books alone. Seems like you’re a genius.”

You didn’t answer. Your fear disappeared and you were now actively thinking of a way out.

“Oh? A change of demeanour? Now why is that?”

“I figured I stay strong. Go back home, to wait for my family, wait for my lover. My training would be useless if I was always scared.”

“Hm… As I thought, all you need is a little push to get you all fired up.”

“What do you want?”

“Join Hydra.”

“Really? You think because of my credentials and hobbies you think I’m a good candidate? You guys are funny. Nazis are weird.”

“True, our grounds are a bit weak to recruit you, but with training, I think we can make you an asset yet.”

“Why would I want to join the enemy?” you scoffed.

“Simple Fraulein, you wouldn’t want your parents to suffer now, would you?”

“Wha-What do you mean?”

“They didn’t tell you? They work for us. Your father is a leading scientist in recreating the super soldier serum. Your mother, a renowned surgeon in her own right. ‘hands of God’ they say.”

“You’re wrong, they work on the front lines for the army.”

“Did, Fraulein, keyword _‘did’_. It was easy of course, they didn’t want to see their precious daughter suffer because of them. They’re weak. Easy to manipulate. You,” he grabs your chin and brings you close to his face, “though, are a strong-willed lady. Like I said, you just need a push.”

You spat in his face. “Gah! Take her away! We begin this process tomorrow. We will break you Fraulein. You will be one of Hydra’s greatest assets.”

A couple men dragged you from the chair and into a holding cell. Once again, four concrete walls and bulb over your head. The only thing they gave you was a mattress and a toilet. You looked around, taking it in. You obviously didn’t want to be here. You just wished you had Bucky and Steve with you. What would they tell you?

_You can take whatever life throws your way._

You’re just gonna have to brave it out. Do your best, create that routine, persevere whatever torture they plan to do to you.

_Be strong, (y/n)_ you thought.

**The next day**

You were woken up. A soldier followed by two others ordered you to eat. In an hour, you were to be hauled off to wherever. They were going to start a process; one you knew you weren’t going to like. The food looked disgusting but you ate anyways. You weren’t going to die because you were stubborn. You needed to find a way out of this god forsaken place.

Not too long after, they led you to a lab of some sort. There was a chair. It was modified with a contraption overhead. You didn’t know what to make of it.

“Beautiful isn’t it, Fraulein.”

“I don’t know if I would-“ _SLAP!_

“Insolent girl! One more back talk out of you and you will suffer more than twice a day!”

You glared back as soldiers held you. You were ready to pounce but you couldn’t move.

“I apologize Fraulein. I shouldn’t have yelled but you will soon see it is rewarding to comply.”

“Eat. Shit.” You emphasized your distaste for him and he order the soldiers to drag you to the chair. You twist and turn trying to get out of their grip but they successfully strap you down. You growl harshly as you keep glaring at the doctor.

“Now unfortunately, as much as I want to see you suffer, I have another asset to prepare for. Maybe he won’t be as annoying as you are but you Americans are always so stubborn.” An Asian man came through the door, “This is Dr. Takamura. He will be supervising the project as well as co-supervising the East Asian division of Hydra.”

“And you tell me this why?”

“Because you will comply Fraulein!” he grabbed your hair.

“…never.”

He released you and fixed his coat in a posh manner, “Dr. Takamura, I will take my leave,” he huffed. He left the room.

_(in Japanese)_

_“Do you know Japanese child?”_

_“A little. I was bored… asshole.”_

_“tsk tsk tsk. None of that child. Us, Japanese are a proud people. Hydra has just helped us gain status in the world.”_

_“What status? As far as I know, you guys are following the Nazis. Doesn’t sound like you have status.”_

His face had no expression. He nodded to the soldiers, they unstrapped you and laid you on the ground in a T position.

_“What the fuck are you doing?”_

_“You need discipline. I intend to break you down my way. I’m not fond of Dr. Zola’s methods. I prefer my own. Our Asian cultures are very similar in which physical punishment is well deserved to those who don’t comply.”_

_“Ha, you guys are so annoying, all you guys say is ‘comply this, comply that’. You guys sound like robots.”_

Soldiers ripped your shirt and left your back bare. Then you heard something. It sounded like a _THWIP!_ You cried out. You couldn’t form words. _THWIP!_ The whip dug into your skin. You can feel something wet drip already. What seemed like hours was only 15 minutes and they quickly strapped you back on the chair. Your energy was completely drained but you had enough for one snarkier comment.

_“I thought you didn’t like Dr. Zola’s methods.”_

_“I don’t, not his brash way of convincing. This chair, however, I’ve seen in action. It has been proved useful.”_

He switched something on and the overhead contraption fixated over your head while a guard was shoved into your mouth. You heard whirring and soon electric shocks bit your body. You screamed like you haven’t screamed before. You also heard words. They were faint but they could be heard.

_yume, chie, nijuuichi, nendo, yuuki, kyuu, hi, tayouna, sainou, fuyu_

_(dream,_ _wisdom, twenty one, clay, courage, nine, fire, versatile, talent, winter)_

He repeated those words ten times before the buzzing stopped. You gasped for air as the contraption released you. He repeated them once more while you got unstrapped. Then he finished.

_“Asset?”_

_“_ Fuck… you….”

The doctor grunted and the soldiers whisked you away back into your cell. You were ungraciously thrown unto the grown as you curled up trying to relieve yourself of the excruciating pain that surged through your body still. Tomorrow was going to be another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know... the reason Hydra took Reader is a bit weird.


	4. Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the dialogue sections aren't too confusing.
> 
> Bold = Bucky  
> Normal = Steve  
> Underline = Reader  
> Unfortunately i haven't thought of a way to distinguish other characters. Sorry again if it's all confusing.
> 
> Don't forget! There are lines here that come from the movie. All of those lines along with the Cap characters belong to Marvel and Marvel Studios.

**A few weeks later…**

The 107th got captured. They had been battling against the Wehrmacht in Azzano when HYDRA obliterated the German soldiers with high tech weapons and taking the Americans as prisoners. Hydra put them to hard labour in their Austrian Weapons Facility.

Inside, Bucky had contracted pneumonia. He had been beaten for the lack of work he’d provided for HYDRA to make the Valkyrie, their monstrous plane. Arnim Zola found it fit that their Sergeant be made an example for his division, especially when he was disadvantaged because of his illness. He was taken into isolation.

“Sergeant Barnes.”

“W-who?” he said weakly.

“I am Arnim Zola. I am a doctor for Hydra. You are ill.”

Bucky couldn’t help but cough.

“I heard of your efforts and I admire you Sergeant. I believe you will be a fine asset. However, pneumonia is a terrible thing to catch. I will go easy on you.”

Bucky couldn’t stay awake. The pneumonia was draining his energy. He felt something prick him in his arm and then bright lights hit his eyes. Zola and company checked him over making sure that he was still fit for procedure. It wasn’t much but he was thrown into a cell where he could sleep off the illness. Then he was back in the lab…

**A camp somewhere in Italy**

Steve had just finished a terrible show for some soldiers who only wanted to see them poster dames dance. Steve hid under some shelter and started to draw trying to occupy himself other than disappointment in himself. He was completely shut down after information from back in Brooklyn. Someone had broken into his place, their place, the place where you were staying at. Someone had taken you for God knows what and he wasn’t there to protect you. He felt useless. He felt like a puppet. Like…

“Hello Steve,” Peggy called out. Yes, she’s now Peggy after Steve had gotten to know her a bit more.

“Hi…” he turned around surprised to see her, “what are you doing here?”

“Officially I’m not here at all. That was quite a performance.”

“Yeah uh… I had to improvise a little bit. Crowds I’m used to are a little more… uh… twelve.”

“I understand you are America’s new hope.”

“Bond sales take a 10% bump in every state I visit.”

“Is that Senator Brandt I hear?”

“At least he’s got me doing this. Philips would have me stuck in a lab.”

“And these are your only two options? A lab rat or dancing monkey? You were meant for more than this you know.”

Steve sighed.

“What?”

“You know for the longest time I dreamed about… coming overseas and being on the front lines, serving my country… finally got everything I wanted--almost… everything I wanted. And I’m wearing tights.”

“Almost?”

“Yeah…” Steve flips through his sketchbook and finds the best drawing of you and shows Peggy.

“She’s very beautiful. Who is she?”

“My girlfriend. Actually, can I tell you a secret?”

“You can trust me,” she assured him, dropping a hand on his shoulder for comfort.

“I also have a boyfriend.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah. He’s serving the 107th right now.”

“Oh… Steve… I need to tell you then.”

“What?” His eyes widened.

“The men here, they’re all from the remaining 107th.”

“Remaining?”

He rushed to the tent where he saw Philips writing letters, most likely the ones where you send ones to the next of kin.

“Colonel Philips!”

“Well if it isn’t the star spangled man with a plan. What is your plan today?”

“I need the casualty list from Azzano.”

“You don’t get to give me orders son.”

“I just need one name. Sergeant James Barnes from the 107th.”

Philips looked to Peggy, “you and I are gonna have a conversation later that you won’t enjoy.”

“Please tell me he’s alive sir, B-A-R-“

“I can spell.”

He told Steve that the name sounded familiar and Steve could only sigh. He couldn’t have lost his best man. He already lost you. He couldn’t lose him too. He wondered about the others. Philips simply put that they will not organize a rescue mission and that he doesn’t expect for Steve to understand that. He took one good look at the map and he knew what he had to do. He rushed out to the show tent and gathered his things including his shield and a helmet from one of the chorus girls. Peggy quickly followed after him.

“What do you plan to do, walk to Austria?”

“If that’s what it takes.”

“You heard the Colonel, your boyfriend is most likely dead.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Even so, he’s devising a strategy that-“

“By the time he’s done that, it’ll be too late.” He was all packed and started to load the car up.

“Steve!”

“You told me you thought I was meant for more than this. Did you mean that?”

“Every word.”

“Then you gotta let me go.”

“I can do more than that.”

**(y/n) POV**

They’ve had you at another session of pure torture just yesterday. You don’t think you’ve had the time to think of a plan to get out. Every time after, they throw you back down in your cell and you would be a quivering mess that always slept from exhaustion. Though, they had given you a day (or was it two?) to rest. _Even the body has limits_ , you remembered the doc’s words. He was level headed, to an extent. You stared at the ceiling, imagining and mapping out what you know of the place you were kept at. You also wondered if anyone would come for you at all.

**Bucky POV**

It felt like forever. They’ve did shit to my body, injections, beatings, you name it. The only thing keeping me sane is repeating my military details and the thought of (y/n) and Stevie. God I hope they’re okay. At least I know they have each other. They left me strapped here on this gurney. I think something is happening but I can’t move. I hear shouting.

**(y/n) POV**

Was that shouting? You mustered up the strength to hear what’s going on through the door. You grabbed the handle and realized it was unlocked. Hydra was truly idiotic to leave it unlocked. But what could you do? You left obviously. You went down the corridor and followed the noise. It could be the way out.

**Steve POV**

Okay, I got the 107th out. Now to find Bucky. They said he was held in isolation. I jogged through the corridors and saw a small man rush out from a room. I ran after him but I heard muttering. Was that? Oh my gosh. It’s Bucky.

“Bucky? Oh my God.”

“Is that…”

“It’s me. It’s Steve.”

“Steve?”

“Come on.”

“Steve.”

“I thought you were dead.”

“I thought you were smaller. I thought you were with (y/n)! Why are you here?”

“I’ll explain that after.”

“What happened to you?”

“I joined the Army.”

“Did it hurt?”

“A little.”

“Is it permanent?”

“So far.” I saw a shadow up ahead. Bucky and I looked to each other and followed it. I yelled after it, “Hey stop!”

**(y/n) POV**

You froze. You raised my arms in the air.

“Turn around,” he ordered. He spoke English? It wasn’t an enemy accent. You slowly turned to see…

“Bucky?”

**“Doll?”**

“Steve is that you?”

“(y/n)? What in the- What are you doing here?”

**“And don’t say you joined the Army.”**

“I-uh…”

“Enough guys, first things first, we gotta go.”

You all nodded and made your way up. The place was about to blow. You guys found Arnim Zola, Takamura, and some other man. He looked like some big Nazi cheese.

“Captain America! How exciting! I’m a great fan of your films. So Dr. Erskine managed I after all. Not exactly an improvement, but still impressive.”

Steve punches the guy in the face. You held on to Bucky, trying to find any more strength to even stand.

“You’ve got no idea.”

“Haven’t I?” The big cheese throws a punch but Steve manages to block it with his shield. Zola had managed to separate the bridge.

“No matter what lies Erskine told you, you see I was his greatest success!”

He started to peel off the skin on his face. You found it horrid and hid in Bucky’s shoulder.

**“You don’t have one of those, do you?”**

You peek and see the man with a Red Skull. Were they gonna turn you into that? You want to throw up.

“You are deluded Captain. You pretend to be a simple soldier, but in reality you are just afraid to admit that we have left humanity behind. Unlike you, I embrace it proudly. Without fear!”

“Then how come you’re running?”

Zola and ‘Red Skull’ left and you followed Steve and Bucky up. The place was really about to blow. Fire filled the bottom and you didn’t realize you were holding your breath.

“Let’s go, cross with Bucky. I’ll follow,” Steve told you.

You made it across but the beam fell and Steve had no way of crossing.

**“Gotta be a rope or something.”**

“Just go! Get out of here!”

“No! Not without you!”

Steve couldn’t let you guys down. So he bent the metal wide enough so he could jump. He backed up and made a run for it. He jumped.

**Army camp**

Philips has been dictating a letter stating that Steve had gone MIA. Peggy reports back to him saying the aerial search was unsuccessful. They argue about the situation. Peggy could barely believe that Steve was gone but she did not regret her actions one bit. She knew Steve wanted to do more. She’s already seen him in action. Then there was commotion. Peggy and Philips ran outside to see Steve with the rest of the 107th. Steve walked up to the Colonel.

“I’d like to surrender myself for disciplinary action.”

“That won’t be necessary.”

“Yes, sir.”

The Colonel walks away and Peggy takes his place, “You’re late.”

“Couldn’t call my ride,” he says as he holds up a broken transponder.

“Hey! Let’s hear it for Captain America!” yells Bucky and the rest of the crew cheer in tandem. You saw your two boys. You were finally with them. Just like your dreams told you.

You returned to Steve’s tent where the boys insisted they tend to whatever wounds you had. You all wanted some alone time.

**“Okay guys, spill.”**

You and Steve looked to each other then he looked back to Bucky.

“Me first. As you can see, I joined the Army. I had to Buck. You two knew that. Dr. Erskine, the scientist who got me in, he used a serum.”

He said serum and you looked to Bucky. He had a sense of realization too. You let Steve continue.

“It made me like this. I was pretty much a dancing monkey but when I heard that the 107th was killed or captured, I had to know if you were alive Bucky.”

Bucky simply nodded and came up front of Steve. He took his neck and gave have a reassuring kiss, **“I wouldn’t have it any other way punk.”**

“You’re hot.”

**“Gee thanks.”**

“Jerk," Steve smiled, "I meant you have a fever.”

 **“Oh… yeah, I guess I’m still recovering from pneumonia. I’m fine though. It’s been a few days,”** he sighed, **“We were fighting the Germans when a giant tank came and totally pulverized the troops before the 107th got held captive. Next thing you know, I’m in isolation and they were doing stuff to me. I don’t remember but it was just bright lights and me muttering my military details... and thinking of you guys.”**

 _They did that to Bucky? What in the world was Hydra?_ _They’re maniacs_ , you thought.

They looked to you. Steve still tended to your wounds on your back.

“Doll, what happened? In Brooklyn? Why’d they take you here?”

You shifted in your spot.

“It’s silly really. On their part.”

**“What do you mean? Don’t joke, this is serious. Look at what they did to you!”**

“I know, Buck, but… I had to stay strong for you guys.”

“But why did they take you?”

“…my… parents. They work for Hydra.”

**“But I saw them (y/n). I greeted them. I even assured that you would be safe with Stevie.”**

“Turns out they're also held captive. Dad had re-worked on the serum, and my mom is a head nurse.”

“Babygirl…” Steve kissed the top of your head as he finished up the bandages.

“Guys? Do remember what hobbies I liked to have?”

“Yeah. Those darn knives. I don’t know why you kept making them.”

“It was really just a hobby. My parents thought martial arts would help me but with how everything was, they urged me not to use it all even when people started stoning the Asians. I guess they were scared that we turned out to be enemy sympathizers and they’d have us thrown into those internment camps.”

**“Even then,”**

“I don’t know. Like I said, it was ridiculous on Hydra’s part. But they blackmailed me. ‘said if I didn’t comply, they would do something terrible with them. I couldn’t let that happen.”

“You didn’t-“

“Of course not! Why would I?!” Steve almost accused you of being… an enemy!

 **“No of course not, Stevie. Angel, so what happened?”** Bucky hushed.

“Well it wasn’t Zola in charge of me. Another doc named Takamura. Guess since I am Asian, I could be of use to the East Asian division. Zola did say something about another asset, I'm not sure about that though.”

You had just explained to your boys the reason why you were there. Now it's all suffocating. Your head kind of hung on Steve’s accusation (or what would’ve seemed like it) too.

“I need to breathe. I’ll be outside,” You stepped out. You were free but what they did to you was scary to think about. Those words rang in your head. It buzzed but it didn’t do anything as when the doc had said them. You were worried. More and more, those words would send a course through your veins. Your mind would warp into something dull until remembering Steve and Bucky’s voice pulled you out of it. That was the only thing keeping you alive.

“Doll?” Steve startled you.

“Oh… Steve.”

“Can we talk?” You nodded. There was an awkward silence between you. “I uh… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have even thought about you betraying us like that You could never. You may have felt like an alien at home but… ah jeez. I’m already screwing up the apology. (y/n)-“

You jumped and wrapped your arms around his neck and gave him a deep kiss.

“Steve. I could never be mad at you but it was hurtful that you would think that.”

“I’m really sorry doll,” he hugged you tightly, “I can’t ever lose you.”

“I know. I can never lose you or Bucky either.”

**“Hey guys, I hear the bar sells milkshakes. You wanna go?”**

You smiled and dragged Steve and you all rushed off to the bar.

**At the bar**

“Fellas, meet (y/n). My-Our best gal,” Steve introduced you to what they now call themselves the ‘Howling Commandos’.

“Must be sad for the dames,” Dugan started, “any of them would’ve been lucky to date your boys but you’re so lucky to have been taken by them.”

You blushed. You didn’t think they’d be so… accepting. You with any of the guys would be a disaster, let alone a poly relationship. You had a blast talking to all of them. You, Bucky, and Steve excused yourselves and sat the bar and enjoy the milkshakes.

**“See? I told you. They’re all idiots.”**

“How about you? You ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death?”

 **“Hell, no. That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight. I’m** **following him. But you’re keeping the outfit, right?”**

“You know what? It’s kind of growing on me.”

That’s when Agent Carter stepped in and the bar went quiet. She wore a beautiful red dress and looked exquisite compared to what rags you were wearing.

“Agent Carter?”

“Howard has some equipment for you to try. Tomorrow morning?”

“Sounds good.”

“and Miss (l/n)? I believe Colonel Philips would like to talk to you. About what happened.”

“Oh, uh, sure…”

“I see your top squad is prepping for duty.”

**“You don’t like music?”**

“I do, actually. I might even, when this is all over, go dancing.”

“Hm, I bet the one of the guys would dance with you.”

“How about you, miss? You don’t like dancing?”

“Actually, no, but I do enjoy the music.”

Peggy smiled at you and pulled you aside.

“You okay?”

“I… uh… yeah…” you were embarrassed to even think about being jealous. All this time, Steve was around her, not once did he make a move, especially when he looks like _that_.

“You’re overthinking. Steve and Bucky love you.”

“Wha-?”

“I can see it. The way you look at them? You’re very lucky and they are lucky to have you. I’ll admit I had a crush on Steve but I saw the sketchbook. He has a ton of drawings of you. He was devastated when he told me that you were gone.”

“He told you that?”

“On the plane to Austria. Apparently, his letter couldn’t be sent because your place was broken into when they captured you.”

“Oh…” that made you blush.

“You seem like an amazing woman Miss (l/n).”

“(y/n) please. Call me (y/n).”

“Peggy. If you’d like, we could use someone like you.”

“Me? How?”

“I can tell you’re a strong woman. No matter what life throws at you, you’ll throw it right back.”

“You sound like them.”

“And they’re right.”

You walked back with her and Steve and Bucky wrapped an arm around your waist.

“0800, Captain, (y/n)," and Peggy walks away.

They raised an eyebrow, “(y/n)?” they asked.

“We were just talking.”


	5. Together Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [SEX SCENE]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay it might get more confusing but I'm going to remind you again:
> 
> Bold = Bucky  
> Normal = Steve  
> Underline = Reader
> 
> You can skip this chapter if you're not interested in the sexy times

**Back at Steve’s Tent**

You all went back to Steve’s tent and saw that he cot was replace by a queen sized bed.

“What in the world?”

“I got Howard to replace it since we’d all be together.”

**“You know it’s not practical-“**

“It’s fine. Howard said he’d also personally lug it around if necessary.”

**“If I didn’t know any better, sounds like you’re sweet on him.”**

“Am not!”

“He’s joking Stevie.”

**“Well,”** Bucky jumped onto the mattress, **“shall we break it in?”**

“Buck…”

**“Oh come on punk,”** he tugged on his sleeve and Steve fell on top of him. They kissed passionately until they realized you were being left out.

“Doll…”

Steve got off of Bucky and patted his hand in between them. You go to that spot and they pulled you down and quickly devoured your neck. You were touch starved. The heat between them was unimaginable.

“Bucky, Steve…”

**“Yes darling?”**

“We’ll be gentle. We haven’t forgotten your wounds.”

“I… uh… no. I mean. It’s my first time,” you were already out of breath and they haven’t even kissed you yet.

**“Doll, do you trust us?”**

“Y-yes…” Bucky’s hand cupped your breast and his mouth on your neck.

**“Then let it happen.”**

Bucky was happy to lead. Steve knew he liked to. After all, he topped all this time. Their hands roamed your body and them, each other. Your lips on theirs. It was harmony in motion. Piece by piece, clothes were ripped off. Steve kissed your wounds lightly as if something to worship.

“I’m sorry babygirl. I should’ve stayed home. I should’ve protected you.”

“It’s okay Stevie, baby, you had a purpose.” He looked up to you with almost teary eyes. “I’m not all upset that I get to see you like this though.” You winked and he blushed furiously.

**“Yeah, my Stevie is all beefed up now. It kinda makes me wanna…”** Bucky cuts himself off and kisses him and grabs Steve’s crotch. He could feel how big he was through his boxers.

“Bucky…”

**“Tell you what Stevie, you can put it in this time. I wanna know how strong you are. And you, missy, on your back. I’m gonna give you one helluva time.”**

You did as you were told. Bucky had already yanked your panties off, as well as his, and he could smell how sweet you were. Steve watches on as he takes off his own boxers and tugs on himself. Bucky intertwined his hands with yours as you felt his breath over your heat.

**“Eager are we?”** You looked down to see his tongue lightly lick your folds and you tried to hold back your voice. **“You taste amazing sweetheart. Stevie, do you remember what I do to you before I fuck you?”**

“Y-yeah?” Steve stammered at the use of profanity.

**“Start with on finger, then go on to two. I trust you.”** He continued to eat you out while Stevie slicked his fingers with his own spit and inserted one finger in Bucky. Bucky groaned and it brought you shivers.

“Fuck Bucky, you’re so tight.”

**“mm I know. I can’t imagine how you’re gonna feel inside Stevie.”** He kept licking your clit until he inserted his own finger inside you, **“you’re tight too baby. You’re gonna love us.”**

“I already do Buck-o.”

**“I know,”** he gave you a mischievous grin. He continued and was taking his sweet time. Stevie had already inserted two fingers in him and was just about impatient to fuck his lovers.

**“Stevie, I’m ready,”** Bucky panted.

“O-okay…”

**“Go slow, darling.”**

Steve lined himself up and slowly pushed. Bucky momentarily stopped from you as he took Steve. Finally, after some slow moments, Steve was fully inside Bucky.

“Oh God, Bucky…”

**“Y-yeah punk. Oh shit it feels good. Give me a sec.”**

You took the chance to kiss Bucky as he adjusted. You could taste yourself on his lips.

**“You like how you taste?”** You shyly nodded. **“Okay, you can move now Stevie. Missy, get back, I’m not done with you.”**

Steve pulled back and then thrust forward. It was slow but once Steve got used to it, he sped little but little. Moans all around but quiet enough so that no one outside the tent could hear.

“Bucky, I’m close!” groaned Steve as he chased his released.

**“Ugh… m-me too. So good Steve. I think Angel is also close. Let go honey.”**

You came first. Your first orgasm was blissful, like a wanton need. It washed over you as your whole body froze. Steve followed after watching you cave under Bucky’s tongue alone. He spilled into Bucky. Bucky came as well as soon Steve filled him up. He came all over the sheets.

“Fuck Bucky,” you soon came down from your high as Bucky came up to kiss you once more. Steve pulled out and flopped next to you, taking his turn to kiss you. Bucky took his turn with kissing Steve then laid beside you for a short, but needed, break.

**“What do you think, doll?”**

“That was amazing Buck!”

**“Glad you liked it, ‘cause it’s your turn. Stevie? Is it okay if…”**

“Yeah punk. I already got to take your virginity. Plus, you have more experience in…”

**“Say it, punk. You can curse in front of her.”**

“…in fucking.”

**“That’s my boy. Now lay back and help (y/n/n) getting you hard again. You get to suck me.”**

Steve gestured to move you in between his legs. You laid on your stomach waiting for instruction from Steve.

“Go slow so you can get the hang of it. Just lick it first.”

“Yes, Captain.” His dick twitched in front of you.

**“Oh ho, Stevie likey huh. Do it again babygirl.”**

You licked lightly, “Like this Captain?” his dick twitched again. Oh you were gonna have fun.

It only took a few more ‘Captains’ to get Stevie back up.

“God damn doll. You sure you’re not a virgin? Who taught you how to suck so well?”

You chuckled and resumed your work.

**“Stevie,”** Bucky sang, **“get to work.”** Bucky tugged on Steve’s hair and dragged his head down onto his shaft. You take note that Bucky likes it rough.

Not too long later, Bucky shifted.

**“Angel, on your back. You can blow him while he kneels.”**

You two did as you're told. You held on to Steve’s hand as you saw Bucky prep you. He slid two fingers like he did earlier and you didn’t feel so full but you could yourself stretch around him.

**“Ready?”**

“Yes,”

**“Yes what?”**

You thought for a second, “Yes, sir.”

**“Good girl,”** his eyes darkened. He lined himself up and you can feel him stretch you out.

“You tell us if you need to stop okay?”

“Y-yes, sir.”

“Hold on tight if you need to baby.”

Bucky pushed in very slowly. You shut your eyes to the pain but it soon felt like pleasure as soon as he bottomed out.

**“Doll? Are you okay? Does it hurt?”**

“A little… but I’m okay.”

“That’s our girl.”

**“Fuck baby, Steve, you’re gonna love her pussy so much. It feels like heaven!”**

“I’m sure it does, come ‘ere,” Steve grabbed Bucky and started to kiss him. You wanted to make Steve feel better too so you began to suck on him.

**“Babygirl, I’m gonna move now.”**

You felt him and you couldn’t help but moan on Steve’s cock. Bucky was so deep inside you, he was hitting a certain spot every time he fucked you. You resumed sucking Steve off. You felt Bucky move faster and harder, desperate for his release.

**“Oh baby… I’m fucking close. I’m gonna have to pull out soon.”**

“Me too, sir, I wanna cum.”

**“Cum angel. Cum over my cock. I wanna see you with both of our cum on your body.”**

You tightened as your second orgasm once again took over. You bit your bottom lip in ecstasy. Bucky fucked you a few more times before pulling out and cumming all over your stomach. Steve came not too long after after jerking off and watching the two of you come undone. The two took a moment before grabbing a damp towel and wiping you down. They gently helped you with dressing you so you were decent. All your energy was drained and you quickly tucked yourself in to Steve’s chest. You wanted to get used to the new him. Bucky played with your hair until you slept. The two kiss the crown of your head. You were already knocked out.

**“Good night, doll.”**

“Sweet dreams, princess.”

**“Good night, punk.”**

“Good night, jerk.”


	6. Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something has happened to Reader!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're midway of the First Avenger!

**The next day**

Steve’s clock alarm went off and you groaned. You wanted to be in bed with your two knuckleheads but you knew you’d get in trouble as well as Steve if you two didn’t show up for your appointments.

“Princess,” Steve whispered, “rise and shine. We gotta get ready.”

“Mmm… Stevieee,” you whined.

“I know. The faster we do this, the faster we can come back here and cuddle some more.”

“Fine,” you huffed.

“Holy shit you two, go! You two can never whisper quiet enough.” Bucky whined as he took his pillow to cover his ears. You and Steve were always the early worms.

You two laughed and quickly got ready. You wore one of the white shirts that Peggy had given you and some smaller cargo pants and boots. They weren’t expecting you so you didn’t mind the clothes they provided. You two met up with Peggy. She led you to outside of Philips’ office and she and Steve parted ways. You saw a soldier there.

“Um… sorry, excuse me?”

“Oh? You’re Captain Rogers’ and Sergeant Barnes’ girl, right?”

“Uh, yes. How long will Colonel Philips be? I have a meeting with him.”

“He just started so it might be a while, ma’am.”

“Hm… I’ll just sit around I guess.”

The soldier nods and returns to his work. Only a few minutes passed but it felt like centuries sitting.

“You look bored. It hasn’t been 5 minutes,” he chuckled.

“Could you blame me? Steve is getting some stuff done while I’m just… here.”

“Well, I’m not doing much. We can talk if you like?”

“Sure!”

It was a whole hour before Bucky and Steve caught you laughing with the soldier. Bucky, who was quick to be jealous, stomped over before Steve tried to stop him.

“Buck, no, oh jeez.”

“Doll!”

“Bucky! What are you doing here?”

“Thought I’d catch up with you. I don’t have much to do anyways. Who’s this?” he growls as he tucked you in his side.

“Oh this is Terry. He’s… uh.. a Corporal?” Terry nodded happy that you remembered.

“Nice to meet you pal,” Bucky hissed, “don’t you got some work to do?”

Terry saw the possessive look in Bucky’s eye and quickly made his niceties and went back to what little work he had. Bucky pulled you back with Steve.

“Hey, jerk, what was that?”

“Yeah Buck, you okay?”

“I didn’t like you with him. He was all buddy-buddy with you. I-“ you smacked him on the arm.

“What’s wrong with you? I never took you to be a jealous type.”

“Ow! I’m just saying-“

“About what? I can’t make friends?”

“You’re friends with Pegs aren’t ya?”

“So I can only make female friends?”

“What? N-no! I mean… ugh…”

“Miss (l/n)!” you heard Philips call you, “Rogers, Barnes. Would like to join us too?” You walked away. You were angry at Bucky. You’ve never experienced his jealous side before. So it was new and it felt terrible being mad at him. But you went on with the meeting.

“Miss (l/n), could you tell us any reason why you were captured from Brooklyn?”

Steve took your hand and he gave you a reassuring squeeze. You took a deep breath and explained to them what you told the boys.

“There you have it. My parents are held captive and I was just leverage… kind of.”

“Hm… well, I believe Agent Carter seemed to like you and your background and credentials seem to prove your capability. It’s your choice. Do you want to join the SSR? You would need to go and do basic training with her ASAP. Do you understand?”

“If I may speak, sir, maybe she shouldn’t join. After all she’s gone through-“ Bucky interrupted.

“Bucky, please.”

“What Steve?”

Steve pulled him aside. He saw your hurt eyes. You understood his intentions. He just wanted you safe but you had stand up for yourself. For women. For persons of colour. If you couldn’t, you’d be no better than everyone who stood idly by as this war raged on. After all they put you through. You wanted to take them down so they wouldn’t ever do to others what they did to you.

“Buck, don’t you think you’re going a bit too far? First the jealousy, now being overly protective?”

“Steve, she shouldn’t be out here. This is war. She’s gonna get herself hurt, even worse, killed!”

“And we aren’t? If she chooses to join, then she knows what she’s doing. You’re not gonna deprive her of that.”

“Steve-“

“No ‘buts’ James. She will be so angry if you don’t let her choose.”

Bucky was taken aback when he used his real name. The only times he uses his actual name was either in bed or was when he was serious.

“Fine…”

“We’ll protect her too. Please.”

“I got it Steve. I got it. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to me. You apologize to her.”

They walked back to the group. Steve kissed your head giving you the okay to choose. You took a deep breath.

“I’ll join.”

Meeting adjourned and you walked away from the boys. You think you developed a claustrophobia being in enclosed spaces for too long. You took a deep breath of the fresh air and stretched out your arms. You saw the sun under partly cloudy skies. You wondered about your parents. Were they okay? Surely Hydra only kept them ‘cause they were valuable medical staff. Right?

“(y/n/n)?”

You turned to see Bucky. You knew he wanted to apologize.

“If you came to say you’re sorry, no need. I was just shocked you’d be that way.”

“I know. I guess I’m not used to people admiring… uh.. how do I say this without being a jerk?”

He wanted to say that Steve and you were his.

“I get it. To be honest, why you could love Steve and I back then was surprising to us.”

“(y/n/n), I’m real sorry. You two are so beautiful. I guess I never had a problem because… I don’t want to say no one wanted you two but society is a bitch.”

“Bucky. I love you. Though, ouch, no one wanted us?”

“It’s hard to say okay? Steve was scrawny and would get stepped on girls all the time, but I love him all the same. You were always beautiful. It’s just this war and society norms that put you in a bad light. I couldn’t have asked for more to ask you to be mine and Stevie’s during this time. Now when I see girls fawn over Steve or like Terry who you got along so well with, felt like you two don’t need me anymore.”

“Oh Bucky… of course we need you. You make sure we understand we are great people. You make us better people. Looks like you need convincing too.”

“I’m not as strong as I look huh.”

“You and Steve are the strongest men I’ve known. If not for you two, I would still be getting stoned since I was little girl.” You give Bucky a lasting kiss, “You’re amazing too. Remember that okay Buckaroo?”

“I still hate that nickname,” he chuckled.

“You’re always gonna be my Buckaroo.”

6 months in and you were official. You looked to your tags and smiled.

_Agent (y/n) (l/n)_

_Birth: December 16, 1918_

_Hometown: Brooklyn, New York_

_Next of Kin: Howard Stark_

**“Howard Stark is your next of kin?”** teased Bucky as he looked over your shoulder.

“He’s been of great help and he’s not field trained. I couldn’t put the two of you down, now could I?”

**“Why not?”**

“You two are also soldiers! What if something happens?”

**“You’re talking about Steve, Captain America, and the best sniper in American History Sergeant James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes.”**

“Ohhhkay Buckaroo.”

**“It’s true!”**

“They should bump you down to Specialist then if that’s all you are,” Steve teased back.

**“No way! Sweetheart he’s a real kidder ain’t he? I worked for this title.”**

Your boys would be the death of you but you love them either way. You couldn’t ask for anyone better.

The next few months, you were always assigned the scout missions or missions that needed a delicate hand. You proved your worth on the field. You earned your stripes as a Howling Commando as well. Your missions to take down Hydra had Zola and Takamura running with no place to continue their work. Now to take them down.

All of you were in the Alps somewhere waiting for the train that had Zola and Takamura inside.

**“Remember when I made you ride the Cyclone at Coney Island?”**

“Yeah and I threw up?”

**“This isn’t payback, is it?”**

“Now why would I do that?”

“Oh jeez… I hate heights.”

**“Don’t worry (y/n/n). We won’t let you fall,”** Bucky winked. _He was always a charmer_ , you thought.

Jones had given just reported that Zola and Takamura were on the train. T minus 3 minutes. You wait for Dernier’s signal.

“Maintenant! (Now)”

You three slid down and safely infiltrated the train. It was too quiet though. No soldiers on guard.

**“What the… no one’s here.”**

“Don’t let your guard down Buck.”

You carefully entered the next car over before the doors locked on you three.

**“I guess I spoke too soon!”**

“Ya think?”

-Welcome back, Fraulein-

“Zola!”

- _welcome Asset-_

“Takamura!”

-Captain Rogers, Sergeant Barnes. I hope you had fun with your little girlfriend. It would be a shame to fight her-

“(y/n) what does he mean by that?”

“I-I don’t know.”

-Fraulein, don’t tell me you’ve forgotten. You’re our greatest asset remember?-

“No fucking way! I never agreed to anything!”

-tsk tsk tsk. Fraulein, then I guess we have to remind you. Dr. Takamura?-

You all stood guard but what happened next froze you. Takamura’s words…

_-Yume-_

An electric shock stripped through you.

_-Chie-_

A pain shocked you once more.

**“(y/n)! What’s happening?!”**

_-nijuuichi-_

You fell to your knees as the pain cut through your core.

_-nendo-_

You started to groan.

“Stop it! Leave her alone!”

**“(y/n)!”**

_-yuuki-_

“AHHH! STOP PLEASE!”

_-kyuu-_

you grabbed your head. The whirring of that damned machine they placed you in was buzzing in your ear.

_-hi-_

“Please, fucking stop, please!”

Steve and Bucky were desperately trying to pry one of the doors open but it wasn’t working.

_-tayouna-_

“Gahhh! It hurts! Bucky! Steve! No…” You began to whimper. You were losing them. You tried to remember their names to cry out but you had no idea what or who they were.

_-sainou-_

your mind was almost blank. All you heard was Takamura’s voice. _Comply, comply, comply_.

_-fuyu-_

then it stopped. Your mind was quiet. You stopped yelling. Steve and Bucky’s effort at the door stopped as well. They look to you. You stood firm with a stoic expression.

_-Asset?-_

_ “Ready to comply” _

-Captain, Sergeant. Meet Kunoichi. Hydra’s newest assassin-

With wide eyes, Steve and Bucky look at you. They tried to call out to you but it was drowned out by Takamura’s voice.

_Serve Hydra. You are a weapon. A tool. Nothing more. You are a kunoichi. A ninja. Predator of the night. Our greatest asset._

-Have fun you three. I will unlock the doors-

_-Kunoichi, weapons fill the train. Do what you will. Get rid of them-_

You took you throwing knives and quickly attacked. Steve protected him and Bucky.

“(y/n)! This isn’t you!”

**“Don’t do this!”**

You ignore their pleas and switched to hand-to-hand. Bucky and Steve knew they had no chance. You were always the best hand-to-hand combatant amongst the Howling Commandos. So divide and conquer was the plan of attack between the two boys and you. When Steve attacked, Bucky was behind you. When Bucky rushed at you, you ended up dodging Steve’s attack as well. Their alternate attacks weren’t working so they had to gain distance. The went back to the previous car.

In the front of the train, Takamura and Zola watched on as their weapon was easily taking down her two lovers.

You took a gun from one of the shelves. It was a hefty one. Surely it would blast one of them. You shot through the door. You disintegrated the metal shelves in between you and the boys. You shot at Steve but the energy blast deflected and took out a huge chunk of the side of the train in which he also dropped his shield. Bucky picked it up and in a desperate act to stop you, he shot at you but to no avail, he kept missing and you shot back. It sent him flying back and out the hole. Steve quickly picked up his shield and threw it right at you. Safe to say, you were winded. Steve ran to see Bucky holding on to dear life.

“Bucky!”

“Go! Take her down and get our girl back.”

“You first! Hang on!” Steve moved out and hung on a metal bar. He stretched out his hand.

“You are one helluva guy you know that? I don’t think I can hold on much longer!”

“Don’t you say that! Come on! Help me get our girl back!”

“Tell her it’s not her fault. Tell her I love her. Always.”

“Bucky… Don’t give up on me. Not on us.”

“I love you Stevie.” Bucky lost his grip when the metal bar he was hanging on to gave way. He screamed as he fell into the snow below.

“NO!” Steve had just watched as he lost both of his lovers within a matter of minutes. He went back in the train, intent to take you down. Even if you were his girlfriend, he needed to stop you and get you out of this mess. He saw you get up and readied himself for a fight before the comms of the train went on.

-Stop Fraulein. We know when we are beaten-

You stop pursuing Steve. You led him to the front of the car where Takamura and Zola awaited your arrival. Steve contacted the rest of the Commandos and halted the train at the rendezvous. You and the two doctors were arrested and locked up at base in London.


	7. Mourn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Takamura talks a lot in this one so instead of having Reader to repeat everything, it will go on as a regular conversation.

The day after lock up, the Zola, Takamura, and you were to be interrogated. Steve saw your cuffed form through a one-way mirror. He hated seeing you this way. You were essentially lifeless. Hydra had your mind. He also couldn’t help to think that they surrendered too easily. He couldn’t stay at the base anymore. He needed to leave.

On the other side of the mirror, you sat in place. Unmoving. No thoughts ran through your head. There was no mission at the moment. The door opened but you didn’t budge. You kept looking at the wall, eyes staring straight. Peggy and Philips had a sad look on their face. For almost a year, you were, and still are, their friend. It’s just your mind. They needed a way to get you back. Soldiers shoved Zola and Takamura and had them sit beside you. Three plates of food in front of you and the doctors.

“What is this?” asked Zola.

“Steak.”

_“I’m not that hungry…”_ stated Takamura in Japanese.

“Excuse Dr. Takamura, he does not speak English. However, Fraulein may interpret for you. Won’t you Fraulein?”

You didn’t answer but complied with his order.

“Don’t you talk to her like that,” spat Philips. He didn’t usually do it but his feelings were getting in the way. So was Peggy’s but she held it in.

_“If this is your way of intimidating, you Americans are sorely mistaken.”_

You repeated in English (and will for the rest of the conversation).

“Don’t mean we won’t try,” Philips tossed a piece of paper in front of them.

Zola reads what’s on the paper, “‘Given the variable information he has provided, and in exchange for his full cooperation, Dr. Zola and Dr. Takamura is being remanded to Switzerland.’”

“We sent that message to Washington this morning. Of course it was encoded. You guys haven’t broken those codes, have you? That would be awkward.”

_“You fools.”_

“I beg your pardon?” Peggy spoke up.

_“If I’m being completely honest, you Allies are persistent little bastards. It simply annoys me. However, the Nazi regime is much more annoying. I could do so much better in Hydra than this fool.”_

Zola looked to him almost betrayed, “Dr. Takamura…”

_“Dr. Zola… your work, as profound as it is, you are barely scratching the surface._ ”

That left a bad taste in Peggy’s mouth. She made a disgusted face.

_“Calm down, woman. I haven’t either but I’m sure I’m a lot smarter and wittier than this sorry sort beside me.”_

“Sounds like you two have a love quarrel going on,” smirked Philips.

“Schmidt will know this is a lie.”

“He’s gonna kill you anyway Doc. You’re a liability. You know more about Schmidt than anyone. And the last people you cost us was Captain Rogers’ close friends. So, I wouldn’t count on the very best of protection. There’s you two or Schmidt. It’s just the hand you dealt.”

“Schmidt believes he walks in the foot steps of the Gods.”

“Mmm.”

“Only the world itself will satisfy him.”

“You do realize that’s nuts, don’t you?”

“But the sanity of the plan is of no consequence.”

“And why is that?”

“Because he can do it!”

“What’s his target?”

“His target… is everywhere.”

“hmm… any words from you?” he said to Takamura.

“ _None. However, Hydra will fall. Not now at least, it’s a bit premature,”_ he smirked.

Peggy and Philips just glared at the two. Philips called some soldiers in. They escorted Zola out first. They had more to talk about with Takamura. Once Zola was gone, they continued.

“What’s your role in this doctor?”

_“Me? I’m merely a pawn unfortunately. So were her parents._ ”

The mention of your parents was unrecognizable to you. As far as you knew, you had no one.

“‘Were’ doctor?”

_“Yes. Hydra has no need for them anymore. They’ve done their part. They are dead.”_

Poor (y/n) they thought.

_“But I know the outcome of the war already. Captain Rogers is a bit hell bent right now because he lost two important people in his life. Hydra will fall, like I said, but to be stopped entirely is premature. You will have your work cut out for you.”_

“So what, you know the future now?”

_“I’m merely explaining the probability. Truthfully, Schmidt is crazy. The world doesn’t come to him in a day. Nonetheless, he will create a tsunami from their downfall.”_

Peggy and Philips was tired of this doctor giving them cryptic information, and frankly, they were irritated to hear you translate for him. It was maddening and sad at the same time. Philips once again called for soldiers to escort you and the doctor back to your holding cell. Peggy wanted to find Steve and update him as well as check up on him.

Once you and the doctor were far away from the interrogation room you were given the order.

_“Asset. Now would be ideal.”_

Your body moved with much fluidity. The soldiers had no chance. Gun shots were dispersed between soldiers, taking them out with cold precision. You grabbed the keys from one of them and freed you and the doctor.

_“Leave Dr. Zola. Schmidt has something else in store for him. You and I have our own mission. Now get me out of here.”_

You moved in an instant. Carefully avoiding the guards and soldiers on base. You silently took out the ones near the gate and fled.

Out in London, Peggy found Steve in the bar, now blown up, where he had recruited the Commandos as well as the last date he had with his lovers before months of war and taking down the Hydra bases. He was crying his eyes out. The only sounds you heard were the planes outside, the man on the radio, and his sniffles. Steve notices Peggy.

“Dr. Erskine said that - **sniff** \- the serum wouldn’t just affect my muscles; it would effect my cells. Create a protective system of regeneration and healing. Which means - **sniff** \- I can’t get drunk. Did you know that?”

“Your metabolism burns four times faster than the average person. He thought it could be one of the side effects… It wasn’t your fault.”

“Did you read the reports?”

“Yes.”

“Then you know that’s not true.”

“You did everything you could. Did you believe in him? Did you respect him?” All Steve could do was look at her with teary eyes, “then stop blaming yourself. Allow Barnes the dignity of his choice. He damn well must’ve thought you were worth it.”

Steve looked down at his drink, “How was she?”

“She was… compliant, to say the least.”

Steve hated that word… _comply_. It was so stiff. “Did she say anything?”

“She was an interpreter for Takamura. That’s all.” Silence. “Her parents, Steve… They’re dead.”

He breathed deeply only to understand what that’d mean for you. Did it mean anything to you right now though? Did you care? He looked deeply in his glass.

“I’m goin’ after Schmidt. I’m not gonna stop til all of Hydra is dead or captured.”

“There are things you need to know first but you won’t be alone.”


	8. It's Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the end of Captain America: The First Avenger

**At HQ**

Philips, Peggy, the Commandos, and Steve reconvened the next day for the battle plan meeting.

“Rogers. We have some information about Hydra that needs to be known.” Steve nodded sternly. “(y/n) and Takamura… they escaped. Took out 8 soldiers; the four that were their escorts back to their cells and four more at the gate.”

“What about Zola?”

“He’s still here. We’ll get him to help us. You fellas will concentrate on Schmidt.”

Howard stepped in, “Schmidt’s working with powers beyond our capabilities. He gets across the Atlantic; he will wipe out the entire eastern sea board in an hour.”

“How much time we got?” Jones asked.

“According to my new best friend, under twenty-four hours,” continued Philips.

“Where is he now?”

“Hydra’s last base is here. In the Alps. Five hundred feet below the surface.

“So what are we supposed to do? I mean, it’s not like we can just knock on the front door.”

Steve finally interjects, “Why not?” All of them look to him, “That’s exactly what we’re gonna do.”

**Steve POV**

So I rushed into the fray on my motorbike. Hydra soldiers are on my tail and they all have those high tech weapons. They were firing straight at my shield and slowly gaining on me. I had to do something. I looked over to the button pad on my handlebars. I pressed a button and it released a trip wire which hooked onto two trees. It took out only two soldiers, damn. Okay, I got more up my sleeve. Thank God for Stark. I pushed another button and flames spewed behind me. Another two down, two more to go. They managed to get on my 12 o’clock. Funny enough they had a grenade in the back. They’re practically asking for it. I dismantled it and sped ahead of them. Now all I need to do deal with is this tank. I placed my shield in front of the bike. I managed to dodge all their shots. One final shot from me and _kaboom!_ Tank one and done and rode up the sides, using them as ramps to get in. I rolled off my bike and battled against the soldiers as much as I could; threw my shield with as much precision. I was soon surrounded and outnumbered. I was caught. They cuffed me and led me to see Schmidt. Out of the darkness, he walks towards me.

“Arrogance may not be a uniquely American trait, but I must say you do it better than anyone. But there are limits to what even you can do, Captain. Or did Erskine tell you otherwise?”

“He told me you were insane.”

“Ah… He resented my genius and tried to deny me what was rightfully mine. But he gave you everything. So, what made you special?”

I couldn’t help but chuckle, “Nothin’. I’m just a kid from Brooklyn.” _THWACK! THWACK! KICK!_ I ended up on my knees. Boy, he packs a wallop. “I can do this all day.”

“Oh, of course you can. Of course, but unfortunately I am on a tight schedule.”

He aims his gun at me, “So am I!” I grabbed the soldier beside me and he vanished after Red Skull shot. My team crashed in and Falsworth retrieved my shield for me. My focus now was to go after the Red Skull.

I saw Red Skull slip through the doors down the hallway. I threw my shield and it got caught in between the doors. I got caught in the corridor when a big guy came in with his flamethrower. Thankfully Peggy caught up and took care of him and I was on my way.

I ran to the hangar and the plane was already taking off. I was too late! Then a car pulled up.

“Peggy! Colonel!”

“Get in!” So I hopped in and he raced towards the plane. He was almost there.

“Keep it steady!” Before I leap, Peggy stops me.

“Go get him! They would be proud of you!”

I nodded and returned to what was in front of me. I jumped and managed to get on the plane.

I noticed there were fighter planes targeted different American cities. I fought the soldiers manning them and managed to dismantle all of them and rode one to get back to the plane. I rushed to the cockpit. It was quiet until I heard a noise behind me and I managed to deflect an energy blast away which created a hole in the plane. I looked up to see her.

“(y/n)…” behind me, Red Skull turned from the pilot’s seat.

“Isn’t she beautiful? Takamura said he’ll restart the program again. I guess she was also a pawn. That’s too bad. Fraulein, take care of him.”

You answered and moved forward. I dodged another energy blast and from below disarmed her. She fought with such force. Her punches weren’t hers. It was different. Almost sloppy. There was no thought behind it. Maybe I can do something. I bobbed and weaved and tumbled until I managed to hit her with my shield and knock her out on a jutted out beam. I rushed to her to check if she was alright. She was breathing. Thank the Lord. Now for Schmidt.

I quickly turned around and he was aiming right at me.

“You could have the power of the gods! Yet you wear a flag on your chest and think you fight a battle of nations! I have seen the future, Captain! There are no flags!”

“Not my future!” I huffed. I dodged his blast and threw my shield to disarm him and the cubic console.

“What have you done?! NO!” He grabbed the cube but something was happening to him. A beam of light came out of nowhere and soon he just vanished as well. I don’t know where he went but as long as he’s far away from here, that’s fine by me. I went back to (y/n) and carried her to the front. I placed her beside me as I sat in the pilot’s seat. I gave her a kiss on her head. She was still mine. Still Bucky’s, and we, hers. I took over the controls and found out that this plane was heading for New York. I contacted base.

“Come in. This is Captain Rogers. Do you read me?”

Fresno came through, -Captain Rogers, what is your-

-Steve, is that you? Are you alright?- Peggy cut in.

“Peggy! Schmidt’s dead and I have (y/n) with me.”

-What about the plane?-

“That’s a little bit tougher to explain”

-Give me your coordinates, I’ll find you a safe landing site-

“There’s not going to be safe landing, but I can try and force it down.”

-I’ll get Howard on the line, he’ll know what to do-

“There’s not enough time. This thing’s moving too fast and it’s heading for New York… I gotta put her in the water.”

-Please, don’t do this. We have time. We can work it out-

“Right now I’m in the middle of nowhere. If I wait any longer a lot of people are gonna die. Peggy, this is my choice. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for (y/n),” I start to force the plane down, “Peggy?”

-I’m here-

“Do me a favour? Keep my sketchbook for me. I still got more drawings to make.”

“Of course, I’ll keep it safe.”

“And go back to my old place and keep that one vinyl, ‘All I Do Is Dream of You’ for me? That’s our favourite song.”

-You got it Steve- I can hear her start to tear up.

“You know, I wanted to show (y/n) how to dance but I was afraid I was gonna end up stepp-“

**_ BLACK _ **

**Back in London**

The war was over. They called it VE-Day. While everyone celebrated, the Commandos mourned. They stood in the bar with all their glasses filled.

Falsworth finally says, “To the Captain.” They drink to him.

Peggy did what Steve asked him no matter how hard it hurt. His sketchbook and vinyl kept away from prying eyes. The Smithsonian asked for any items of ‘Captain America’, not even Steve Rogers, to display. She politely declined and stated it wouldn’t have been what they wanted. Howard Stark was busy trying to find Steve but was only successful in finding the Tesseract. The SSR turned into SHIELD. The world was safe… for now.

_KIA_

_Sergeant James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes_

_March 10, 1917-February 1, 1945_

_MIA_

_Agent (y/n) “(y/n/n)” (l/n)_

_December 16, 1918-March 2, 1945_

_Captain Steve Grant Rogers – Captain America_

_July 4, 1918-March 2, 1945_


	9. Awake

**October 8, 2011**

[ _Curve ball, high and outside for ball one. So the Dodgers are tied, 4-4. And the crowd well knows that with one swing of his bat, this fellow’s capable of making it a brand-new game again…]_

The radio goes on and a blond man sleeps on a hospital bed. He wakes up slowly. Soft lights hit his eyes. He takes a calm breath before he realizes the unknown space. He sits up slowly and looks around. The radio is on but that’s the only sound going off. The exterior screamed the city but there was no hustle and bustle from cars below. Was there a below? He takes in the radio broadcast but recognizes it. It was familiar. Then the door opens and a brunette lady steps in.

“Good morning,” she says but checks her watch, “Or should I say, afternoon?”

“Where am I?”

“You’re in a recovery room in New York City.”

The radio keeps going on. He was eyeing her.

“Where am I really?”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

“The game, it’s from May 1941. I know, ‘cause I was there,” he stands up and towers over her, “Now, I’m gonna ask you again. Where am I?”

“Captain Rogers…”

“Who are you?”

Suddenly soldiers walked in. He knew it was fake! He knocks them through the now fake wall and he bolts out the hole. He runs and runs until he slows down in Times Square. He’s surrounded by lights and moving pictures and advertisements. He becomes dizzy with the constant movement until he’s surrounded by black cars. He’s made a scene and crowd gathers. From one of the cars, a black man in a black trench coat and an eye patch walks towards him.

“At ease, soldier!” Steve eases but still cautious, “look, I’m sorry about that little show back there, but… we thought it best to break it you slowly.”

“Break what?”

“You’ve been asleep, Cap. For almost seventy years.”

Steve widens his eyes. He’s shocked. He woke up alone but he remembers you. You were there in the plane. What happened to you?

“You gonna be okay?”

Steve looked back, “With all due respect, sir, someone else was on the plane with me.”

“We can talk in my office. Come on, it’s chilly out here.”

**Coincidentally somewhere in Serbia in 2011**

You woke up in a dimly lit room. You vaguely remember a similar situation but everything is hazy. You were in a proper bed, _better than last time_ you thought. The last thing you really remember is a train on a snowy mountain. Two men accompanied you but you fought them. One of them fell. The door suddenly opens and two soldiers in black enter and you became hyperaware that you might be in danger.

“W-who the fuck are you?” You only now realize you’re in a clean t-shirt, pants, and combat boots. You jumped up and backed away. The soldiers didn’t move though. Soon after, an Asian man came through the door. You don’t recognize him.

“Good evening, Kunoichi.”

“W-what?”

“That’s what Hydra calls you. That is your name.”

“What? N-no… I don’t believe that.” You really didn’t. You knew you have a name but you couldn’t remember what it was.

“Come with me,” he calmly orders, “let me catch you up.”

The soldiers made way, you weren’t going to be shoved or dragged. They let you have the freedom to follow him. You did but still wary.

You walked into a bigger room, almost like a lab. There was a desk with a chair on either side of it. A bigger chair with a contraption that hung overhead. You got flashbacks of that chair. He dropped a hefty folder on the desk in front of you.

“Sit.”

“I’d rather stand thank you. Seems like I’ve been asleep for a while.”

“Right you are. Very well. I am Dr. Takamura. You don’t know me personally but you do know my grandfather.”

The name gives you chills. You did know him. He conditioned you. You weren’t you. Kunoichi, the name he mentioned, was your codename.

“You’ve been sleeping for about seventy years.”

“Excuse me?” you scoffed, “You expect me to believe that?”

“I understand your confusion. Please calm down. I will show you proof.”

He takes out his smartphone.

“Take a look at this. Phones have developed greatly since your time. Barely any landlines, much less wired ones. You can carry one in your pocket. I will personally see to it that you catch up at your own pace. However, in exchange for your freedom, to think at all, you must comply.”

 _Comply_ … it echoed in your head and it made you sick to hear that word. You groaned and clenched your teeth.

“Tsk tsk tsk… I know you’re not… trusting. After all, you were on the Allies side in the war. Never you mind. If you can remember, my grandfather injected you with a certain… serum. It wasn’t perfect like of Dr. Erksine but the most of the effects are there. Enhanced strength, faster metabolism, cell regeneration... This serum saved you, hence why you’re here right now,” He shuffles through the paper in the folder and takes out a few pictures. A man and a woman, dead. They looked to be executed.

“They were your parents. They were of… essential help back in the day.”

“No…” Their faces, as pale as they were, you remembered their warmth. They were good people. Flashbacks rushed through and you dropped to your knees not holding back the tears that overflowed. The soldiers pick you up and sat you in the chair.

“This is why I said to sit,” he gave you a full tissue box, “anyways… I’m sorry to inform you of your loss.”

“Why are you sorry… You guys killed them.”

“I didn’t, Hydra in 1945 did. We execute, sure, but we believe in rewarding our assets when compliance is met. If they had completed what they were to do, we’d let them go. Wipe their memories and let them live their lives. Secrets are kept, it’s a win-win to be honest. Usually minor pawns have that benefit. Someone like me, well execution is the better option for Hydra. Poor me, right?”

He was trying to be friendly by joking, no matter how dark it was.

“Allow me to continue,” he shuffled through the papers again. He pulled out two files. One had blond hair, the other was brunet. The blond had an older picture because it was still in black and white. The lightness of his hair gave away his blondness. The brunet, however, had a newer picture but he was… frozen. Both gave you another feeling of familiarity. You saw the details. Their names were redacted.

_(Blond man)_

_[REDACTED] aka Captain [REDACTED]_

_…_

_(Brunet man)_

_[REDACTED]_

_Codename(s): Winter Soldier, Soldat, Asset (#2)_

“That is all the information you will receive. We are not so stupid to leave their names on there. They are important for different reasons. First of all, the blond you shall refer to as the Captain. He’s the threat. The brunet, he… will be your partner. He’s about just as old as you. He’s lived for much longer in between decades. But he will help you. Condition you again.”

“Is… is he like me? Does he… also have freedom?”

He sighed, “No… but he’s a strong willed one. As you are too, but blackmail is a Hydra speciality. You are the first Asset after all. So I implore you, comply or he dies and I know you care about him.”

“How do you know that?”

“I am not obliged to answer that.”

You grabbed Takamura by the shirt, “Answer me, you fuck!” You heard the cocking of guns behind you.

“Careful _Kunoichi_ ,” he said the last word in Japanese, “you don’t want to be in that chair. I’ve heard plenty of screams from that chair alone. Let’s not add anymore from yours.”

You slowly let go and sat back in your seat. The soldiers eased up, putting their guns back in safety.

“Now… Soldat will be defrosted in a short while. We will finish catching up for today while we wait. Question before we continue, though. Do… you… comply?” He gave an evil smirk and awaited your answer. It was a test. You say anything than what they want, they kill the brunet you so deeply care about _for some reason_. You hesitate on your answer as Takamura’s smirk faded and he raised an eyebrow.

“Ready… to… comply.”

**Nick Fury’s Office**

Steve and Fury walked in to the office. His name plate on his desk said _Director Nicholas J. Fury of SHIELD_.

“Director of SHIELD?”

“Yes. The SSR turned into SHIELD. A name far too long to explain. Take a seat,” so Steve sat, “So… You said there was someone else?”

“Yes, she was there with me.”

“I’m sorry Cap. We only found you.”

“No…” once again, his world was shattered. Not only did he wake up in a different time, he lost you again. “Her name was (y/n) (l/n). Are you sure you didn’t find her body?”

Fury brought up her file. Steve was exposed to the hologram and shocked as to much time has changed once again, “Oh your girlfriend? Agent (y/n)?”

“Yeah, that’s her,” the picture on file was you laughing along with him and Bucky. _Oh Bucky…_ he remembered.

“I’m sorry Cap, we searched the plane and a 10-mile radius from the wreckage. We couldn’t find her.”

Cap nodded sternly. He guessed it was his reality now. Bucky was dead, you were still missing but possibly dead.

“The serum kept you alive. It’s probably that fast metabolism and the cell regeneration that kept you preserved,” an agent walks in with a box and places it in the chair next to Steve.

“These are your personal belongings Cap. Agent Carter took the liberty of visiting your broken in home in Brooklyn and retrieving some items. ‘said you asked her to keep some stuff.”

_“Do me a favour? Keep my sketchbook for me. I still got more drawings to make.”_

_“Of course, I’ll keep it safe.”_

_“And go back to my old place and keep that one vinyl, ‘All I Do Is Dream of You’ for me? That’s our favourite song.”_

He remembers his last words to Peggy.

“Actually, she’s alive still. She’s at an old folk’s home somewhere in the UK. I can give you an address and number and you can thank her yourself.”

Steve stays quiet. He’s speechless. All his things from then, basically gone except for what’s in the box.

“We can set you up in Brooklyn if you want. In the meantime, there is a room here at HQ for you to use. All the money you saved, inflated and well… you’re loaded.”

He could only nod.

“You okay Cap?”

“I don’t know… it’s a lot to take in.”

“I know…”

“And please… call me Steve.”

“Sure thing Ca… Steve.”

Nick personally shows Steve to his room which is a few floors down from his office.

“If there’s anything you need, let me know. You have a land line phone. It’s different from back then but works just the same,” he searches his inside coat pocket and takes out a card, “here is my number. Use the one that says cell. Everything you need is in there, bathroom, kitchenette, bed, and some basic clothes in your wardrobe.”

“Thanks Nick. I appreciate it.”

“Any time Steve. You deserve a break.”

And with that, Fury leaves him to his own devices. Steve takes in his suite. It’s grey… bland… but he digresses. He sets the box on his bed, not wanting to look through it yet. He explores.

The bed is queen-sized, closet and wardrobe ain’t much but enough for the time being. There are clothes already there for him to use.

There’s a small bookshelf on the wall where there are books to help him catch up with the world. Underneath the bookshelf, a desk. It was decent sized but nothing was on it. Some notebooks and stationery sit on top of it.

The suite had a full bathroom; it came with a tub, sink, and toilet.

The kitchenette was also decent sized. Enough to fit about two people but with Steve’s size, probably could only really fit him. So he settles to cook. The fridge was stocked just like Fury said. He took out the ingredients he needed and sighed. He missed cooking with you and Bucky. He took a moment. All these memories kept rushing through his mind. He’s doing his best to not cry but then he noticed something on his bedside table. He walked over, sniffling a little bit, and noticed that it was the vinyl Peggy kept for him. It didn’t fit in the box they gave him so he guessed they just kept it here for him to find. He looked around and saw a vinyl player. _I’m so taking this with me when I get my own place again._ He set up the vinyl and set the needle. In the crackliest, vintage sound, the song started.

_All I do is dream of you_

_The whole night through_

_With the dawn I still go on_

_Dreamin’ of you…._

The upbeat of the song made him smile and tear at the same time. He could vividly remember you dancing with one of them. If one of you cooked, the other two would dance. You hated dancing and especially hated dancing in public settings but you allowed yourself to dance with them no matter how bad you were. It was a sweet, domestic memory. You always wore a pretty pink, flowery dress, with the cutest pixie cut or a pony tail when you had your hair long. Bucky always slicked back his hair but you were all at home, his hair was always a beautiful mess. He got back in the kitchen and continue to cook.

After cleaning up, he finally built the courage to look through his things. Peggy actually looked through his old apartment. She collected more than he asked for.

First, he noticed the newest of the pile. A card with a note on top.

_Your money has been saved by the SSR/SHIELD. Your financial assets are in a Bank of America account. Go over there, say you gotta ‘unfreeze’ your account and the teller should know what to do from there._

_-Fury_

Gosh, they really went all out just in case he really came back.

Then, he saw the three mugs. The three of you had bought matching mugs one day when you said _I love you_ to them for the first time as their best girl.

The compass he kept was placed in there as well. The picture inside hadn’t faded from the ice or water or even from the debris when he crash landed.

He recognized the small, but now tattered, blanket that was your favourite. He took a mental note to get you a blanket but then soon erased it when he remembered you were still missing (or dead but he didn’t want to think that).

Your pottery knives and some of your foolish knives that got you into this mess in the first place. You were always a weird girl but he could never understand how, as much as he loved you, found hobbies like these were interesting. Pottery he could understand, but the other knives? Not so.

Bucky’s cap was in there too. Not the hat they gave him when he joined the army, though an American flag with Bucky’s army pin was also inside. No, his cap and glove when they played catch. Even the baseball they kept, autographed by Whit Wyatt himself. You never liked baseball but it was an amazing gift when you gave it to him and Bucky for your guys’ anniversary.

He already got the promised vinyl that Peggy kept carefully. His sketchbook was the last thing he saw. The papers were worse for wear but the drawings inside were still visible. Drawings of Bucky and you filled the pages as did some landscape drawings. He flipped to spread of you and Bucky together. He stared at it longingly, wishing he had you and Bucky in his arms. You smelled like peaches all the time, Bucky of plums, and funny enough, they always said Steve smelled like cherries. _We would’ve been a great fruits basket_ he chuckled to himself. But his chuckled fades and it turned into soft whimpers. He didn’t want to be alone. He was the man out of time now. All he can do is live with the great memories and try to forget the bad ones. He choked is sobs into the sketchbook as he hunched over mourning Bucky and missing you. His tears didn’t ruin the art but nothing could repair the REAL damage dealt.

_I love you…_

_I love you…._

_I love you….._


	10. Restarting

_[-pant- -pant- -pant- (y/n)! Bucky!_

_Steve, only in the clothes he wore when the serum was injected into him, was running through the Hydra corridors again. He thought he was back to chasing Red Skull but he saw yours and Bucky’s shadow turn the corner. When it was his turn to come around the corner, the scenery changed to when he was on the train. He saw Bucky hang on to dear life on the side of the car. He was holding on to the same bar that barely hung. Steve tried to save him._

_“Tell her I love her. Always.”_

_And he fell. Again. Bucky’s scream echoed. Steve tried to yell but nothing came out. Then he felt your presence behind him. The scene changed again and he was in the plane again with you. You rushed at him with one of your knives. He tried to move but you were so quick. He had thought you managed to stab him in the abdomen but when he looked down, the knife was in yours instead. When did he deflect and stab you in return? He looked back up and saw your eyes. They were frosty white, just like your body. It had turned into ice as if coming out of the ice himself. You wore a frown on your face and said those chilling words:_

_“I’m sorry.”]_

Steve jolted up but soon felt the pain of a headache. No longer did he remember the nightmare he had, just the feeling of it. He didn’t even know when he went to sleep. His eyes felt a bit puffy. _I guess I fell asleep crying_. He slowly got up and trudged to the bathroom. His eyes not only puffy, when he looked in the mirror, but red rimmed as well. He tried to wash off the pain and puffiness with cold water and got ready for the day. He had a list of things he wanted to do and now all the time in the world to do them. Just not with people he wished it would be with.

**Serbia**

The hidden base Hydra was stationed at was a desolate area. Nothing but snow everywhere. The only way out of the area was by snowplough. No one tried to stop you when you went out the front door. No one could survive the constant snowstorm anyhow.

They gave you a better room though; full with utilities. Even included a kitchen with a stock of food ( _the closest town must be a 50 miles out or something),_ clothes, what little they could provide, and some books. It wasn’t a lot but enough to keep you occupied. They were informative to cover the last 70 years. Hydra even gave you their files. You weren’t so much an Asset, you felt, it was more of an agent again. Not a good agent but it was better than feeling like a mindless puppet. That feeling you remembered. It was scary. Every now and then, you got flashbacks. Your mind has been under Hydra’s control, but you remembered almost everything, the interrogation room, the plane with the Captain. You, yourself, didn’t want to hurt him but the Kunoichi did. Now you’re here. Your room had two beds as well. They’ve given you two double beds but you didn’t understand why the other was there.

So you plotted your escape but it’s gonna take a while. Until you reach some sort of civilization, you were trapped. You figured to take it one day at a time. Your door opened and a man was shoved through. It was the brunet from the files. He fashioned a metal arm. It intrigued you but the man himself, he had a hurt look in his eyes.

“Who…?” he muttered.

“Soldat?”

“I… uh… where am I?”

“Serbia.”

“Oh… I’m still here.”

“You remember some things?”

He nodded, “Who are you?”

“They call me Kunoichi but I don’t think that’s my name.”

“You speak English?”

“Among others, I was always a polyglot it seems.”

“I see…”

“Apparently, you and I are kind of close.”

“We are…?” A wave washed over the brunet as he felt a familiarity with the woman in front of her, “I-I do know you.”

“Hm…” you took a moment and remembered something of what Takamura said, “they said you wouldn’t have the freedom to think, but here you are. Freely talking to me.”

“They haven’t put you in that chair yet?”

“I’ve been in that chair, a long time ago…”

“Me too…”

“Come to think of it, doc said you were around the same age as me. Guess we’re ancient.”

“So it seems,” he smiled sadly. He can feel your warmth, or what he wants to believe is your kindness despite being in a Hydra base.

“I guess that bed is yours,” you stated pointing at the extra bed.

“I get to sleep on a bed?”

“Where’ve you been all this time?”

“A cryo-chamber.”

“Jeez… I guess you’re a super soldier like me.”

“Super soldier?”

“You’ve been in and out of there for about 70 years I presume.”

“Yeah… it just seems like days really. Sure I get tired from being unfrozen but I figured it was just within the span of a few months or something.”

“Not exactly logical, but good try,” you chuckled.

“I like you, doll.”

“Doll?”

“Huh? Did I say that? I’m sorry, it just slipped out. I don’t know where that came from.”

“No, no, it’s fine actually. I feel like you’ve said that to me before but let’s keep that between ourselves.”

You and Soldat have talked non stop, even over dinner. It felt like… home. You had explained to him about an escape plan but he put it down because he mentioned that whenever a mission comes about, he was to be put in the chair. That was a flaw you couldn’t risk. That didn’t mean you weren’t going to modify your plan. You knew there was a way to get him to a regular person again. The Captain had done it to you so it should work on Soldat. You just needed to know how he fights. He was supposed to condition you again so that meant he was a good fighter. Bucky noticed a box on your desk.

“What’s in that box?”

“Hm? Oh… uh… I had a hobby. It was a strange one. I made knives. The ones here are most of my combat knives. I know martial arts so weapon arts seemed like something to learn as well.”

“You’re a strange dame, you know that?”

“Somehow, I think I do. I like your accent Soldat.”

“Accent?”

“Sounds like… Brooklyn.”

The word surged through your bones and the Captain and Soldat came into clear view in your mind. You three were a set, joined at the hip. Too many memories flooded your mind.

“..ey… hey… hey!”

You snapped out of your daze.

“Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah,” you took your head in your hands trying to dull the pain, “Just… flashbacks again.”

“I know how you feel. Since I got here, I’ve been getting some but I’m used to them.”

A headache was coming along and you groaned. Soldat took you in his arms and cooed to you.

“Shh sweetheart, it’s just a headache.”

The flashback of you and him on a couch came back. You were crying in his arms, in this memory, doing just about the same thing as the present.

You jolted out of his arms gasping for air.

“Doll!”

“I’m sorry… I-I… I think that was bit too intimate for me.”

“Sorry uh… Kunoichi.”

You looked back at him with sad eyes. He had used your codename not the sweet ‘doll’ that he’s been using.

“Damn… I just think maybe using your codename would be ideal for now just so you don’t get constant headaches.”

So that was his reason.

“That’s sweet Soldat. I’ve got to get me a better codename.”

“Maybe…” he chuckled.

**A year later…**

An old 1940s World War 2 documentary plays showing a compilation of Captain America’s war efforts. After watching too much, Steve Rogers, now moved in his New York City apartment, shuts the screen off. He looks through the files SHIELD had so kindly gave him. It was all the files of the Howling Commandos and other officials during his time in the war. A few papers say the Commando is deceased but he reaches Peggy Carter’s file.

_“Actually, she’s alive still. She’s at an old folk’s home somewhere in the UK. I can give you an address and number and you can thank her yourself.”_

Fury did say she was alive. He found the address on her file. She still lived in the UK. He looks on to the landline phone by his bed. He contemplates on calling her. He decides not to and sets the paper down. He sees that Howard Stark is also deceased but is survived by his son, Anthony Edward Stark, otherwise known as Tony or the Iron Man. After some thoughts he makes his way to a small café down the street from him. He causally walks slowly down the sidewalk. It feels like everything is sped up with all the hustle and bustle, people practically running and shoving down the block. He really felt like a Man Out of Time.

He finally reaches the café. He takes his time and sketches the buildings in front of him. He’s constantly looking up prompting the waitress to make small talk with him.

“Waiting on the big guy?” she asks.

“Ma’am?”

“Iron Man. ‘lot of people eat here just to see him fly by.”

“Right…” he says unenthusiastically while looking up at the skyscraper. She smiles cutely at him.

“Maybe another time,” as he takes out some money and pays the bill. She continues to fill his cup with coffee, “Table’s yours as long as you like. No one’s waiting on it. Plus, we got free wireless.”

Steve freezes in his seat, confused as to what she meant, “radio?” he ends up asking. She looks back baffled a little bit. An old man leans back and smugly mentions, “Ask for her number you moron.”

**D.C.**

Hydra has graciously given you an apartment in the US. Unfortunately, you were by yourself. Soldat had to stay in Serbia. During your time there, he helped condition you. Re-training you before you left for the outside world. It wasn’t pretty for either of you. They always put him in the chair so he could train you properly; no emotions whatsoever. When you brought him back from that dark place every time after your training days, they eventually weren’t too happy with you and him being buddy-buddy. Seeing how it would compromise future endeavors, they split you two up.

It worked out for you though. You still had to work for Hydra but you were free to do what you wanted. It would only be a matter of time before they had to re-activate you. You weren’t going to let them do that. Instead, you proposed a “fake” mission to your superiors. Whilst waiting for the right time, you offered to keep tabs on The Captain. You needed a cover to show some sort of loyalty to Hydra anyways. They allowed you to do just that _those fools_. Not their brightest move but they haven’t noticed anything so what was stopping you? The information you gathered brought back more memories and soon enough, within the year, most of your memories were back.

You knew Soldat was Bucky, but you couldn’t reveal that to him. Not now. Not like you could. You knew Steve Rogers was Captain America’s real name. These two were your lovers. Puzzle pieces fit together so well you were relieved and the turmoil about whether being a Hydra agent was your true destiny or someone else, someone good, faded away.

Fortunately, Hydra didn’t know the extent of the memory loss from the chair would be. So hiding that you were definitely going to betray them was too easy. But you also needed the right time to do so. So you waited, for a long time.

_After all this time, Hydra is still the dumb ones._

You carried a burden though. You shot Bucky out of that train. You were responsible for his “death”. Steve must’ve mourned so much. It was your fault.

You watched on as you heard the news from Manhattan. The news showed an alien attack and Captain America and some other… you guessed you’d call them ‘heroes’ was a default term fight the aliens. The roster, Captain America, Tony Stark aka Iron Man, the god of thunder Thor, a big green guy and too normals, one with a bow and arrow and another… just a plain agent you guessed. It was hours before it ended. Iron Man had successfully directed a nuke up into space and survived. You found it interesting though. A bunch of rag tag supers and capable people teamed up to stop aliens and a god; turns out they were fighting the god of mischief Loki. The news quickly dubbed them the Avengers and look, that big ugly tower, Stark Tower, was left with just the ‘A’. _How fitting._


	11. Shame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Over 100 hits? That alone is very cool guys. Thanks y'all. Drop some kudos and comments! I hope my writing is okay.

**December 2013**

You found out Steve had moved to DC. He lived across SHIELD HQ. You also were informed that the big cheese of Hydra, Alexander Pierce, became the Undersecretary of SHIELD which put them in a better position to take them down. It was planned that after the new year, they were going to use Project Insight to weaponize the helicarriers to take out any threats. _Soon_ , you thought as you looked through the plans. A knock was heard at your door. You didn’t make any friends whilst in DC so this was a potential threat. You grabbed your pistol and readied yourself. You unlocked your door, leaving the chain on. A quick flashback of your kidnapping gave you a chill, but you stood guard this time. It was a blond chick.

“Hello,” she greeted.

“May I help you?”

“I’m new to the building and I always see you around. Thought I should say hi.”

“Hi. Now bye,” you faked smiled. You tried to quickly close the door but her foot was in the way.

A gun cocked, “We need to talk. I do come in peace, but you’re making this a bit difficult for me.”

Knowing you couldn’t risk being shot at, you told her to wait a moment as you unchained your door. You allowed her in and didn’t try to clean up your files.

“Who are you?” you asked while locking your door.

“I’m Agent 13 of SHIELD.”

“So?”

“You’ve been following the Captain. Why?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Captain who?” You were obviously toying with her, but it was totally fun to see her teeth seethe.

“Don’t bullshit me!” So much for peaceful talks.

“Slow your roll, missy! I’m just playing with you.”

“Who the fuck are you?”

You saw her stern face and Peggy Carter came into view.

“Oh… you’re related to Peggy?”

“Wha- how do you know that?”

“You have her spunk… and her eyes. Plus, I personally know her.”

She once again cocked her gun and pointed straight at you. You slowly put your hands up in feign surrender.

“How is she by the way? She’s alive still right? Poor her, she has Alzheimer’s.”

“Who… are… you…?”

“Put down the gun and I’ll tell you princess,” the Agent did not, “Okay fine, have it your way. I’m Agent… or ex-agent (y/n) (l/n).” That seemed to get her attention.

“Cap’s…”

“Girlfriend, yes. MIA since the 1940s yadda, yadda, yadda… now put down the gun sweetcakes.” She did.

“Good now will you listen to me?” She didn’t answer so you took that as a yes, “Take a seat.”

You gathered the papers on your coffee table and sat down on the wood.

“I’m very much alive, the same way Steve is. I do have a history with Hydra, and still with them… for now,” she was about to interject, “Don’t interrupt me while I speak young lady. Respect your elders.” You wanted to sound old despite being physically 25. It was fun. She pouted. “Mind telling me your name Carter? Or should I just keep calling you Carter?” She mumbled something but it was incoherent, “Didn’t your parents tell you to not mumble?”

“It’s Sharon… Peggy’s my aunt.” she reluctantly said.

“Well nice to meet you Sharon,” you greet with an outstretched hand. She met yours and you continued. “Has Peggy said anything about me?”

“Only said that you were one of her closest friends and that you were a Hydra puppet. MIA in the same plane as Steve.”

“Basically it. I’m a super soldier now. I have photographic memory to boot. Must be helpful in school am I right?” you joked but she wasn’t having it. You moved from your place and walked to the kitchen. You continued as you worked, “Hydra is planning something but it’s not my place or yours to stop it. Just Steve’s.” You walked back and handed her a cup of tea. The same tea Peggy always drank back in the day. She took it and calmed herself.

“How did you know this was my favourite tea?”

“Wild guess… you mind?” Sharon shifted to one side of the couch leaving space for you.

“I remember you know. The train, the interrogation with your aunt, the plane with Steve. My puppet work in the 40s was short lived but… things have changed since I came back. I’ve yet to be re-activated much like an… associate of mine. I’m not safe, sadly. If I told you the plans, they’d know something was up. I have to keep the lowest of profiles; enough to be under the radar and enough to stay ‘loyal’” you said in air quotes, “to Hydra. By no means, though, do I plan to stay with them. I have to save someone. Hydra’s next plans is my opportunity to get out.”

Sharon was trying to make sense of everything but also trying to understand you.

“You didn’t answer my question earlier…”

“About Steve? I needed a hobby. Stalking seemed like a good bet,” you joked again and that got a chuckle out of her. “Wow, you have a dark sense of humour. No… when Hydra showed me a picture of Steve, I knew him but I didn’t remember him. So I took the chance to find out who he is when they let me live on my own. And before you ask, I did a sweep. No cameras or mics around. I’m old but I’m still smart.” Sharon shook her head in amusement. “Look… I need to see him but not now. It isn’t the time… He… still looks good,” you smiled. You were trying not to get emotional, like you always did when it came to him nowadays. “Do you trust me?” you sadly asked. It was hard for Sharon to make that decision but her Carter feeling was telling her that you were telling the truth.

“I do. If my aunt trusted you, then I do too.”

Shocked at her answer, you didn’t think she would trust you. You smiled, “Thank you, Sharon.”

**January 9, 2014**

After an eventful night on a mission to retrieve back a SHIELD ship, Steve decided to visit the Smithsonian after his debrief with Fury. He heard of the Captain America exhibit.

**Smithsonian Museum**

Steve walks through the exhibit in what he thinks is a good disguise. ­

[A symbol to the nation. A hero to the world. The story of Captain America is one of honour, bravery, and sacrifice.]

He didn’t really feel like that. His world isn’t with him.

He watches an installment show his growth from that scrawny kid from Brooklyn to the man he is now.

[Denied enlistment due to poor health, Steven Rogers was chosen for a program unique in the annals of American warfare. One that would transform him into the world’s first super soldier.]

He sees a boy who recognizes him but secretly tells him not to tell anyone that he’s here. The boy, star struck, simply nods. Steve walks on.

More footage, the same from that documentary he watched a year ago, plays on long screens.

[Battle tested, Captain America and his Howling Commandos quickly earned their stripes. Their mission, taking down Hydra, the Nazi rogue science division.]

He sees his, Bucky’s, and your old uniforms. It was the biggest mural and installation there. Steve walks over to another stand. It was about you and Bucky.

[Best friends since childhood, Bucky Barnes, (y/n) (l/n), and Steven Rogers were inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield. Barnes is the only Howling Commando to give his life in service of his country. (y/n) (l/n) was unfortunately captured by and worked for Hydra but went missing alongside Captain Rogers in the same plane he disappeared in.]

He sighed. This is how they remembered you. You ended up a prisoner of war and they skewed your reputation. Now everyone will think you were a traitor. You weren’t like that. He clenched his hands so hard he felt his nails dig into his skin. Then he noticed someone.

**(y/n) POV**

Crap, you didn’t know Steve would come to the Smithsonian today. You heard about it and wanted to see what it held. You saw his growth, you saw your old uniforms, even the one with you and Bucky. You didn’t take it to heart that they thought you were a traitor. It wasn’t you but you still did the bad stuff. You had noticed Steve in a terrible disguise and hid behind another stand. Then, he saw you. You had to leave. You couldn’t meet him.

**Steve POV**

(y/n)? No. It couldn’t be. I quickly, but discreetly, went on my chase. She was good. She used the crowds to hide. I think she had a blue coat? Gosh, where the hell? I made it out of the museum and I couldn’t find you. I took one last look around before sighing and setting off to see Peggy.

**(y/n) POV**

He didn’t find you. You hid behind the pillar near the entrance and he went right past you. He looked so defeated and that made you sad. You wanted to do the opposite. Instead of run away, you wanted to run right into his arms and feel the warmth between you two. All it would be missing is Bucky. You followed after Steve. He ended up at a senior’s home. Sharon did mention that she got moved to DC so she could be closer to family. You decided to simply wait until Steve left.

A couple hours later, Steve left. You waited some more to make sure he’s completely out of the area. Once he was, you went in. You decided on only staying for an hour. You informed the nurse that you were here for Peggy and she led you to her room. Inside, you saw a frail old woman. Peggy was sick; persistent coughing and Alzheimer’s. This might be your only chance seeing her before needing to be on the run.

“Peggy?” she turned her head. Peggy was shocked and you worried you might give her a heart attack.

“Calm down, Pegs. It’s really me. I’m not dangerous,” you emptied your pockets and even took off your jacket.

“(y/n)… darling you’re alive. H-how?”

“Takamura injected me with a form of the serum. I’m the same as Steve basically.”

“Oh Steve! He’s alive. Did you know?”

“For a while now Pegs. I haven’t…” you choked up a sob, “I’m sorry… I have some bad news.”

Peggy stayed silent awaiting your next part.

“I’m… still with Hydra. Just under the radar though before I go on the run. I swear I’m a good person…” You were full-on crying now, “I didn’t mean to do it. It wasn’t me.”

Peggy hushed you as you crying over her arm. You were ashamed of what you did back then.

“Shh, shh, shh, now, now… I never thought it was your fault. No one did. Not even Philips. (y/n/n) look at me.” You wiped your tears and slowly looked up, “(y/n/n), you were and are one of our friends; never an enemy. We’ve not once thought you a traitor. And Bucky-“

“Bucky’s alive Pegs.”

Her eyes widened and her words cut short.

“He’s like me. He survived. I’ve seen him, talked to him. He’s a good man still Peggy. You gotta believe me.” You kept crying and took your head in your hands. You were like that for about 8-9 minutes before you could calm down. Peggy was patient with you. She waited until you were quiet.

“Why don’t you come back tomorrow? I have Alzheimer’s and I’m pretty sure I won’t remember you but talk to me. Yeah?”

“We’ll see what happens Pegs. Hydra has something planned and I gotta be there for Bucky. Steve might have to wait a little longer to see me properly.”

“Okay sweetheart. Go now.”

“Mmkay…” You got up and got ready to leave but before you walked out the door you said one more thing to her, “Hey Pegs? You raised Sharon well.”

You walk back to your apartment and was surprised to see Bucky in full gear sitting on your couch. You knew what it was about.

“Soldat?” He stood up in attention and walked over. You heard some shuffling and something slid across the kitchen island.

“Hydra was always stereotypically discreet. Like from a Bond film,” you muttered. You took the file and sifted through. Hydra made you his handler. Your hands were practically shaking. This was perfect to leave. Yeah, sure, SHIELD was going to go down along with Hydra, but if it gets you and Bucky out of it all, you gosh darn right. Whatever it takes to get you and him back to Steve.

“All right Soldat. Your mission,” you stopped. It hurt to give him orders, “take out Director Nicholas J. Fury.” You briefed him on the details of his route and where the other soldiers will be positioned at. Your mission, to stay out of the way. Bucky was supposed to do all the work.

_(In Russian)_

_“Do you comply, Soldat?”_

_“Yes.”_

Then he was on his way. It’d be a while before Nick was chased down. He ain’t gonna go down without a fight.

You stood on a nearby ceiling where Soldat was stationed. The chaos is coming closer and closer and then _boom_ Fury’s car flips from Bucky’s bomb. Unfortunately, Bucky finds out he escaped. That’s good. You wanted to talk to him but they’re gonna have to hide him somewhere. You made your way back to the car where Bucky waits.

“Come on, you’re not finished. He’s still out there and Hydra will not be happy.”

**At the VA**

Steve stands in the hallway just outside a therapy session taking place. His new friend, Sam Wilson, finishes up and meets up with him.

“Look who it is. The running man.”

“Caught the last few minutes. It’s pretty intense.”

“Yeah, brother, we all got the same problems. Guilt, regret.”

“You lose someone?”

“My wingman, Riley. Flying a night mission. Standard PJ rescue op, nothing we hadn’t done a thousand times before, till RPG knocked Riley’s dumb ass out of the sky. Nothing I could do. It’s like I was up there just to watch.”

“I’m sorry.”

“After that, I had a really hard time finding a reason for being over there, you know?”

“But you’re happy now, back in the world?”

“Hey, the number of people giving me orders is down to about zero. So, hell, yeah. You thinking about getting out?”

“No. I don’t know. To be honest, I don’t know what I would do with myself if I did.”

“Ultimate fighting?” The two laugh, “It’s just a great idea off the top of my head. But seriously, you could whatever you want to do. What makes you happy?”

“Well, Sam… they… they’ve been gone a long time.”

“It’s Bucky and uh…” Sam snaps his fingers trying to get the name, “(y/n). Must’ve been hard.”

“You would know…”

“I’m sorry for your loss. Well… this,” he hands him a card, “is my number. You don’t have to come here if you don’t want to, just shoot me a text. We can meet up and…”

“Thanks Sam.”

**Steve’s apartment**

As Steve fumbles with his keys, his neighbour, a nurse walks out talking to someone on her phone as she carries laundry in a basket. She notices Steve kind of just watching her and quickly finishes up her call.

“My aunt… she’s kind of an insomniac,” Steve smiles, “yeah…”

“Hey, if you want… _if you want_ , you’re welcome to use my machine. Might be cheaper than the one in the basement.”

“Oh, yeah? What’s it cost?”

“A cup of coffee?”

“Thank you, but um… I already have a load in downstairs, and, uh… you really don’t want my scrubs in your machine. I’m just finished orientation in the infectious diseases ward, so.”

“Ah, well, I’ll keep my distance.”

“Well hopefully not too far,” and before Steve goes in his apartment, “Oh, and I think you left your stereo on.”

“Oh… Right, thank you.”

He waits for her to go down before going into his apartment with extreme caution. His vinyl, his one and only, is playing loudly. He picks up his shield as quietly as possible. He peeks around the corner and sees a severely wounded Nick Fury sitting on his chair.

**Out on the rooftops across Steve’s apartment**

“You know what to do Soldat?”

“Take out the Fury.”

He was perched with a sniper rifle. You remembered Bucky was a great sniper.

_ “You two are also soldiers! What if something happens?” _

**_“You’re talking about Steve, Captain America, and the best sniper in American History Sergeant James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes.”_ **

_ “Ohhhkay Buckaroo.” _

**_“It’s true!”_ **

_“They should bump you down to Specialist then if that’s all you are,” Steve teased back._

**_“No way! Sweetheart he’s a real kidder ain’t he? I worked for this title.”_ **

You just hoped he lost a bit of his skill. You needed Fury alive. Then, he pulled the trigger. You stood up ready for action and you saw Steve in pursuit of Bucky. _Fuck he runs fast. The both of ‘em_ you thought. You watched as Steve was gaining on him. He bashed through fucking office walls, jumped through a window and finally threw his shield. The Winter Soldier easily caught it, to Steve’s surprise. Bucky threw it back at him and Steve slid back from the force maybe 4-5 feet. Then you saw Bucky jump off the roof. You stared at Steve as he tried to run after him. You brought your hand up to your ear, “Meet me at the rendezvous.” You kept staring. He saw you. You let it be for a bit before you needed to leave. You’ll meet him soon. _Not now, not now, not now_ you chanted in your head. So you left.

**That evening at the hospital**

Fury flat lined on the operating table. Steve was so confused. Who took out Fury and why? Who was the man with the metal arm? Who was the woman on the rooftop just staring at him? So many questions. Something was going on and he needed to know what. Brock Rumlow, part of the STRIKE team, told Steve needed to go back to SHIELD for questioning. Fury gave him a USB to look through but he couldn’t keep it with him right now. So he managed to hide it within a vending machine.

**In a hidden bunker that same evening**

Maria Hill fled with Nick Fury to a dam. It was secluded where they could hide Fury. You managed to follow them. You had time before meeting up with Hydra at a secret hideout. You waited until the doors were open and snuck in with them but stayed behind so they wouldn’t hear your steps. You watched and hid as they set Fury up with all the necessary hospital equipment.

“Put your hands up.” Maria Hill caught you. Should’ve know from one of Fury’s own. You stood up slowly and with your hands up as she asked. You turned around slowly.

“You… how did you-“

“Snuck in when you guys went in. Stayed back so I could get distance. Nice hideout by the way.”

“Who are you?”

“Guess no one remembers the history books very well if it’s not about Steve.”

Hill looked shocked.

“When do you think I can talk to Director Fury?” you asked.

“He’s not director anymore.”

“Well what do you want me to call him? Shaft?”

“Funny.”

“Look, I know I’m not to be trusted but check my bag. It’s got all my files. I can wait. Here, I’ll even be by this wall.” With your hands up, you walked to the wall; face to the wall. You heard shuffling from your bag.

“You check out. What’s your M.O.?”

You turn back around, “to leave Hydra. Take ‘em down. They ruined my life and Steve’s. I’m trying to… I’m trying to rectify what I’ve done.”

“What did you do?”

“I’ll explain everything if I can get permission to talk to Dir- Mr. Fury.”

Maria walked past you, “Wait here.” She went past the curtains and a moment later she pulled them back. Fury was all wired up but sitting. He was looking right at you.

“Mr. Fury. I am-“

“I know who you are…agent. Ms. Hill tells me you got some explaining to do.”

“I do, sir. I only got about an hour before I gotta leave.”

“Then make it quick. I wanna sleep.”

“Thank you, sir. First let me apologize about the attack. Unfortunately, I had to call it. The one who attacked you was on my order. I’m sorry, sir.” You may be almost 100 years old but he was still a superior officer. You told them about you, your plan, Hydra’s.

“That’s it, sir.”

“Hm… thank you Agent (l/n).”

“If I may, may I ask if it’s alright to visit again? You can get me an escort if you’re worried about your hideout being discovered.”

“No need. You do that well by yourself. Hill will let you know when Rogers and Romanoff are back. Do you need anything from us?”

“Thank you, sir, and no. Just stay hidden. Now if you’ll excuse me.”


	12. Mission

**Next day**

Bucky had been wiped once more for the next mission. Today though, you play solo. You had no orders from the superiors so you made your way to your desk. You knew Steve would be getting debriefed about the Fury situation at SHIELD. So you wait just at the entrance to the island. STRIKE team were supposed to take him down as he’s now a threat, he was always a threat.

As you predicted, there was more chaos. They tried to stop him with a quinjet but Steve, doing his Captain thing, flees successfully. _Such a Steve thing to do._ You follow him back to the hospital Fury was pronounced dead at. You wait once more and he leaves with a red head. Somehow that gives you a terrible feeling. You wondered if he actually moved on from you and Bucky. Was this red head someone he has an interest in? Was Sharon? _Holy hell…_

They went to a mall and into an Apple store. You were on the bottom floor but you could still see them. The woman had a usb stick with her. _Oh smart. Use the computers here than escape in the crowd._ You knew they only had 6 minutes before STRIKE team arrives at the mall. You look around and you see them within 4 minutes. You watched as they made their way out of the store and down the escalator. You could only watch when Rumlow rides the escalator up and them down. _They’re gonna get caught_. Then time stops for you as you see Steve kiss the red head. Your heart breaks. It’s gotta be some joke. Maybe it was a ploy. Studies show that PDA make people uncomfortable and you doubt Rumlow had any love interests. That has to be it… right?

Just then, your phone goes off.

“This is asset.”

“Hey it’s Rumlow, we got orders. I’ll send you the meeting place.”

“Alright.”

So much for a day off. You left for the meeting.

**On the road somewhere**

Steve and Natasha ride a truck to their next destination.

“Where did Captain America learn how to steal a car?”

“Nazi Germany. And we’re borrowing. Take your feet off the dash,” she does.

“Alright, I have a question for you, oh, which you do not have to answer. I feel like if you don’t answer it though, you’re kind of answering it, you know?”

“What?”

“Was that your first kiss since 1945?”

“That bad, huh?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Well, it kind of sounds like that’s what you’re saying.”

“No, I didn’t. I just wondered how much practice you’ve had.”

“You don’t need practice.”

“Everybody needs practice.”

“… fine, it kinda was my first kiss since 1945. I’m ninety-five, I’m not dead.”

“Nobody special, though?”

He sighs, “Honestly Romanoff, I’ve never given it much thought.”

“It’s them isn’t it?”

“Excuse me?”

“Bucky and (y/n)…” His silence was his answer.

“They’re like your soulmates aren’t they?”

“… they were everything to me. Somehow I feel like they’re alive.”

**At an abandoned Camp Lehigh**

They arrived. It was deserted. Steve and Natasha search the building.

“This is a dead end. Zero heat signature, zero waves, not even radio. Whoever wrote the file must have used a router to throw people off,” Natasha explains. Steve notices something, “What is it?”

He replies, “Army regulations forbid storing ammunition within five hundred yards of the barracks. This building is in the wrong place.”

Steve breaks the lock and enter. It’s an office.

“This is SHIELD.”

“Maybe where it started,” he notices old portraits of Stark, Peggy and Philips. Then he realizes something, “hey, Nat, come here.”

“What is it?”

“If you’re already working in a secret office…” he pushes a set of bookshelves, “Why do you need to hide the elevator?”

They go down further into the rabbit hole. It was another big room filled with old computers.

“This can’t be the data-point, this technology is ancient.” She notices a usb port and puts two and two together. She inserts the usb in.

Initiate system?

“Y-E-S, spells yes,” she smirks and jokes, “shall we play a game?” she looks over to Steve amused with herself, “it’s from a movie that…”

“Yeah, I saw it.” They were startled when a voice started to talk.

[Rogers, Steven. Born, 1918. Romanoff, Natalia Alianovna. Born, 1984]

“It’s some kind of a recording,” she figures.

[I am not a recording, Fraulein. I may not be the man when the Captain took me prisoner in 1945, but I am] The screens filled with a distorted face but Steve recognizes it.

“Do you know this thing?” she asks Steve.

“Arnim Zola was a German scientist who worked for the Red Skull. He’s been dead for years.”

[First correction, I am Swiss. Second, look around you. I have never been more alive. In 1972, I received a terminal diagnosis. Science could not save my body, my mind, however, that was worth saving on two hundred thousand feet of data banks. You are standing in my brain.”

“How did you get here?”

[Invited]

Natasha further explains, “It was Operation Paperclip after World War II. SHIELD recruited German scientists with strategic value.”

[They thought I could help their cause. I also helped my own.]

Zola explained how Hydra survived; Natasha could not believe it. His explanation was a taunt. Confusing and overbearing, Steve smashed a screen mid-explanation but Zola boots back up again.

[How is she captain?]

“Who?”

[Oh she hasn’t come see you yet. Interesting.]

“Who, goddammit, who?!”

[in due time…]

“What’s on this drive,” Steve insists.

[Project Insight requires insight. So I wrote an algorithm.]

“What kind of algorithm? What does it do?”

[The answer to your question is fascinating. Unfortunately, you shall be too dead to hear it.]

They immediately get locked in and a screen pops up of an incoming missile.

“Steve, we got a bogey. Short range ballistic. 30 seconds tops.”

“Who fired it?”

“SHIELD.”

[I am afraid I have been stalling, Captain. Admit it, it’s better this way. Both of us… out of time.]

Steve notices a small opening on the ground, he throws the metal door aside and just as the place explodes he throws himself and Natasha into the hole and protects them with his shield. They just escape just as the STRIKE team. Rumlow sees the footprint left behind by Steve. He calls it in. He makes a decision.

**10:22pm**

You met Pierce at his place. Bucky was already there. You didn’t greet him but sat in the darkness waiting for Pierce to come back. You sat quietly as his maid finishes up her day. Then Pierce comes home. He dismisses the maid and notices you two.

“Good, you two are here. I believe this is the first time we’ve met (l/n)?”

“It is, sir.”

“I’ve heard good things about you. Funny ones too. You don’t like your old codename I hear.”

“It’s a bit old fashioned. It smells of Edo era.”

He gave a low chuckle, “I am a fan of the whole weapon arts thing. In fact, Hydra files show that you’re very skilled.”

You don’t answer.

“Right… You and Winter Soldier here have a new mission. You must take out Captain Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff. Do I make myself clear? Soldat is prepped. I don’t need you to be, do I? I’ve heard those screams. His screams. It’d be a shame for you.”

“May I have permission to ask something?”

“Why, yes. Shoot.”

“I appreciate Hydra not… wiping me but why? It’s just a curious thought.”

“Hm… that is a curious thought. You personally don’t want to be wiped right?”

“No, sir.”

“And of… Soldat? Do you think he can achieve success for us if he’s not wiped?”

You thought about it. Not having him under Hydra would make your plan redundant. He’d be a weakness in your escape plan. For him, to be mindlessly under Hydra made a path to true freedom.

“No… I suppose not.”

“That’s how we feel with you. You’re a smart girl (l/n). Your mind is more valuable for us right now than being a soldier.”

“I understand, thank you for the explanation, sir.”

“Any time. I’ll send a memo out to call you Asset from now on.”

You nod and left with Bucky on your heel. Guess he was staying with you tonight.


	13. Found

**11:54 pm**

A cell phone rings.

“Pierce.”

“Sir, this is Rumlow.”

“Good evening Rumlow, what is it?”

“Sir, may I suggest the assistance of both Assets?”

“I have already given them the order.”

“I understand but _the_ Asset. I highly suggest that she gets wiped too.”

“No… I will not have it.”

“Sir, I’ve seen Cap in the field. Soldat will need back up. I have reason to believe she’s plotting something as well.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes… I’m sorry, sir.”

Pierce grunted, “Do you have proof?”

“I personally hired someone to follow her.”

“I’m not pleased that you did but… meet me tomorrow 7 am sharp.”

“Understood, sir.”

Pierce sits back in his home office with a brandy in one hand. Only the moonlight from between his blinds highlight his eyes. He looks at the open file of you.

“What have you done, Asset?”

**January 11, 2014, 7 sharp**

_Knock, knock, knock_

The door opens and Rumlow steps inside Pierce’s office.

“Sir.”

“Rumlow. Now what have you found?”

**9 am sharp**

Your eyes bolted and you were suddenly pulled from your sleep. Hands over your mouth, you were dazed but shocked when whoever it was dragged you into your living room. You were thrown to the ground with a loud thud.

“What the-” you see Bucky tower over you, “S-Soldat?” Rumlow steps aside behind him.

“Hello Asset.”

“Rumlow what is the meaning of this?!” You shout and quickly get up and stomp up to him. Bucky, though, kicked your legs and you knelt in front of Rumlow. Bucky’s metal hand kept you still; his fingers dug into your skin.

“I know what you’ve been up to.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

_SLAP!_

“Shut up you bitch of a traitor! I knew when they mentioned your so-called ‘mission’ to keep tabs on Captain America, that it was fake.”

You glared at him.

“See, you don’t deny it. Lucky for you, I got the go ahead to wipe ya.”

“What? N-no! Pierce wouldn’t do that! He said to me that my mind was-“

“What? Valuable? Don’t worry, we won’t be freezing you after. Hydra will make sure to keep your pretty little mind in tact,” he said so ‘sweetly’.

Bucky pulled you up but you did your best to struggle out of it but he had chloroform and knocked you out almost instantly.

**9:38 pm**

You woke up. It was a dark room. It reminds you of the time in 1943 when they captured you for the first time. It was hazy. The yellow light barely lit up the room but you saw who was there. Bucky stood guard near the door. Rumlow stood on the other side of the wall with a sly smirk on your face. You finally notice yourself that you’re strapped down. You’re in the chair.

“Aw crap…”

“Crap indeed,” Rumlow teased, “I can’t wait to hear your beautiful screams.”

That twisted your stomach and you trying to hold in the bile that was rising in your throat. He disgusts you the most.

“Fuck you Rumlow,” you hissed.

“Hey, I’m not the traitor here,” he said with his hands up in mock defense.

“You guys are insane!”

“That’s enough!” an old voice shouted. You saw Pierce walk in with a scary face; a face that was expressionless. “Oh Asset…”

“Pierce…”

“Rumlow showed me what you’ve been doing. Unfortunately, I had to do some… assessing. Clearly your handlers were incompetent over the last couple years. How we didn’t see it? I don’t know but they will be taken care of. First things first, you.”

The scientists shoved a mouth guard in you.

“What? No, resisting?”

It’s not like it would matter. You could only glare at him. The metal that kept you down stung at your skin, the contraption entrapped your head and once more since 1943, the whirring sound, the electric shocks, it burned through. You screamed and cried and your hands kept alternating from clenching and unclenching. It was obviously painful; felt like you could just die then and there. Then you heard the words.

_Yume… chie… nijuuichi…_

Each word hurt you more than the last.

_Nendo… yuuki… kyuu…_

Your screams dried your mouth. Your memories, your plan, everything you had worked for… all just leaving you.

_Hi… tayouna… sainou… ishi_

The machine powered down and the chair sat you upright. You panted and caught your breath. The mouth guard was ripped from you and they quickly set you free. You were calm and silent. You were waiting.

“Asset?” Pierce asked.

“Ready to comply.”

Pierce’s grin grew wider while Rumlow’s was wider. Two people were shoved through the door. You recognized them as your handlers. They were brought down kneeling in front of a terrifying version of you. Your eyes were cold. If there was any gleam in your eyes, it was gone and now were darkened; almost demon-like. Pierce gave you your knives.

“Take care of them will you Asset?” He stepped aside and you took aim. The two handlers, in fear of their life barely got up and started to run back to the door until…

_Snikt! Snikt!_

Their corpses drop to the ground. Two perfect head shots and they dropped like flies.

“Now that that’s been taken care of, Asset, Soldier? Get ready for stand by.”

A bit later, Soldat was dressed in all in black. Tactical pads and vest or suited on him. He equips himself with holsters filled with guns. You dress about the same but with fewer guns but filled with knives. Your eyes covered by goggles, Soldat’s hidden with black make-up, both covered with a mask. You two became ready for a battle.

**11:12 am**

Senator Stern and Jasper Sitwell walk outside from a meeting. Stern stopped Sitwell for a bit before he leaves. Meaningless banter really. Stern leaves and Sitwell gets a call.

“Yes, sir?”

“Agent Sitwell,” starts Sam Wilson, “how was lunch? I hear the crab cakes here are delicious.”

Sitwell’s face falls as he’s trying to look around for the unknown threat, “Who is this?”

“The good looking guy in the sunglasses, your ten o’clock.” Missing the first time, he checks once more and he sees Sam sitting at a table just smiling at him.

“There you go,” he mocks.

“What do you want?”

“You’re gonna go around the corner, to your right. There’s a grey car, two spaces down. You and I are gonna take a ride.”

“And why would I do that?” Sitwell calls bluff.

“Because that tie looks really expensive, and I’d hate to mess it up.” Sitwell looks down and sees a laser red dot. He becomes frantic but follows the threat.

On the rooftop of a nearby building, Sitwell is pushed by Steve out the door and across the gravel.

“Tell me about Zola’s algorithm!” Steve orders.

“Never heard of it,” he lies.

“What were you doing on the Lemurian Star?”

“I was throwing up, I get seasick.” Steve pushes him back to the edge and Sitwell’s feet are teetering off, “Is this a little display meant to insinuate that you’re gonna throw me off the roof? Because it’s really not your style, Rogers.”

Steve smirks, “You’re right,” he sets him back in place, “It’s not,” he adjusts Sitwell’s suit jacket, “…it’s hers.” Steve steps aside and Natasha front kicks him off the roof and you can hear Sitwell’s screams echoing down. Natasha and Steve have a playful chat.

“Oh, wait. What about that girl from accounting, Laura…?” Natasha starts trying to figure out the girl’s name.

“Lillian. Lip piercing, right?”

“Yeah, she’s cute.”

“I told you already Nat…”

A pair of wings soar in front of them and Sitwell is thrown back on the rooftop behind the two. Sitwell is scared shitless and confesses.

“Zola’s algorithm i-i-s a p-p-program… f-f-for ch-choosing Insight’s targets!”

“What targets?”

“You! A TV anchor in Cairo, the Undersecretary of defense, anyone who’s a threat to Hydra! Now, or in the future.”

“The future? How could it know?”

Sitwell scoffs, “How could it not? The 21st century is a digital book. Zola taught Hydra how to read it. Your bank records, medical histories voting patterns, emails, phone calls, your damn SAT scores. Zola’s algorithm evaluates people’s past to predict their future.”

“And what then?” Steve lowly asks.

Sitwell talks to himself, “Oh my god… Pierce is gonna kill me.”

Steve grabs Sitwell by the collar, “What then?!”

“Then… the Insight helicarriers scratch people off the list… A few million at a time.”

**1:26 pm**

Sam drives Steve, Natasha and Sitwell back to the Triskelion.

“Hydra doesn’t like leaks,” Sitwell mentions.

“So why don’t you try sticking a cork in it,” tells Sam.

Natasha pops in the conversation, “Insight’s launching in sixteen hours, we’re cutting it a little bit close here.”

“I know,” Steve answers, “We’ll use him to bypass the DNA scans and access the helicarriers directly.”

Sitwell objects to the idea but suddenly you land on the car, startling them, and your hand is soon crashing through his side of the car and throws him into an oncoming truck, instantly killing him. You start shooting at them from above. Natasha moves to the front trying to take cover with Steve and he makes a quick decision to put the car into a halt, shifting the gear to park. You fly off the stopped vehicle but slide back on your feet, with no damage, and your stop with one of your many knives which cut the asphalt with ease. They watch on as you regain your stance. Natasha tries to ready her gun but just then an armoured truck smashes into their rear and they are pushed forward towards you. You flip onto their car again and hang on the roof. Sam tries to stop by braking and Natasha is blindly finding her gun. You reach through the windshield and tear the steering wheel out of the car. Natasha finally finds her gun and starts shooting at you. You jump to the armoured car and hang off the front.

The truck speeds up and crashes into the rear again of their car. Steve quickly fastens his shield against his door, “Hang on!” The door breaks off as the car tumbles in front of them and they’re sliding on the highway. Sam rolls off while Steve and Natasha slow down. Your truck halts and you jump off. The soldiers follow you and they handed you a grenade launcher. You shot right at Steve and he blocked it with his shield but he went flying over the ramp and into a bus below. The bus is totaled by an 18-wheeler and the bus goes flipping.

Back on the bridge, Sam and Natasha move while taking cover behind stopped cars as the soldiers keep shooting at them. You take aim once more and shoot another grenade at Natasha. She flies off the highway but hooks on to the edge and she swings on the road below safely. You were given a rifle and scanned underneath. You could not find her but she found you. She shot at you making you cover behind the edge. There was a crack in your goggles so you took them off. You felt an anger. You knew you were better than this. You had to eliminate her. You two had a rally of bullets but she ran. Guns were never your style, so you discarded it. _“She’s mine,”_ you say in Japanese to the other soldiers and they disperse.

You jump over the edge on top of a car, crashing it beneath you. You march forward trying to find her. The other soldiers jump down via wires. Few rifles, one giant machine gun shreds through the bus Steve is in. Steve amazingly dodges the bullets and jumps through the rear window and successfully retrieves his shield. He shields himself against the bombarding bullets.

On top, Sam is equipped with a knife. He just misses the Hydra soldier over the edge but is met with Soldat’s fist as he’s turned around. Sam puts up a fight against him. He manages to get the grenade launcher and launches one at the nearby car and blasts Soldat over the edge. He switches to an abandoned rifle and covers Steve. Sam takes out two gun men while Steve takes out another two with recoiling bullets from his shield. Steve charges forward at the soldier with the machine gun and flips over him bashes him against the car he’s on and finally takes him out. Sam continues to cover Steve, “I got this. Go!” Steve runs.

You stalk down the street, ignoring the unimportant civilians. Soldat found you and both of you scanned the area. As you marched forward, Soldat notices a sound. He stops near a car. He takes out a bomb and rolls it underneath. Unfortunately, Natasha was smart and hid a voice decoy. When the bomb ignited, Soldat was a bit surprised that she had come up behind him. She uses her specialty move and wraps her legs around his head. She makes him step back with a wire trapping his hand against his face. You realize this but before you could throw one of your knives at her to save Soldat, Steve stops you with a side kick. You fumble back and hold your side. Soldat manages to tear her off him but she demobilizes his metal arm. She manages to run and alert the other straggling people to run like hell. His arm goes limp and rips off the gadget and shakes it off and continues to go after her. He finds her and shoots at her. He jumps on a car and takes aim but Sam knocks him off, continuing to put up another fight against him.

You glare at Steve and he glares back. You exhale once and charge after him. He blocks your hit and tries to hit you with his shield. You both bob and weave through each other. You jump kick him back, making him fly a few feet. You reach your belt and throw knives at him few by few. He deflects them and rolls behind his shield. You reach him and go back to hand to hand. You catch his shield and flip him over and kick him back. You disarmed him and wield his shield. He sees you hold it. Without a second to think, he runs back at you and you strongly threw his shield which quickly dodges and it wedges into the van behind him. He keeps coming at you as you ready your knife once more. You make an effort to get a hit on him, even able to flip it once before he manages to land a punch at your face and does a spinning back kick to your front and you go flying into another vehicle. He flies at you with a knee to the chest but you continue to fight back not registering the pain but he manages to one up you by flipping you on your back to the ground. You got up and grabbed his neck and throw him backwards, past a car. You go after him trying to grab him on the ground but he dodges and backs away to the same van his shield is lodged into. You throw a knife at him for distraction and for a split second, he notices something familiar on the blade. You come at him with yet another knife but he manages to move your hand to the side and you two slid across the side of the van as your knife cut through the metal. You fall back as Steve recoiled himself and grabbed his shield.

You try to hit him once more but he grabbed your mask and flipped you over sending you flying _once again_ several feet away from him. Soldat then gets kicked back by Sam who has also managed to unmask him. You fix yourself and stand up along with Soldat. You both turned to the duo in front of you. Steve recognizes who you guys are.

“Bucky? (y/n)?”

“Who the hell is Bucky?” Soldat says but you recognize the name. Both his and what you think is yours. You set yourself up to throw a knife one more time but a grenade launches at you and Soldat and you two duck for cover. The smoke gave you the cover up to get away. The STRIKE team had informed you and him of their arrival and they would handle it from there. Soldat and you met at a rendezvous with another team.

Steve, Natasha and Sam are surrounded by STRIKE and are cuffed and placed in a van to go back to the Triskelion. On the ride, Steve speaks up.

“It was them. They looked right at me like they didn’t even know me.”

“How’s that even possible? It was like seventy years ago,” Sam asks.

“Zola. Bucky’s whole unit was captured in ’43, Zola experimented on him. (y/n) was taken in Brooklyn and also experimented on by a guy named Takamura. Whatever he did helped Bucky survive the fall. Whatever Takamura did also helped survive the crash. They…”

“None of that’s your fault, Steve,” assures Natasha.

“Even when I had nothing, I had them.”

Sam notices Natasha bleeding out from her shoulder, “We need to get a doctor here. We don’t put pressure on that wound she’s gonna bleed out here in the truck.”

The guard didn’t like the yap so he took out an electric rod but was quickly disarmed and knocked out by the other guard beside him. The guard took off the helmet and Maria Hill was revealed.

“Ahh, that thing was squeezing my brain,” she notices Sam, “Who’s this guy?

In your own van, you quickly started to questioned your actions and memories that flooded in. One seemed to be recent and a bunker came to mind. That had to mean something. You knew where this hidden spot is but you had a feeling you shouldn’t speak up. You made a reckless decision and jumped out of the van. The door broke your fall but the van halted mid-traffic. Soldat resurfaced with the intent to retrieve you. You looked back and you knew you had one thing to do. Run. You grabbed a passing motorcycle and pushed off the rider. You sped away but the only one who followed you was the Winter Soldier on another bike. You had to lose him somehow. You weaved in between traffic and after a few moments of quick thinking, you abandoned the bike. The Winter Soldier had lost you and you were going in the complete opposite direction hiding behind an RV holding onto the side with one of your knives. As soon as you were far enough, you hopped off near an exit and hijacked an abandoned bike and rode off to the familiar hidden location.

After losing you, the Winter Soldier retreated back into the van. Something about chasing you was for a different reason. It wasn’t for Hydra certainly. It was for him. As soon as the blond man from the bridge said your name, he remembered some things almost instantly. He remembered a haze of memories that involved snow, a lab, and a scientist telling him about being the new fist of Hydra. Then your face came into view with a huge smile on your face. One flashback was of you in a pretty pink, flowery dress and your hair all done up. Another was when you were in one of the holding cells back in Serbia. Why did he remember you like that? The blond also came into mind when he what seems to be his name. Bucky? Who the hell was Bucky? All of these thoughts as his arm was being repaired from the battle.

Pierce walks into the bank vault, where they repairing him in the chair. A scientist warns him that Soldat is unstable and erratic but he simply brushes him off.

“Where is Asset?” he asked a soldier on the side.

“I’m sorry sir, she ran.”

He looked over to the scientist, “Why do you think that is?”

“I could only guess that she hasn’t been in the chair as long as the Winter Soldier has. She’s only been experimented on in ’43 and this morning. Think about it Mr. Pierce. The more time in the chair, the more it’s going to affect how they remember their memories.”

Pierce simply grunted and towers over a distraught looking Winter Soldier. He leans down to his eye level, “Mission report.”

“The man on the bridge… Who was he?”

“You met him earlier this week on another assignment.”

“I knew him. I knew her too. My partner. The other Asset,” he stated sadly.

“You’re our only Asset now. She’s gone rogue and she is to be one of your targets.”

“But-“

“Your work has been a gift to mankind. You shaped the century, and I need you to do it one more time. Society is at a tipping point between order and chaos. Tomorrow morning we’re gonna give it a push. But, if you don’t do your part, I can’t do mine, and Hydra can’t give the world the freedom it deserves.”

“But… I knew them.”

Pierce became unsatisfied and turned to the scientists, “Prep him.”

“He’s been out of cryo-freeze too long,” said the scientist.

“Then wipe him and start over.”

He is pushed back and prepped for wiping. The chair leans back and once more the whirring of electricity shock him through and through. No one but the people inside hear his screams.


	14. How?

**Hidden bunker**

Hill had managed to escape with the three and back at the underground bunker where Fury is kept. Natasha and Steve were relieved to see Fury. As soon as he was able to move, they all reconvened at a table set up and plan an attack strategy. Fury looks at a photo of Pierce.

“This man declined the Nobel Peace Prize. He said, ‘Peace wasn’t an achievement, it was a responsibility.’ See, it’s stuff like this that give me trust issues.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” All heads turned to you. Natasha, Sam, even Steve took a defensive stance. Fury, though, walked up to you and you two shook hands. The three were confused and looked to Hill and even she was unfazed about the interaction.

“Fury, what are you doing? She attacked us,” warned Natasha.

“Did she?” he turned to you, “Did you?”

“It wasn't me,” you said with confidence.

“Mind tricks again huh…”

“I guess so. Fury right? I’m sorry, memory is a bit fuzzy right now. All I remembered is this place,” you looked to the three, “I’m sorry. I know you have no reason to trust me but as far as my gut feeling and memory serves, I think I met up with these two prior the battle.” You looked to Steve. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. You walked over to him.

“You’re… the Captain?” He quickly hugged you tightly but you didn’t hug him back.

“You’re here. You’re actually here,” his voice broke as he whispered into your ear. The timbre of his voice resonated within you and you knew you knew him. He parted and held your head in his hands looking deep into your eyes, “But how?”

“I can explain that in a bit later,” you smiled solemnly. He released you and the conversation continued. Hill carried in a case with three cards inside.

“What’s that?” asked Sam.

“Thanks to (y/n), we were able to know the plan of attack from Hydra. We just needed time to make these and the right opportunity. Now is the best and only time. Once the helicarriers reach 3000 ft, they’ll triangulate with Insight satellites becoming fully weaponized.”

Fury continued to explain, “We need to breach those carriers and replace their targeting blades with our own.”

“One or two won’t cut it. We need to link all three carriers for this to work, because if even of those ships remains operational, a whole lot of people are gonna die,” you clarified.

“Someone knows her tech better than Cap,” teased Natasha.

“I have a feeling I was always the smarter one,” you joked. It brought a fond smile to both you and Steve. “You were,” replied Steve.

Nick coughed to get your attention, “We have to assume everyone aboard those carriers is Hydra. We need to get past them, insert the server blades, and maybe, just maybe, we can salvage what’s left.”

“We’re not salvaging anything. We’re not just taking down the carriers, Nick, we’re taking down SHIELD,” Steve said frankly.

“SHIELD had nothing to do with it.”

“Actually, he’s right. I was there. Hydra has been growing even from before two years ago, from since Zola’s so-called help. It’s all the bullshit they say about heads or what not.”

“Hydra grew under your nose and nobody noticed,” Steve added.

“Why do you think we’re meeting in this cave? I noticed.”

“And how many people paid the price before you did?”

“Look, I didn’t know about Barnes,” Fury looked to you.

“Sorry again, I guess I had a reason for him to be kept a secret.”

“Even if you have,” Steve kept going, “would you have told me? Or would you have compartmentalized that too? SHIELD? Hydra? It all goes.”

Maria agreed and everyone else followed.

“Well… Looks like you’re giving the orders now, Captain.”

It was time to gear up soon. You caught up with the red head.

“Hey…”

“Hey. (y/n) right? I’m Natasha.”

“Nice to meet you. Look, I got something to ask.”

“Okay, shoot,” she said in a strange but calm manner.

“Recent memories have been resurfacing while coming here and even during the plan meeting. One of them was of you and him kissing.” Nat knew what you were referring to.

“You were there?”

“I guess I was. I know I have strong feelings for the Captain-“

“Steve. Steve Rogers.”

“Right… I might even be recovering memories of us together. I don’t know if it’s real but I know that it hurt seeing you kiss him.”

She simply chuckled, “Don’t worry honey. He loves you and your other boy toy. He hasn’t gone on dates since he came out of the ice. Avengers honour,” she mocked a scout’s honour motion.

“Can I trust you?”

“The real question is can I trust you?” she countered.

“I guess that is a question. I’m sorry. If you have feelings for him and if he-“

She grabbed your shoulders, “Stop it with the guessing and the sorrys. You are it. You and Bucky. You are it for him. End of story.” At the corner of your eye, you saw Steve walk by and towards the door to the outside.

“Go talk to him.”

“Thank you.”

You followed Steve. When you got outside, he was standing on the bridge.

**_“We looked for you after. My folks wanted to give you a ride to the cemetery.”_ ** _You three walked up the steps to Steve’s apartment._

_“I know guys, I’m sorry. I just… kind of wanted to be alone.”_

_ “How was it?” _

_“It was okay. She’s next to dad.”_

_ “I was gonna actually ask-“ _

_“I know what you’re gonna say, (y/n), I just…”_

**_“Come on. We can put the couch cushions together on the floor like when we were kids. It’ll be fun. (y/n/n) will be there too won’t you?”_ **

_You nodded._

**_“All you gotta do is shine my shoes, maybe take out the trash. Keep me company_ ** _,” he winked. Steve kept fumbling around his jacket and trouser pocket before you kicked a brick over and retrieved the spare key underneath._

_“Thank you guys, but I can get by on my own.”_

**_“The thing is, you don’t have to. Right doll?”_ ** _Bucky slaps a hand on Steve’s shoulder._

_ “We’re with you to the end of the line, pal,” _ _you stated as-a-matter-of-fact like while placing your hand on his other shoulder._

“What were you thinking about?”

He snapped out of his daze, “Oh… uh… Our past. It was around the time my ma passed away.”

“Her name was… Sarah?”

“Yeah… you’re getting your memories back.”

“Pieces… it hurts a little but it’s coming along. A little too quick, unfortunately.”

“You gonna explain to me how you’re here?” he asked slipping behind you and trapping you against the ledge of the bridge, nuzzling into your neck. It was a little weird for you but you let it happen.

“Sure Steve.” And you did. You told him that the super soldier serum was created somehow and that’s why you’re alive. How you were following him the whole time and you guessed you actually did retrieve most, if not all, of your memories within the past two years. You could only assume why everything about you and Bucky had to be made secret until the right time. All this made him tear up. His tears dropped onto your bruised skin. You turned around and looked up at him. Your hand raised up to his cheek and you tried to wipe away the hurt.

“I know it hurts. I hurt you once and I did it again. I always felt guilty.”

“No, (y/n/n),” the nickname was so warm and fuzzy, “it wasn’t your fault. It never was. I should’ve stayed home with you. You wouldn’t have gotten into all of this if I had just stayed home.”

“But that would’ve meant you gave up your dream. Plus, I think I wouldn’t have minded to see this new you.” He smiled and gave you a tight hug.

“He’s gonna be there you know,” you said.

“I know.”

“Bucky… right?”

“Yeah…”

“He’s changed but it’s not him. Like how I wasn’t me. I’m sure he feels just as guilty as I do. But we can’t save him if we don’t stop him.”

“I don’t know if I can do that baby.”

“Me neither but we got to. He won’t know us. They’ve probably got him wiped already.”

“He will. Just like you did. We just gotta try harder. Come on. Time to gear up.”

“You’re not wearing that are you?” you teased.

“No. If you’re gonna fight a war, you gotta wear a uniform. You know that.”

“I sure do, Captain.”

“Gosh, I still love the way you say that.”

“Captain is kinky is he? Mission first then sexy times later.”

“You’re so sure we’ll make it?”

“If it’s you, Steve, we will. Now come on. I think I know where you want to go get our uniforms.”

**January 12, 2014, 12:49 am**

You and Steve rode back to the Smithsonian and quickly stole back your uniforms from the war. The guard took one good look at the mannequins and found that yours and Steve’s uniforms were gone.

“Oh, man. I am so fired!”

**6:30 am**

You geared up back at the bunker. Steve’s old suit was in the old-fashioned design; big white star in the middle, white and red stripes covered the abdomen as straps ran up his torso., blue covered the shoulders and he wore red gloves and boots. His helmet was blue and a giant, white A graced the front as it covered half of his face and secured with a chin strap. Your suit was a dark green fitted button up and you wore beige cargo pants. You kept the the pads from the old Hydra uniform and the bulletproof vest. It’s not like you had time to upgrade. Your army green boots reached to your knees and you wore slim black gloves. You had pockets and straps full of your knives that you managed to keep and left only one strap for a pistol. You wore a black bandana around your forehead. You also kept the mask. You had to admit, once you put on that mask, you would look pretty badass. Steve stood behind you and looked to you from the mirror.

“Wow, (y/n/n). Like old times.”

“With added modifications but yeah.” He was really close to you.

“Um… can I… can I get one kiss before we leave? Just in case something happens.”

“Captain… always so innocent.” He gently took your face and pressed his lips against yours. It was sweet and short. His lips were soft and you remembered that. You two parted and he looked into your eyes.

“I’m with you til the end of the line babygirl.”

“I’m with you til the end of the line,” you repeated. Natasha called you two over and it was finally time to go.


	15. Til the End of The Line

[Attention, all SHIELD agents. This is Steve Rogers. You’ve heard a lot about me over the last few days, some of you were even ordered to hunt me down. But I think it’s time you know the truth. SHIELD is not what we thought it was, it’s been taken over by Hydra. Alexander Pierce is their leader. The STRIKE and Insight crew are Hydra as well. I don’t know how many more, but I know they’re in the building. They could be standing right next to you. They almost have what they want: absolute control. They shot Nick Fury and it won’t end there. If you launch those helicarriers today, Hydra will be able to kill anyone that stands in their way, unless we stop them. I know I’m asking a lot, but the price of freedom is high, it always has been, and it’s a price I’m willing to pay. And if I’m the only one, then so be it. But I’m willing to bet I’m not.]

**At dispatch communications**

Rumlow walks up to one of the tech men.

“Preempt the launch sequence. Send those ships up now,” The tech is hesitant, “is there a problem?” Rumlow had a dead look in his eyes.

“I’m…” the tech is shaken and nervous.

“Is… there a problem?” He asks loudly.

“I’m sorry sir,” the tech speaks up, “I’m not gonna launch those ships. Captain’s orders.”

Unhappy with the non-compliance, he points his gun at the tech’s head, “Move away from your station.”

Sharon, who was in the room, pointed her gun at Rumlow.

“Like he said,” other SHIELD agents point their guns at Rumlow and other traitors, “Captain’s orders.”

“You pick the wrong side, Agent.”

“Which agent you talking to?”

Rumlow turned around and saw you in your new-old outfit.

“Well if it isn’t the bitch traitor Asset.”

“it’s (y/n).”

“Oh? You got your memories back pretty quick. How’d you do that?” he asked in feign curiosity.

“Put the gun down Dumblow.”

“I don’t know… his brains would like nice across the-“ you disarmed and punched Rumlow in the face.

“You talk too much,” you walk to Sharon, taking your mask off, and greet her, “Hey girl.”

“Agent (y/n).”

“Please, just (y/n).”

“What’s the next plan?”

“Next plan is to-” you turn around and find that Rumlow had made his escape, abandoning the remaining Hydra agents.

“Aw, crap. Uh, Sharon I need you to round up Hydra here. Rumlow is mine.”

You chased after Rumlow after spotting him going into the stairwell. You ended up at the 41st floor and trapped Rumlow in the office.

“No where to run Dumblow.”

“Who said anything about running?”

“Oh you’re gonna fight? You’re pretty ass at that.”

“What did you say about talking?” Rumlow engaged and you quickly judo flipped him on his back and went for the face. He rolled and dodged your punch.

“Oh ho ho, you actually made a dent in the floor. That’s using your super soldier serum seriously.”

“Shut up.” You charged at him and laid some kicks which he defended against but you switched to hands. You kept alternating and even flipping here and there for more power, you even got your mask pulled off but he ended pushing you out the window. You fell but you felt something pull you up.

“Sam!”

“Hey (y/n/n), you should be with Cap.”

“But-“

“I’ll handle him, this is between you, him, and the Winter Soldier.”

“That’s not his name.”

“Yeah well… that’s what he is right now.”

He dropped you at Charlie. You wanted to say thanks but he got shot down and became grounded.

“You okay Wilson?”

“Grounded but I’ll get Rumlow. Go!”

You searched for Steve. You found him and he almost got Charlie on lock but you saw Bucky in his way and both of them were in a stand off.

“Steve… Bucky…”

“(y/n), get back.”

**“Asset, what are you doing here?”**

“Steve this is much as my fight as it is yours. C’mon Buckaroo? I’m not an Asset anymore. Never was, never will. You aren’t either. Bucky please.”

“People are gonna die, Buck. I can’t let that happen. Please don’t make us do this.” The Winter Soldier looked down on him. Steve’s demeanour changed from a broken hearted boy to the Captain. He threw his shield at him prompting you to move too. Bucky block his attack with his metal arm and he regained his shield blocking all of Bucky’s bullets. Somehow, Bucky managed to knick him on the side. In retaliation, Steve shoved Bucky backwards and he flew a few feet. You went past Steve to get a crack at Bucky. You and him clashed in a battle of knives. Sharp sounds crackled as your blades hit, as if it was in harmony. You read his attacks so well. You managed to create distance for a chance for Steve to lock the helicarrier. Bucky noticed and soon pushed past you and push kicked Steve away from the mechanism. Steve came back a him with more fight as the mechanism switched levels so the cards were reachable. He managed to push Bucky off and pull one of the cards out but he came right back. You shook off the pain as you noticed you got stabbed on the side when Bucky pushed you. Deciding to keep it in to avoid more bleeding, you rejoined the fight. You, Steve, and Bucky had a three-way fight but Soldat had had enough. He grabbed you and Steve and jumped over the ledge to another below. You rolled to the floor below while they stayed above. The knife pushed deeper and you groaned. You couldn’t move so much anymore as the pain jolted through your veins. Your eyes were getting hazy but you couldn’t give up. Not now.

Steve and Bucky still fought. It was a race against time now and you couldn’t do anything. Unless… you gathered what little strength you had and as best you can, threw your last knife at Bucky. It got lodged in his thigh and he stopped and yelled. Steve had a chance to lock but the card fell as Bucky persisted to fight him. You eyes grew heavy and you couldn’t stay awake anymore, “fuck…”

“(y/n)!” Steve called. He saw you pass out. He had to finish this once and for all. He chased after the fallen card but his shield was thrown at him. Before Bucky could, he shielded himself again from his bullets but that was only enough distraction before Steve decided to throw it back. Bucky’s metal arm deflected it and they went at it again. Steve failed to defend as Bucky pushed the knife he had in his hand into his shoulder. A couple head-butts in, Bucky threw Steve to the side and they soon were wrestled for the card. Steve grabbed him by the throat, lifted Bucky in the air, then flipped him onto the glass floor. Steve was really trying not to break Bucky’s arm.

“Drop it! Drop it!” He had no choice. Steve broke his arm and the pain made Bucky’s scream echo through the helicarrier. The card dropped and the Winter Soldier had one arm to work with. Steve switched angles and put Soldat in a headlock and locked his legs around the metal arm. Soldat struggled so hard but passed out and his hold on the card lessened. Steve quickly grabbed and went.

-Thirty seconds, Cap- he heard Maria in his ear.

He climbed and climbed. Bucky had woken up and started shooting at him. He got shot in the thigh, almost his hands but he made it. He limped over, “Stand by… urgh… Charl-” _BANG!_ Steve dropped and he noticed his breath straggling. He looks down to see that he got shot right in the abdomen. _Not yet_ he told himself. He manages to get up and place the card in the mechanism and the system had overridden.

“Charlie locked.” Maria watches her screen as the targets adjusted from millions to just three.

-Okay, Cap, get out of there.”

“Fire now.”

-But, Steve-

“Do it! Do it now!”

The guns shot each other causing the helicarriers to blow and go down. Charlie was falling and Steve heard Bucky scream under a fallen beam. Steve rushes in to help him. Bucky removes himself and starts wailing punches at Steve in anger.

“You know me,” he said softly. Steve was about to go unconscious from the lack of blood.

“No, I don’t!” Bucky’s head was swarming with conflicting thoughts.

“Bucky, you’ve known me your whole life. You know her,” Bucky side glances for a moment where you lay. Bucky continues his rampage. “You’re James… Buchanan… Barnes,” he gasped between each punch. “I’m not gonna fight you. I love you.”

“No…” he continues… “No!! You’re my mission!”

“Then finish it.” Cap’s face was all bloodied, an eye swollen from the punches and with one last breath before he passes out, “‘cause I’m with you to til the end of the line.”

_Snap_

Bucky froze in his spot. He knew him. He knew you. He’s starting to remember. The floor fell underneath and he watched as you and Steve fell through and into the Potomac river.

_I have to help them._

Bucky jumps and gathers you two. With one last bit of adrenaline, he worked through the pain and dragged the both you onto shore. Bucky looks at Steve, now guilty for what he did. He looks to you and relieved you were still alive despite bleeding out while they were fighting. He kneels beside you. His hand brushed through your hair and he could tell there was a pull to him and the two of you. He kisses your forehead before reaching over and kissing Steve’s too.

“I gotta go,” he says to your unconscious states, “I can’t be around you right now. I know that. I’m sorry you two. I really am.” He stifles a sob but holds back, “When I’m ready, I’ll come find you two. You’re safer with each other. Goodbye. I…I love you too.” He stands up and walks away.

A couple of days later, Steve wakes up to the sound of something vaguely familiar. It’s Marvin Gaye’s _Trouble Man_ that Sam had suggested.

“On you left,” said Steve. Steve slowly looks over and sees Sam where he is but also sees your sleeping form behind him. Deciding not to talk, he goes back to rest.

Another few days later, team Cap meet Fury at the cemetery. They all gather around Fury’s ‘grave’.

“Speak of the devil, here he is,” said Natasha. Fury walks up in a hoodie and sunglasses.

“So, you’ve experienced this sort of thing before?” he asked Steve.

“You get used to it.”

“We’ve been data-mining Hydra’s files. Looks like a lot of rats didn’t go down with the ship. I’m headed to Europe tonight, wanted to ask if you’d come.”

“There’s something I gotta do first,” Steve admitted.

“How about you, Wilson? Could use a man with your abilities.”

“I’m more of a soldier than spy,” he answered.

“Alright then. Any body asks for me, tell them where they can find me. Right here.” Fury walks away leaving the four of you.

“You should be honoured, that’s about as close as he gets to saying a thank you,” Natasha mentioned.

“Not going with him?”

“No.”

“Not staying here?”

“I blew all my covers, I gotta go figure out a new one.”

“That might take a while,” you added.

“I’m counting on it. See you two lovebirds. Wilson.” Natasha walks away.

“You’re going after him?” Sam asks you two.

“You don’t have to come with us.”

“I know. When do we start?”


	16. Solo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some sexy times ahead but something happens to the reader. Read on?

You went back to your apartment. The landlady saw the damage and replaced your door. She always thought you were a good person. Your belongings were scattered from when Rumlow’s B&E.

“You lived here the whole time?”

“Yeah… uh they gave me a place to live. Mainly to be away from Bucky. We were too close in Serbia.”

“Serbia?”

“Yeah… they held him and I there. He’s always been cryo-frozen”

“Oh… so you two…”

“He and I didn’t know each other then Steve. All I knew was that I was asleep for 70 years. The past two years, I did eventually remember everything. Since the day you saved me from those bullies all those years ago.”

He hugged from behind and you let your tears fall.

“Shh… Baby I’m here. I won’t leave you again.”

“Steve…”

He kissed you tenderly but also so desperate. He finally has you in his arms and him in yours. You sifted through into his hair; you crave him. It was killing you that you’re going to have to hurt him again afterwards. You kept that thought in the back of your mind. All you wanted was Steve.

“We gotta make this count, Captain.”

“I know. Bucky’s missing out.”

You both promised to fuck the shit out of each other not just for you two, but for Bucky.

He grabbed your hair just enough for you to feel it as his lips came crashing down on you, he slipped his tongue in and you both fought for dominance. You tugged on his shirt wanting to rip it off from the buttons but changed your mind to simply unbuttoning him. You admired the six pack he had, it was rock hard but soft at the same time. You traced the scar from the bullet where Bucky shot him.

“Does it hurt?”

“No, not anymore doll.”

You started to lower yourself and you kissed his scar. It stung Steve in the best way he imagined. Your soft lips on him, like you were worshipping his body. You unbuckled his pants and tugged his trousers down.

“You’re gonna have to get new bottoms Stevie. You’re a bit outta style.”

“Maybe you can help me in the changing room.”

“ooh, I like that idea.”

He wore baby blue boxer briefs and you can already see his bulge growing. You teased him but kissing it through the fabric. Steve was coming undone before you. He moaned as you were so close but so far from what he wanted.

“Please babygirl. I want you.”

“Then let’s take it to the bedroom.” You dragged him into your room and slammed him against the door. You shared a sloppy kiss while your hand groped his bulge, “Aw fuck. C’mon baby, can I have your mouth on me please?”

“As you order, Captain,” you felt his cock twitch beneath the boxer briefs. You slid them down as you did and he sprang in front of you.

“Just like you remembered it?”

“I think better Captain,” you licked ever so lightly making Steve shiver. Your tongue ran up his shaft until you got to the head. You went further by adding more pressure. You were toying with him and Steve was going crazy. His breath already ragged.

“Don’t tell me you’re gonna cum with just my tongue. I haven’t even sucked it yet.”

“I know but it’s been so long,” he whined.

You hummed as you started to roll his balls and just started to suck on just the head.

“Oh god…” he moaned.

“My boy missed me so much?”

“Fuck…”

“tsk tsk… were you like this with Bucky? Did he always make you so needy?”

“Yes…”

“Yes what?” you went down a bit deeper.

“Ohhh… nnggh… yes… ma’am.”

“You’re doing so well for me baby.” Your throat took all of him and he was melting. Your mouth was so warm and tight that he could explode any second. You bobbed your head and he started to reach the back of your throat. Steve held onto your head and started moving his hips. He was desperate for release. With wanton need, he fucked your face and tears ran down your face. You took it well, being a super soldier and all, but his cock grew a bit more in your mouth that you knew he was going to burst. A few more thrusts and he stilled. Your nose right up against his skin as he coated your mouth with his seed. You came off him and gasped for air.

“Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you did I?” he asked with worry in his eyes.

“I’m okay. That was… wow.”

“Now it’s my turn. Come on. On the bed.”

You did as he told and you lay on your back. He crawled over you and trapped you under his body. He kissed you and he can taste himself from your mouth. He slowly moved his kisses down your neck, to your collarbone, he gently took your bra off. His touch was sensational. His hands roamed wherever he wanted and that’s all you wanted.

“I’m going to be in charge now. Okay?”

“Yes Captain.”

“Good girl.” He continued down and nibbled at one of your tits while a hand was kneading the other. He was playing your body like a fiddle. Hot gasps and moans escaped your mouth and it was like music to Steve’s ears. The pain from him biting down a little on your nipples sent an electric jolt and your eyes shut tightly. You liked that pain. You knew he was never going to hurt you. He moved downwards a bit more and his lips reached your stomach. It tickled a little when his hands roamed your sides softly and his kisses around your navel.

“Mmm.”

“You like that baby?” He licked your body and it was one of the most satisfying thing. You desperately wanted more of his touch.

“Stevieee…” his fingers hooked to your panties and pulled them off. His hands went under your thighs and he spread you.

“You smell amazing doll,” he licked you quickly though your folds.

“Holy shit!” you gasped.

He licked his lips, “Taste just how I imagined.” He returned and his tongue explored your sex. It was a sensation you remembered from when Bucky did it but Steve was a lot gentler. He was that altogether. His tongue entered your hole a few times and drove you mad. Then he moved up a bit and he was circling your clit. You were dizzy with pleasure and you were sure you were getting louder and louder. Steve was so turned on from your moans; his once soft dick was becoming hard again. He made his own moans which vibrated through your core.

“Fuck… I’m close.”

“Cum babygirl. I wanna feel you over my mouth.” You came undone and your body convulsed but Steve held down your body. He felt your juices splurged in his mouth and then cleaned you up. You twitch with his tongue gently going through you once more but you came down your high. He brought himself up and kissed you sweetly. You could taste yourself on his tongue and it was bittersweet. You made out for a bit and as you two did, you started to jerk him off.

“What would you like princess?”

“I want you inside.”

“Okay baby.” You two made a little more while he got you wanting more as he gently rubbed over your clit and your hand on his dick. You got on top and it was safe to say that Steve was loving the view. Your boobs were on display and your pussy practically rubbing against him, you aligned yourself ad slowly sat down. He filled you up inch by inch and you could feel him against your g-spot.

“Mmmm fuck Captain.”

“You’re gonna ride me baby?” with no verbal answer you started to grind and to him that was a resounding yes.

“So tight, so warm.”

“And you’re so big.”

You started to bounce a little adding more friction and you both moan at the pleasure. He needed a bit more so he flipped you over on your back again and he started to pound into you. It was glorious as skin slapped against skin, you held onto dear life to the sheets.

“Fuck I’m close babygirl,” he huffed.

“Me too Stevie.” He leaned over and gave you a kiss and on time you both came at the same time. His hips a little shaky but you felt the liquid fill you and his cock pump inside you. He felt your walls convulse around him. He slowly pulled out and quickly went to the washroom and grabbed a damp washcloth as wiped you down. Too lazy to go back to the washroom, he threw the cloth on the ground and joined you under the blanket. He cuddle against your back and nuzzled in your neck.

“Good (y/n/n)?”

“That was amazing baby.”

“I’m glad. Bucky was my first to actually be on top. I’m so glad I could do a good job with you.”

You share one last kiss before sleep takes you both.

Early next morning, you woke up. Steve was no longer draped over you but still very knocked out. He let out some soft snores and you only remembered that means he’s in a deep sleep. You snuck out of your bed and quickly got cleaned up and dressed. Thankfully he hasn’t woken up while in the shower. With no time to waste, you grabbed a bag that you have already pre-packed in case something happened and made your way to the fire escape but you stopped. You saw the notepad on your coffee table and quickly wrote a note for Steve to see. You went to the door and pinned the note with your knife. You left your key and a burner phone on the kitchen counter and looked around one last time. You have everything but Steve and that broke your heart. You didn’t want to leave him but you needed to take care of something and only you could do it. You stepped out on to the fire escape and made your way to wherever you planned to.


	17. Separate Ways

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's super short sorry guys

**Several hours after (y/n) left**

Steve woke up to an empty bed.

“(y/n/n)?” he called. He put on his boxer briefs and searched the apartment for you but he didn’t. Just the note you pinned on the door with one of your knives.

_No…_

You couldn’t have…

He ripped the paper and read it to himself:

_Stevie,_

_My love, I’m so sorry for leaving you again. I’m so sorry for hurting you again. There’s something I need to do and I can’t have you with me. We are changed people and I’m sure if you had come with me, everything I do would be on my conscience. I’d feel guilty. The things I plan to do are not morally good. You are the symbol of that and I can’t have you stop me. You go find Bucky. Bring him back to us. I know you and Sam can do it. I left the key to my place if you want to stay. Nothing was really broken when Rumlow broke in and the landlady will understand. I also left a burner phone if you ever really need me for something like another battle. One last thing, Bucky’s file is in my closet in a filing box. I hope that helps your search._

_I fucking love you and it hurt to write this letter. Be safe, come back to me alive._

_Yours always,_

_(y/n/n)_

He dropped to the ground and he was alone again. He couldn’t believe you’d leave him. What was your mission? But he couldn’t give up on you or Bucky. He tried to understand your reason and as terrible as what you’re planning to do, but he needed to have faith that you’ll come back to him alive and well. He wiped his tears and cleaned up. It’s time to start searching for Bucky.

**At a nearby café**

Steve met up with Sam.

“So she left?”

“Yeah…”

“And you’re just gonna sit here and not go after her?”

“Sam! She left a note. I trust her. Her mission is whatever it is but ours is trying to find Bucky.”

“I hope both of you know what you’re doing.”

“I hope so too…”

**On a flight to Japan**

You went through the files you brought. It was a Hydra file on Takamura. You couldn’t let him experiment on anyone else. 3 super soldiers were all the world can handle. No one really knew that Bucky was alive nor you. People obviously knew Steve was one and he’s alive and with the Avengers. Anymore would be disastrous especially in the hands of Hydra. Takamura Sr. has been dead for a long time but had a lab somewhere hidden in most north of Japan. You generalized the area to Hokkaido, one of Japan’s island. You made your plan and as soon as you touch ground, you’d gear up. You just hope Steve is taking your leaving okay.

**A few days before**

Bucky found himself some civilian clothes. He walked around DC a bit to find the Captain America exhibit at the Smithsonian. He bought a ticket and walked straight to the exhibit. Once he reached the first mural of Steve he slowed his pace trying to take in what his supposed past was. They glorified Steve. They glorified the efforts he had made. He past by the the Howling Commandos. Two mannequins were empty and he remembered you guys wearing the same outfits. _They stole them huh_ he chuckled to himself. He contemplated on stealing his as well but did he deserve to wear what once was for honour and dignity? He didn’t think so. He continued on walking. He watched the videos, he watched Peggy talk solemnly about them and then, he came across the one dedicated to you and him. He was supposedly dead to everyone. You were still missing but presumed dead as well. He picked up a pamphlet that held the information about you two, at least what people should know from the history books. Historians were treating him like a hero but questioned if you were at all loyal to America at all given your race. That angered him for some reason. He crushed the paper in hand. For some reason he knew you weren’t at all like that.

He left the museum and to the bank they wiped him at. He found the Hydra scientists that tortured him. Immediately knew they were fucked and one even pleaded he had a child. Bucky hesitated for a moment, was he actually going to take a child’s father? With great patience and compassion, he let him go. He looked over to the scientist he did kill.

“No more blood,” he muttered to himself, “No more…”

**April 2015**

Steve sat at his new place in Brooklyn. He made the decision to move all your stuff and his back to where they grew up. He missed you dearly. If only you had at least called but it was all radio silence. He’d wanted to write you the old fashion way but where would he send it to? He felt helpless knowing that maybe you’ve got lost somewhere. Maybe you’ve got caught up in some bad shit- _whoops_ \- …things. His phone rang and he quickly picked up with slight hope it would’ve been you.

“Hello?”

-Capsicle! How you doin’ buddy?-

“Oh it’s you Stark.”

-Ouch, expecting a different call?-

“No…” he sighed in defeat. He really wanted it to be you.

-Well… I called to ask if you are free on the 27th?-

“What’s happening on the 27th?”

-Avengers meeting. We have information on of the Hydra bases. We think Loki’s scept...-

“I’ll be there Stark.”

**Somewhere in Hokkaido**

Your search came to a dead end and all you could do is lay in the dirt where you camped. The last place you finally set on, you thought that it was the place Takamura was staying at. The building came up empty. Nothing. Only damn files they had foolishly left behind. You look through and you had a different clue but you’ve stayed in Japan for over a year and you’ve come up with nothing. You wasted a year. The dirt was wet from the rain you let yourself drown in. After a few moments of feeling like a failure you, clicked the button in your left hand. The once small Hydra base you got those files in _KABOOM_. You blew it to smithereens. If they had any plan to retreat back here, they had no chance. You sat up and huffed. You made your way to the shelter you made near the river. Since arriving to your makeshift home, the rain had stopped, perfect to take a bath. After, you gathered whatever food you found and looked through the files. Then you found something. Your next destination: Sokovia.


	18. Don't Push Me Away

**April 27 th 2015**

Steve rode the elevator up Avengers Tower, formerly Stark Tower. He walked into the top floor and into the conference room around the corner. The rest of the Avengers were already there.

“Steve!” Natasha met up with him at the doorway, “Long time no see! How’s the search going?”

“Dead ends so far but we’re not giving up.”

“Oh that’s good…” She looked around him and even circled him twice, “Uh…where’s (y/n)?”

He gave a small pout and reluctantly admitted, “She’s not here… She left the morning after we met with Fury.”

“How come? And how come it’s the first I’m hearing of this? Steve!” she hit his arm angered that one of her best friends kept this from her.

“I’ll explain it to you later, right now we got bigger fish to fry.”

**April 28 th, 2015**

_Okay… stay calm. You’ve done this before. It’s just taking out Takamura and this Baron von Strucker dude and what’s-his-face List?_ You planned to yourself as you perch on of the high beams within the fortress in Sokovia. There were hostiles everywhere as well as smaller scientists. _It’s like a needle in a haystack in here._ You balanced and snuck across the beams scouting the area. Then you spotted one Baron von Strucker, beside him Dr. List. They were watching something. You looked across to see what but it was actually a who. Two who’s to be exact. A strange girl and a boy who seems to be in a constant flux of speed. _Shit we got two enhanced beings? How many more do they have?_ Next to the two cells where they were kept, you saw him. Takamura. You were going to kill him once and for all.

 _I need a distraction_ you told yourself. The fortress rumbled and you heard the announcer call out.

[Report to your stations immediately. This is not a drill. We are under attack. We are under attack.]

Crap, they were going to try and escape. You quickly grabbed a knife and threw it towards them. With precision, you got Dr. List first. You trailed after Takamura next. You dropped down and noticed he was running solo to his office. You caught and trapped him in there with you.

“Ah… (y/n). Long time no see.”

“It has been. No where to run Takamura.”

“Hmm I suppose so. What are you going to do?”

“First you’re going to tell me what you had planned.”

“What plans?”

“Anything! Anything Hydra is planning that involves you,” you marched up to him and grabbed him by the coat.

“And if I told you? You’re going to stop those projects?”

“If I have to.”

“What if there are thousands?”

“Then I’ll take ‘em all down.”

“Persistent… but I know when I’m beat,” he offers his wrists as if surrendering.

“Oh no… You tell me what’s going on.”

“You’re not here to arrest me? You’re not with the Avengers?”

“Hell no… I got my own agenda and it started and ends with you, asshole,” you take a knife out and pointed it dangerously near his throat, “You’re going to tell me what you have in store.” Takamura saw the hate and coldness in your eyes.

“Seems like Hydra taught you a thing or two, that’s good. Channel that anger and use it,”

“Enough stalling!” you drew blood.

“Okay, okay… I’ll tell you. I will die with honour just like my father and my grandfather before me,” and he did. He told you there was more information on files within his office. You glanced around and true to his word, you finally took a good look around. You totally ignored it the first time because you were so concentrated on the bastard in front of you.

“I appreciate the honesty. You know, you could’ve done good if you went with SHIELD.”

“Yes but what would have they done? They would’ve just stored it for a rainy day. Hydra takes initiative, much like you with me.”

His taunt provoked you and you stabbed him in the heart.

“Hail Hydra,” he choked one last time. You pulled on your knife and let his body drop in front of you.

“I’m nothing like Hydra.”

You took in the constant rumbling of their defenses being shattered. That was your chance of distraction to try and find Strucker on your own. You went through the lab and you saw that those two kids had left. _Oh shit…_ You had no time or reason to go after them. You continued on your hunt for Strucker.

Steve found Strucker in a stairwell.

“Baron Strucker. Hydra’s number one thug.”

“Technically, I’m a thug for SHIELD.”

“Well then technically you’re unemployed,” you called out.

“(y/n)? What the- What are you doing here?”

“Later Cap.”

“Who are you?” Strucker asked you.

“Your worst nightmare,” you said darkly.

“Y-you’re the asset that got away.”

“Fuck off,” you raised your knife in hand but Steve stopped you, “Wait,” he looked back to Strucker, “Where’s Loki scepter?”

“Don’t worry, I know when I’m beat. You’ll mention how I cooperated, I hope.”

“I’ll put it right under illegal human experimentation. How many are there?”

You both didn't notice but the girl you saw had pushed you two down the stairs. She escaped. You followed Steve back up the stairs.

“We have a second enhanced. Female. Do not engage.”

“You’ll have to be faster than…” Steve flips his dropped shield and knocks him out. He turns back to a sullen you.

“What’s the matter?”

“He was my mission…” Steve didn’t like those word. Reminded him of the last words Bucky said to him. Just as soon as you said them you regretted them, “I mean… I was…”

“Where did you go?”

You twirled your knife, “Japan. Thought that’d be a main place Takamura would be.”

“The scientist?”

“The very one. Unfortunately, he wasn’t in Japan. That’s why I’m here.”

“Okay where is he?”

“Dead. In his office.” You noticed the disgust on his face, “We don’t kill our targets.”

“We? As in the Avengers?”

“We as in heroes, (y/n).” He was in full Captain mode and it wasn’t the kind you liked. Sure he was top dog, leader of the Avengers but you were no part of them. You didn’t think you’d keep up with them and their ways.

“I’m no hero, Steve.”

-Steve? Where are you? Stark got the scepter- Steve heard her over the comms.

“Yeah, on my way,” he asked you, “Do you have a ride?”

“No, actually… My bike is well… out of order and miles away from here.”

Steve nodded, “Come with us then. You need a break.”

So you followed Steve back to the quinjet.

“Excuse me, who’s this?” Stark asked Steve.

“No time, let’s get Clint back to the tower.”

In no time, they took off. You sat somewhere and took a load off. Steve didn’t talk to you, in fact, kept a distance.

“So what’s up between you and Steve?” Natasha whispered to you.

“Hey Nat. Nice to see you too… uh… I killed the scientist who brought me back. His name was Takamura, I don’t think I told you. Took out Dr. List too by the way. Took out a lot of people while I was gone. Steve well… he doesn’t take killing targets very well. That’s why I left in the first place. I couldn’t bear to see and hear what he thinks about me about this.”

“Oh…”

“Oh is right,” you looked to Steve and you caught him staring at you. As soon as you turned to him, he looked away.

You all made it back to Avengers tower and Clint was hauled off to the lab to be treated and Natasha followed him. Bruce Banner left immediately to his own lab. Thor walked off with the scepter. It left you, Steve, and Stark. There was so much tension between you and Steve that you felt out of place.

“(y/n)! Steve told me you were coming,” Maria Hill came up to you.

“Did he now? It’s nice to see you again,” you gave her a hug.

“Lab’s all set up, boss,” she said to Stark.

“Uh, actually he’s the boss,” referring to Steve, “I just pay for everything, and design everything, and make everyone look cooler,” he lists as he walks out of the jet. He claps your shoulder, “Hey, miss… Missy. God it’s so much harder to make a name for you. I’ll think of something. Anyways, I’m having a party tonight. You are welcome to come,” He clapped the sides of your arms and before you could answer, he left the jet.

“What’s the word on Strucker?” Steve asked Hill meeting up where you and her stood.

“NATO’s got him.”

“The two enhanced?”

She hands him a tablet with footage of the two kids you saw back at the Hydra base.

“Wanda and Pietro Maximoff,” she explained, “Twins. Orphaned at ten when a shell collapsed their apartment building. Sokovia’s had a rough history. It’s nowhere special but it’s on the way to everywhere special.”

You guys started to walk and they talked.

“Their abilities?”

“He’s got increased metabolism and improved thermal homeostasis. Her thing is neural, electric, interfacing, telekinesis, mental manipulation.”

Steve was confused and gave a look.

“He’s fast and she’s weird.”

“Well, they’re going to show up again.”

“Agreed. File says they volunteered for Strucker’s experiments. It’s nuts.”

Steve and you walk into the elevator, “Right. What kind of monster would let a German scientist experiment on them to protect their country?”

“We’re not at war, Captain.”

“They are.” And the doors close. You were descending.

“Steve, I-”

“I’m taking you to a room. I had Hill set it up on our way back.”

“A room? I’m not rooming with you?”

He stayed silent. _So that’s how it is_ you thought. He was mad at you for possibly forever and you just couldn’t make it up to him. He walked you to your room and gave you a keycard.

“Here… I’ll see you later for the party… that is if you’re coming.”

“Yeah…” he started to walk away, “Before you go… tell me one thing.”

He didn’t turn around.

“Are you disappointed in me?”

He bit his tongue and just left you at your door. You unlocked the suite and took in the dark room. Maybe you won’t go to the party. He’d probably have better fun with other people than to babysit you in all of your lost glory. You didn’t cry… You just felt guilty about everything. You wished you could take it all back. It was different when you were with Hydra. You had no choice. Now you did and it all went to shit.

**A couple hours later**

You didn’t sit on the couch or the bed. You stared at the wall as you sat down on the floor by the bed, twirling your knife around. What were you supposed to do? None of your belongings were with you. Steve hadn’t told you your stuff was with him back at his apartment, wherever that was. You could start on the fall of future Hydra experiments but now do you really want to? All you wanted to do was cuddle with Steve as he whispers sweet nothings in your ear. You wanted to be near Bucky too. You knew he was alive somewhere free of Hydra’s hold. You wonder where he could’ve gone.

Then a knock was at your door. It opened and Natasha popped in.

“(y/n)? You in here?”

“Yeah…” you answered quietly.

“Why are you in the dark? Why aren’t you dressed? You’re not coming?” You saw her as the lights came on. She wore a white and black dress, a bit on the formal side you had to admit. Her hair waved perfectly almost like the dames back in the 40s. She was all kinds of pretty. _Not like you_ you reminded yourself.

“I uh… don’t think I wanna go…”

“Oh come on, Steve will be there.”

“I know… doesn’t mean he’d wanna be around me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can see it in his eyes. Ever since I mentioned to him about Takamura, he shut down on me and the disappointment on his face…” it took all your power to not cry right in front of her.

“I’m sure he’s just stressed. You did leave for quite some time and he hasn’t had any luck on finding Bucky,” she said.

You nodded. “He hasn’t found anyone else has he?”

“Anyone else?”

“Yeah… I wouldn’t be mad… I hurt him again and he deserves so much. He’s the Man Out of Time. He-”

“So is Bucky. So are you. You guys are the trio out of time. You all deserve so much and you already have each other. No matter how bad it is.”

“Nat…”

“I’m pretty sure if Steve had to choose between you two and the Avengers, he’d pick you two. What’s that line you guys always say?”

“We’re with you ‘til the end of the line.”

“That’s the one. The man lives by that code everyday. Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten.”

“I might have Nat… I screwed up.”

“And what better way than to come to the party and just have some fun with his friends?”

“That’s going to help?”

“No but it’s gonna get your mind off of him for a while. It’s better than brooding in this dark room. Come on, we got about an hour and a half before the mall closes. We need to get you a dress.”

**Party time – May 2**

Nat walked into the multi-floor living space with a smug smile on her face. She stood beside Steve and Sam.

“Hey boys, how’s it going?”

“Nat, was gonna think you weren’t gonna show up,” teased Sam.

“Oh I had some things to do.”

“What things?” asked Steve.

As if on cue, you walked into the room as well and all eyes were on you. You blushed furiously as you heard almost all the chatter completely stop. You wore a pink dress, which was very similar to the one you wore back in the day. It didn't have flowers but just one medium-sized one over your heart. You wore some black flats with some neutral stockings. You felt like you were in high-school again. Your hair was done up in a ponytail and to top it off, you wore a pair of black-framed glasses, not like you needed ‘em. The serum gave you 20/20 vision but it completed the look.

You didn’t know where to go until Tony quickly put his arm around you.

“(y/n)! Glad you could make it! I love this 50s vibe going on. I know you didn’t live it but still.”

“I’ve seen the movies Stark. I kinda like this look.”

“As does everyone. Come,” he walked you to the bar, went behind the counter and personally offered you a drink, “Here you go. Now if you’re trying to get a certain mansicle jealous, you’re going to do a fine job.” He gave you a wink and went on his way.

**Steve’s POV**

Holy… what in the world? (y/n)? She was… beautiful. Just like she did when we were kids. I mean she was always beautiful, but golly. I was completely ignoring Natasha and Sam admiring her from where I stood. She got dragged by Stark to the bar and then he just left. I gotta keep her company. But before I even set foot, a guy went to her. Who the fuck? Why is he talking to my best girl? Did she meet him before the party? What are they talking about?

**(y/n) POV**

When Tony left you, you had no idea what you were going to do. You sipped on your drink, contemplating if you should see Steve but a guy came up to you.

“Hey…”

“Oh… um… hi.”

“I’m Jonathan. SHIELD agent. You’re (y/n) right?”

“How did you know?”

“The history books tell a different and show a different you. I have to admit though, this,” he waved his hand referring to you, “a lot better than the books.”

“Huh and here I thought the books were always better.”

“Works for movies, not the real life thing.”

You decided to be polite and actually kick back and relax. Maybe meeting people was a good thing.

“Natasha, who is that?” Steve finally voices.

“Him? I think his name is Jonathan. Agent. Rookie agent but he’s had pull in SHIELD for a while. I think his mom’s-”

“I’m going over there.”

Before Natasha could say that it’s probably nothing, he was already halfway to you.

“You just had to make her look good,” mocked Sam.

“Shut up. A little jealousy goes a long way.”

Steve finally reaches you and this Jonathan.

“Captain Rogers.”

“Jonathan is it?”

“Oh yes sir. I didn’t think-”

“Agent Romanoff told me.”

“Oh…”

“You mind if I steal (y/n)?”

“Oh… um…”

“Great.” He grabs your wrist and drags you anywhere but with that guy.

“Steve? What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” you reach a fairly empty spot on a higher level, “What’s wrong is my girlfriend is talking to other guys.”

“I was just being friendly?”

“It didn’t look so ‘friendly’ to me.”

“We were just talking. He made jokes. I laughed. End of story. What’s the matter with you?”

“I… I don’t… I don’t know…” he sounded defeated. You reached up to his face and he nuzzled in your touch, “I just missed you so much.”

“Me too Steve. I know you’re not happy with my actions but… I think Takamura was right.”

“What…?”

“He said something about how I took a bit of Hydra with me. I think maybe he was right.”

“You’re nothing like Hydra!”

“I know Steve… I know. I just… sometimes I can’t see the result from just locking them away.”

His face showed his hurt again.

“Don’t look at me like that…”

“I’m sorry… it’s not fair. You’ve gone through so much. You and Bucky. I’m here playing hero but all I wanna be is to be yours and Bucky’s hero.”

“You are Stevie, the best hero one could ask for. We just need time I think; to process what we can do. That’s why Bucky needed alone time. I needed some alone time. I haven’t been Hydra’s puppet since 1943 and last year? I remembered all of it and it felt awful. You saved the world trying to stop us, ultimately Bucky. You did the right thing. Nothing could ever be your fault. The only thing you probably need to learn is that sometimes… you can’t help everyone.”

“But if there’s a way-”

“Then there is. If there isn’t I think… I think you should let it be.”

“Don’t say it like you give up so easily.”

“Believe me, I don’t. Why do you think I went to Sokovia? I didn’t give up. Until there really, REALLY isn’t a way to solve a problem, then we gotta live with it.”

Steve looked deeply into your eyes.

“Now’s not the time to think about our problems. Can we make-up and go back to the party? I’m pretty sure Sam is getting tired of Tony’s antics.”

He finally smiled, “Alright baby. Kiss me?”

You smiled and kissed him sweetly.

“I love you Stevie.”

“I love you too (y/n/n).”


	19. Peace of Our Time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back! Kind of... Just thought I'd post the Ultron chapters but I'm am (still) currently stuck on the Civil War chapters so that might take a while. Those who viewed and gave kudos and who bookmarked, y'all rock!

The party died down and only the Avengers, you, Hill, Rhodey and Dr. Cho.

“It’s a trick!” accused Hawkeye, now you know as Clint Barton. They were talking about the “science” of Thor’s hammer, Mjolnir.

“Oh, no. it’s much more that that,” Thor said proudly.

“Uh, ‘Whosoever be he worth shall haveth the power!’ Whatever man! It’s a trick."

“Well please, be my guest.” Thor offered Clint to pick up the hammer. Rhodey and Tony tease him and whaddya know. Clint can’t pick up the hammer. The night goes on as they all but the girls try lifting the hammer. You were sure that the hammer moved a little bit for Steve, and you were doubly sure that Thor noticed but you and Steve kept it to yourselves.

“The handle’s imprinted, right? Like a security code. ‘Whosoever is carrying Thor’s fingerprints’ is, I think, the literal translation?” teases Tony.

“Yes, well that’s, uh, that’s a very, very interesting theory. I have a simpler one,” he amuses them and gets up to pick up his hammer. He easily lifts and twirls it, “You’re all not worthy.”

_SCREEEECH!_

You all pain in the horrid high pitched sound. Then you all hear a voice.

“Worthy… no… how could you be worthy? You’re all killers.” It came from a broken robot, one of Tony’s Iron Legion ones. Everyone stood on guard while Tony was doing his best to get JARVIS, his AI, to respond but there was no answer. So he needed to reboot.

Thor confronts, “Who sent you?”

The robot answered with a voice recording. It sounded like Tony.

“Ultron!” Dr. Banner exclaimed.

“In the flesh or… no. Not yet. Not this… chrysalis. But I’m ready. I’m on a mission.

“What mission?” Natasha asked.

“Peace in our time.” Then out of the blue, the rest of the Iron Legion burst out of the wall behind Ultron and we all scattered. We battled the robots the best we could, some of us were already getting knocked down but we weren’t giving up. It didn’t take long before all the bots were down leaving Ultron.

“That was dramatic! I’m sorry, I know you mean well,” the bot said slyly, “You just didn’t think it through. You want to protect the world, but you don’t want it to change. How is humanity save if it’s not allowed to… evolve?” He waddles over to broken pieces of a bot and picked a piece up, “With these? These puppets? There’s only one path to peace: The Avengers’ extinction.”

Thor throws his hammer right into Ultron smashing him and a creepy version of ‘I’ve Got No Strings’ from Pinocchio plays and fades out.

We gathered back in the lab and it looked like this Ultron escaped through the internet. We blamed Tony for this mess. He created something and it grew to be dangerous.

“How are you guys planning on beating that?” Tony questions the rest of the team.

Steve steps forward, “Together.”

“We’ll lose.”

“Then we’ll do that together too,” Of course he says something like that. Ultron’s calling us out and I’d like to find him before he’s ready for us. The world’s a big place. Let’s start making it smaller.” We had to call it a night.

Steve walked me back to my room.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“You’re not leaving?”

“It sounds like you guys need a lot of help. You and I may not be so well versed in technology like everyone else, but they need the muscle. I’ll stay Stevie.”

“Are you sure?”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No!” he said a little too loudly, “I mean… no… I just-”

“Don’t say it. You and I are both super soldiers. Don’t you fucking say it.”

“Okay, okay… baby I’m sorry. You know me.”

“I’m not that little girl from 1933 anymore. I grew up.”

“I know… but you leaving and Bucky leaving took a really big toll on me.”

“So did you guys leaving for the army. I was gonna wait it out like you guys asked but then the kidnapping…”

“I get it. So we’re even then right?”

“Totally even,” you kissed him.

“Let me stay with you. It’s been too long.”

“Of course Stevie.”

Steve quickly went to fetch some clothes from the room Tony kept for him if he ever stayed over then came back to you. You settled to cuddle for a bit and you noticed how quiet Steve was while playing with your hair. His eyes were staring elsewhere. Into space.

“Baby? What’s on your mind?”

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing if you’re not humming,” you knew when he was in a good mood, he’d hum.

“If we get out of this alive… I want you to stay with me but I was wondering if you’d want that. Would I be holding you back?”

“No of course not. I left because my standards about handling targets are different from yours now. I knew you weren’t going to approve but I had to. I don’t want other people, kids, to suffer. The world doesn’t need anymore enhanced humans than there already are.”

His exhale was audible.

“But… I’m willing to re-learn to not… kill anyone. I don’t want anymore blood on my hands unless necessary.”

“You’ll do that?”

“I’m an agent, baby. I made an oath to protect people. May have diverged from that a bit it’s still there. I’m still me.”

He kissed your forehead. Both of you fell fast asleep. You made a promise you were going to be a better person. For Steve. For Bucky. For yourself.

The next day, the team started brainstorming where Ultron’s next plan was. Turns out he made a move in NATO. Strucker was dead. He left a message with his blood. **PEACE** was written on the wall and you could see his crumpled form on the bed. Ultron managed to erase all data on Strucker but what’s better was that we had physical files. At least some things never changed. You tore through file after file, box after box before Bruce found something.

“Wait I know that guy. From back in the day. He operates off the African coast, black market arms.” Steve looked at him funny. “There are conventions, alright? You meet people, I didn’t sell him anything. He was talking about finding something new, a game changer, it was all very Ahab.”

The man on the photo had tattoos all over his body but Thor pointed out that the thing on his neck was a branding. Banner recognizes it and quickly translates it. It was in Wakandan and Tony, Steve, and you knew what that meant.

“If this guy got out of Wakanda with some of their trade goods,” you mentioned.

“I thought your father said he got the last of it?” Steve asked Tony.

“I don’t follow,” says Banner, “What comes out of Wakanda?”

We all just looked over to Steve’s shield, “The strongest metal on Earth,” Tony points out.

“Where is this guy now?”

We made way on the quinjet. Steve comes up to you.

“(y/n/n)… I need you to stay here with Bruce.”

“But Steve,”

“You’re not benched. I need you to take care of him. Make sure he doesn’t go green. Okay? That’s your mission.”

You was about to retort until, “It’s not babysitting. The more people there, the more chaos there’ll be.”

“Yeah, ‘cause the Avengers always make a mess,” I tease.

“Hey, we try not to.”

“2 minutes guys,” announces Tony.

You gave Steve a chaste kiss, “Don’t make a mess.”

“Yes ma’am.”

You and Bruce waited a while. You can hear their comms go off in the quinjet.

“I hope they’re alright,” Bruce says.

“Me too…”

Then it was quiet.

[Whoever’s standing, we gotta move! Guys?]

“That’s Clint.”

“What does he mean whoever’s standing?” you bring your hand to your ear, “Steve? Natasha? Anybody?!” No one answered. Then you see Pietro speed in front with his sister. They were recovering over something but they momentarily look towards you two.

“Oh no, quick, close the hatchet!” but it was too late. You froze as a red haze blurs your vision and you were transported someplace else. It was the train where Bucky fell off of but instead of just him, Steve was also hanging.

“How could you do this?” Steve’s voice echoed through the alps. You heard the older Takamura in your ear, _“Well done Asset. Hydra is so proud of you.”_ They fell in front of your eyes. You started to scream. You didn’t notice Steve’s voice in your ear frantically asking you what was wrong. He got no answer but your screams. Everyone could hear them now but they were still pretty dazed from what Wanda had done to them. Tony shut your comms from your end to not hear your blood curdling scream.

**Steve’s POV**

We quickly made it back to the quinjet but we had to leave immediately. We failed today. Clint took off and put the jet in stealth mode. I saw you in a fetal position next to the wall. I managed to calm you down when I got back but you couldn’t talk to me. Your eyes looked despondent. You were doing a lot worse than I am. I held you in my arms until we got to this safe house Clint mentioned.

You all walked off the jet. This house was across a small field. It looked kind of old, that or it was under renovation. It was white, with a porch and a barn was just over on the right. Steve helped you inside and Clint called out, “Honey, I’m home.” A woman walked in. She was pregnant and Clint hugged and kissed her. The Avengers were shocked except for Natasha. You weren’t, you didn’t know Clint. Clint introduced them to Laura, his wife. Then children came running down and the Avengers were even more shocked. Thor left not too long after. Once again, you felt a bit out of place. Laura was getting set up trying to accommodate everyone.

“We don’t have a lot of rooms but…” you cut Laura off.

“Actually… do you have a sleeping bag? Maybe a tent? I’d like to sleep outside.”

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“Um… I’ve been camping in the woods for about a year. I’ve kind of been a nomad until a few days ago. Can’t seem to sleep on a bed.”

“I get it… Yeah. I’ll get one for you. I’m sure we have one in the storage.”

“Thank you ma’am.”

“Please, Laura.”

“Laura. Thank you.”

Laura smiled and you waited out on the porch. I followed you there.

“Honey?”

“Steve…”

“You alright? Laura mentioned you not sleeping in a room tonight.”

“Yeah… after camping out in Japan for a while, a bed doesn’t seem… right.”

“Ah… Sam told me something like this. It’s like sleeping on a marshmallow huh.”

“Yeah… plus…”

“Wanda? She got in your mind too?”

“Uh… yeah…” you asked me, “What was yours about? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Tell me yours first,” I wanted to avoid that. I forgot how observant you are.

“Steve… I asked first.”

He gave you a sigh, “You… you were in Hydra hands. The Asset again. I could barely recognize you. You… fuck,” I muttered to myself, “you… took Bucky by the hair and just… killed him…”

It didn’t really faze you. I wondered if these visions were what all of you were really thinking. Secrets coming into the light.

“I didn’t believe that one bit though. You know why?”

“Why?” you say trying to hold back your tears.

“Your scream brought me back. If you were a heartless killer, you wouldn’t be screaming like that. You have feelings (y/n/n). Not for a second do I think that you’re evil.” I took you in my arms and cradled you as you cried. The vision of yours haunted you. I hushes you to try and calm down.

“You don’t have to tell me now, sweetheart, but I’d like to know what’s going on in that pretty head of yours,” sounded like my Brooklyn accent was seeping through. You always thought I did that on purpose to ease your mind. It works though. You just weren’t ready for that talk yet.


	20. All Is Well

You all took Hill’s recommendation to lay low until we came up with a plan of attack. All of you had different jobs to do around the place or you had some free time. Clint was being a dad, Thor was still gone, Bruce and Nat went to go get groceries, Steve and Tony were chopping wood and you? You were just… chilling. You had asked Clint if you could borrow the target in the barn. You were just throwing knives when Fury walked in on you.

“Agent (l/n).”

He startled you, “Fuck! Nick what the hell? What are you doing here? I thought you were in Europe.”

“I was, until I saw the news. Here I was sitting in my room, in Italy mind you, and I see you guys managing to destroy almost a whole city.”

“To be fair… I wasn’t in that. I was in the quinjet with Bruce,” you continued your throwing.

“Doesn’t change the fact that you guys have to lay low. What happened out there?”

“The Maximoff kids… The girl got in our heads.”

“I see… You okay?”

“I don’t know Nick, to be honest. Steve’s was about me being a fucking Hydra puppet. Mine was about the same but I killed them Nick,” your last throw was and intense one but Laura walked in.

“Oh… Nick,” said Laura.

“Hi, Laura, could you tell Stark to come in here? Alone? Could you also be discreet?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“You’ll figure out something,” Laura shook her head slightly unamused. You looked back at Nick before collecting your knives and exiting the barn as well.

That night, Nick joined for dinner and a plan was laid out. Tony was going to Oslo to decrypt some nuclear codes, Steve, Natasha, and Clint are going to South Korea, Bruce and I will wait at the tower and Fury will be with Hill. Once dinner was done, we were told to suit up. You made your way to the barn.

The barn door creaked open a little.

“(y/n/n)? You okay?”

“Yeah… just… stressed,” as confessed as I was gearing up.

“Maybe you should sit the next mission out.”

You stop what you was doing, “What?”

“Please don’t take it the wrong way!” He came closer to you calming you down, “I’m worried about you. Physically you may be in shape but your mind isn’t. I just want you to be okay. I just feel this extra stress isn’t worth it. Let us handle this next one.”

“So where am I supposed to go?”

“Stay here?”

“No, Steve. It’s dangerous for just myself to be here, no matter how much safe this ‘safe house’ is.” He knew he was going to end up arguing with you. He missed when Bucky would argue with you instead of him. He was always the better arguer.

“Look, there’s a few bikes in the quinjet. Take one and find a place to lay low. I’ll get in contact with you after.”

You were angry that you were getting benched but the vision took a toll on you. You wanted revenge but somehow, Steve made you see some reason. _Some_.

“Fine…” you huffed and finished gearing up. You followed Steve back to the quinjet. He rolled out a bike and boarded the jet.

“Be safe Steve.”

“Always (y/n/n).” The hatch closed and they took off. Laura stood beside you.

“Steve… he’s completely clueless isn’t he.”

“He is. Has been since I met him.”

“He was just trying to protect you…”

“hm.”

“I heard about you. From the history books, from Clint.”

“Oh yeah? I kinda barely know him so I don’t know how much he told you.”

“Well his information comes from Steve himself. Captain America is a leader. He knows everyone signed up for a fight. Including you.”

“I don’t know what point you’re getting at Laur.”

“What I’m _trying_ to get at is… I think he wants you to defy him.”

You raised an eyebrow, “Beg pardon?”

“Think about it. Ultron is waiting for the Avengers. You’re not an Avenger. You can probably sneak around and find out what Ultron’s next move before he gets there.”

“Are you sure Tony was wrong? You sure you’re not an agent.”

“I’m just someone with a different view.”

You chuckled. Whether Steve really wanted you benched or it was just some sort of secret message to go under Ultron’s radar, you were so getting back at him. Then suddenly, Fury came up behind you.

“Holy shit! Stop sneaking up on me! Hold on… didn’t you leave a while ago?”

“Supposedly I did but I heard Cap and you talking. Figured you’d need a lift back and would need more than just this bike he gave you.”

“You’re really convenient you know. As if it was _that_ ridiculous that Steve would just give me a bike and someone out there _decided_ to just have you give me a ride.”

“Crazy universe huh.”

“Kinda yeah.”

You flew with Fury and he rendezvous’d with Hill. He equipped you with a smaller type of quinjet but big enough to move around and plan. You had access to Tony’s private server, courtesy of Fury as he forced Tony for access just in case and as (former) director of SHIELD. You followed Steve into South Korea as Ultron would be there. You just hovered over the country and saw the chase below. _I told him to not make a mess_. You diverted from where Steve was. Ultron had parted with him as he thought that train was going to stop him and two other enhanced kids. You followed Ultron back to Sokovia.

“What are you doing in Sokovia?” you asked yourself. You landed the jet somewhere off the border of Sokovia and ended up riding in undetected. You mapped it out and found the base of operations. It was difficult at first but you found it beneath the ground. Then you heard someone familiar. _Is that Nat?_ You crept around and found her locked up.

“Psst… Nat!”

“(y/n)? What the hell are you doing here?”

“Well… doing my own thing _as per usual_. You wanna hang in there for a sec. Might be best if one of the Avengers break you out than me. Ultron would get suspicious.

“Yes, he would,”a mechanic voice said behind you. You turned around and Ultron took you by the throat.

“You’re… Captain Rogers’ girl?”

“Guess my rep is based off my boyfriend. Shame.”

“Indeed. There’s not much information about you. Who are you?”

“Just… a Secret Avenger.”

“Secret?”

You pushed off and ran like hell. The bots chased you and there were so many of them. After struggling and almost getting caught, you made it outside and there was terror. People were running. People were… evacuating. You linked your coms to the rest of the Avengers.

“Avengers?”

Tony: Missy? You’re here?”

“Sure am. Is someone going to get Nat?”

Bruce: Where is she?

“I found her. Ultron has built a shit ton of cradles underground. I was just chased out so she’s still in there. I can’t bring you in the way I came. Can you manage Banner?”

Bruce: I’ll find a way thanks.

Tony: I don’t think Cap likes that language.

“I’m the exception. Ultron has a something planned at an old, abandoned, and very destroyed church. I think you can find it from up there Stark.”

Tony: Thanks honeygirl.

“Steve? What’s the plan?”

Steve: I knew you’d come.

“Well, someone had a different view on things and gave me a hint. You got one helluva dame there Barton.”

Clint: I know.

Steve: Plan is to evacuate Sokovia to outside of the border.

“Got it Cap. I’ll come over to you and give you some cover in your area.”

Steve: Sure.

You made your way to the spot where Steve told you he was at. You did your best to evacuate as many people as possible until the bots came rushing in. Then the ground started to shake. Sokovia is going up. You fought and fought but it was getting almost overwhelming and you were two super soldiers and Natasha had joined you guys.

Clint: Alright, we’re all clear here.

“We are not clear!” Steve panted as he smashed his shield into another bot.

“We are very not clear!” you said taking out another.

Clint: Alright, coming to you!

“The next wave’s gonna hit any minute. What have you got, Stark?” asked Steve.

Tony: Well, nothing great. Maybe a way to blow up the city. That’ll keep it from impacting the surface if you guys can get clear.

“I asked for a solution, not an escape plan.”

Tony: Impact radius is getting bigger every second. We’re going to have to make a choice.

“Steve… these people are going nowhere. If Tony finds a way to blow this rock…” you say.

“Not ‘til everyone’s safe,” his determination reminds you of pre-serum Steve.

“Everyone up here versus everyone down there? There’s no math there.”

“I’m not leaving this rock with one civilian on it.”

“Always the dramatic one aren’t you. Well,” you roll up your sleeves, “There’s worse ways to go. Where else am I gonna get a view like this.”

Fury: Glad you like the view, (l/n). It’s about to get better.”

Fury and Hill brought a helicarrier. A better version of it.

“Fury, you son of a bitch,” Steve swore.

Fury: ohh! You kiss your mother with that mouth?

“Nah, he kisses me. Let’s go team!”

Hill launched lifeboats and all of you knew what the next plan was. You loaded the people on an they were going to get to safety. Once all the civilians were loaded safely, all of you circled back to where the spire was.

“Who in the hell are you?” I ask the newest member of the group.

“I am… Vision. You are…?”

“(y/n). Nice to meet yah. You lookin’ hella awesome.”

Vision smiled fondly and floated to his place. You nudged Steve beside you, “What the fuck happened?” you asked discreetly. “JARVIS is a being now. Baby, we can talk about it later.”

Tony pointed to the spire, “This is the drill. If Ultron gets a hand on the core, we lose.” Ultron shows up behind us. We get ready for the fight.

“Is that the best you can do?” Thor boomed.

An army of robots join Ultron’s side.

“You had to ask,” Steve and I said in unison.

“This is the best I can do,” he replied, “this is exactly what I wanted. All of you, against all of me. how could you possibly hope to stop me?”

Tony spoke up, “Well, like the old man said. Together.”

It was a long and well fought war against the bots. Like Steve and Tony said, together we fought, if one was overpowered, we backed them up, if we went high, the others went low. Synergy all around. The bots that flew away were stopped by Tony and Rhodey. Wanda stayed behind to protect the spire. The rest of us retreated as Tony had a way to take out the flying rock without harming anyone. It seemed like everyone was secure but you all heard Clint say he was going back for a trapped child. We could see Ultron’s plane and shots were fired and just as fast as the bullets came, we all heard Pietro, “You didn’t see that coming.” Seconds after, Wanda’s scream can be heard direct from the source. Pietro was gone. We all loaded up, there wasn’t anything we could do. We flew away and saw the city explode into pieces. I held onto Steve as we flew back to America. I could use a vacation right about now.

**A few months later**

Things have been great. Government has been the Avengers’ ass but still, great. They got their own compound in upstate New York, you and Steve would be living here 24/7. It’s out of the way so no one really knows where this is. Tony said it used to be an old SSR warehouse so its position is amazing. You, Sam, Wanda, and Vision were just talking, little bit of sparring, getting to know each other before Nat and Steve walked into the hangar. Steve stood tall and you couldn’t be happier to see your boyfriend.

“Avengers…”


	21. L'anniversaire

**December 16, 2015**

It was a nice bright snowy day. Sun hits your face and you groaned as you wanted to just snuggled against Steve for as long as you could.

“Princess… wake up.”

“5 more minutes Stevie.”

“Come on, we got a big day ahead of us.”

“Do we? A mission?”

“No silly,” he kissed your forehead. You looked up at him in confusion as to what he meant by ‘big day’.

He chuckled, “Happy birthday (y/n).”

After probably another hour (or maybe it was two), you two finally went to the living space where you saw the rest of them minus Tony.

“Good morning guys!” you said oh-so-cheerfully.

“You guys look really… happy. What’s up?” asked Nat with a raised a eyebrow. She knew what happened.

“Yeah you two… if you’re gonna be all lovey dovey first thing in the morning, keep it in the bedroom,” teased Sam.

“Well, guys, it’s actually (y/n)’s birthday.”

They all cheered and greeted birthday wishes and it was probably one of the best birthday’s you had. The only thing that could be better is Bucky and maybe Tony. Which reminded you…

“Hey guys? Where’s Tony?”

Nat and Sam gave a solemn look at each other until Nat decided to speak, “He’s down in his workshop. Today isn’t really a happy day for him.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah… Tony’s parents’ death anniversary is today.”

Well shit, here you are having a good day but Tony downstairs isn’t. Well there could be one solution. You made your way downstairs with the damn pot of coffee and accessed the workshop. It was loud to say the least and rock music filled the air. You could see his assistant bots barely helping him while he worked away on whatever project he has in his desk.

“Tony?” he didn’t answer, “Tony!” once more, “TONY!”

“Huh what?” The music quieted down immediately, “oh… uh… hey.”

“Hey… um I heard.”

“I did too. Happy birthday. I can get a gift sent-“

“You don’t have to. Here,” you offered the coffee pot and he could only sigh and smile a little bit.

“Thanks…”

“Thank you. Tony… I’m sorry about your parents. I don’t even feel like I wanna celebrate it. I haven’t in so long. You though,”

“Oh god no (y/n) no… you have to. I just get a bit… depressed every year on this day.”

“And this year ain’t one of ‘em. If you insist I celebrate my birthday, then so be it. On one condition.”

He looked at you without an answer and anticipated our offer.

“You celebrate it with me. Bucky is gone and it’s definitely not the same without him. I’m not saying you’re a replacement but I’d like to have all my friends together on my birthday. And as far as I know Howard was an amazing guy,” he gave you a scoff, “ _that doesn’t mean_ he wasn’t all good. Okay, I’ve read the files on Howard and you. Sorry to hear it was rocky but I can assure you they would be so proud of you.”

He tightened his lips contemplating on taking your offer.

“Come on. How about we… look for the guy who did it then? It’ll be our little secret mission.”

That piqued his interest.

“That looks like a yes! Alright! JARVIS?”

“I am FRIDAY, ma’am.”

“Oh right. You think I’d get used to it after a few months since Sokovia. Sorry Fri, could you pull up any known sources of the crash, any known clues from old police reports?”

“Right on it ma’am, please wait a moment.”

You rolled onto one of the seats next to Tony. He was surprised as to why you were so adamant on doing whatever this is, but he liked it.

You two spent hours combing through files upon files and to no avail, nothing showed that the crash wasn’t anything but.

“Look… sweetheart, I appreciate that you wanna help me but you shouldn’t be spending your birthday doing all this.”

“What if I want to?”

“Nope that’s it, you, pretty girl, are gonna spend it like any other regular person. With a party. I’m going to make a few calls, we’ll light up the place, it’ll be fantastic.” With that he left the workshop and you were shaking your head in disbelief. An idea came to you and you asked FRIDAY one more time, “Hey, is there any chance you can hack into any old Hydra files?”

“I will try. Give me one moment.”

Why you guys haven't thought of that first was beyond you. A moment passed. You were totally impressed and some video files came into view. There were CCTV on the road they were driving on. You ended up on the final one and you saw something that shocked you. You saw Bucky… no the Winter Soldier. He took a dazed Howard and killed him on the spot with his metal arm. He placed him back on the seat to make it looked like it was a car crash. Maria was immobile and he went over to her side of the car and choked her there. He took something from the trunk and walked up to the CCTV nearby. He looked straight into the camera and shot it clean. The video cut and you were speechless. There was no way you could let Tony know about this. It would devastate him. He would see red.

“FRIDAY, put all of these videos in a separate folder. For my eyes only. Tony… Tony can never see this.”

“Are you sure? I recommend he-“

“FRIDAY! Please! If anything, just keep it safe for me. Private file with encryption. 6-digit code… 171818. Classified for me. Got it?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“And one more thing, start up a new project for me. I’m going to find James Buchanan Barnes.”

The night came and the living space was just the Avengers. You all had a good chat around the coffee table, kinda like the time at the old Stark Tower. You told stories of the old times with you, Steve and Bucky. Steve was completely embarrassed but truly happy that he has you right by his side. Tony stood up with a champagne glass in hand.

“Guys, let’s make a toast. To (y/n). She has been through a lot. All that bullshit she has done in the past is incomparable to what we’ve seen. She helped me get over what today is for me. I couldn't ask for a better friend. Happy birthday (y/n/n).”

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” they all said in unison. You clanked your glasses and the chill out party went on.

Back in the bedroom, you had sat there on the bed waiting for Steve to finish cleaning up for the night.

“So, what’d you do with Tony baby? Baby?”

“Huh? Uh… thought we’d… look into the crash.”

“Howard and Maria’s?”

“Yeah…” he walked out of the bathroom and sat next to you.

“How’d it go then?”

“Well…”

“You found something. That’s great!”

“No! No… it’s not. Steve… this… Tony can’t know. He’d be royally pissed.”

“He’s our friend (y/n/n). You gotta tell him.”

“Not if you see the footage Steve.” Steve looked to you in confusion. What could possibly be wrong besides them dying?

“FRIDAY, open up the private files. Open the last CCTV from that day.” The hologram popped up and there he was. Bucky. Steve’s eyes darkened but not in hate but in kind of a vengeful way. They used your boyfriend for those deeds. Steve couldn’t. He wanted to do something.

“What the fuck is this? That’s Bucky!”

“I know! He’s the reason why we can’t tell him.”

“We gotta do something!”

“There’s nothing we can do! I took out Takamura already. No one is remaking the serum. There’s no Hydra target anymore. Just Bucky. Tony will hate us for sure. It’s a lose-lose situation.”

Steve calmed down and you took his hand in yours.

“Alright… we don’t tell Tony. But we gotta…”

“Already on it. I had FRIDAY quietly run through some satellite photos and video. I think I got something but we can’t just show up on his doorstep.”

He looked at you sadly.

“No, no baby, don’t be like that. We still got…” You looked over to your clock, “37 minutes til my birthday is over? I think I still want one more thing before it ends? You think it can happen in 37 minutes?”

He helplessly chuckled, “You got it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might be awhile before posting any Civil War chapters. I wanna be as accurate as possible while putting Reader's story into it. Thanks though for even having the time to look at this! I've never really done any fanfics, let alone writing so just even looking through is much appreciated :)


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